These are unbelievable.....

[Northstander]

IF YOU THINK YOU`RE DUMB ABOUT COMPUTERS, READ THIS, YOU`LL FEEL BETTER.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command Press Any Key to Press Return Key because of the flood of calls asking where the Any key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn`t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician iscovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the Send key.

4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was Bad and an invalid. The tech explained that the computer`s bad command and invalid responses shouldn`t be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it couldn`t find printer. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn`t see the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn`t get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened. The foot pedal turned out to be the computer`s mouse...

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn`t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, What power switch?

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn`t even fit it in... The user hadn`t realized that Insert Disk 2 implied removing Disk 1 first.

 

[Bobby's Gull]

Bloody hell.

 

[Meade's Ball]

At my old work the tech support told me about a woman who phoned with a query and was told to right-click on an icon.
It turns out she'd then written the word click on a nearby piece of paper.

 

[Cian]

Thats AT LEAST 5 years old, as AST went bankrupt in 1999

And I also got that mail years ago.

 

[pasty]

I remember when I was working in a large high volume print room, I told a customer that their job would be delayed because the printer had fallen over. I was genuinely asked if there was no one around to pick it up again.

 

[Scarface]

Americans eh?

 

[Eddie the Seagull]

I was a £120 p/h techie years ago. Got a call from an extremely irate client. "Your software doesn't work, the keyboard won't work.........blah, blah....

I tried to explain our software had nowt to do with the keyboard etc. But he insisted I drive to Wakefield to sort it. I said OK, but if it turned out to be hardware related I would be billing him.

When I got there I was met with scowls & lots of grief.

It turned out that the 'NUMLOCK' key was OFF!

Boy did he look a right wanker & it cost his company £1500 in all.

*Note* He was their Ops. Manager aswell!

Bigtime & waster.

 

[Hungry Joe]

Thats AT LEAST 5 years old, as AST went bankrupt in 1999

And I also got that mail years ago.

It's still very funny though.

 

[Halftime Oranges]

It's still very funny though.

Yeah

 

[Marc]

my best one from my current workplace:

I get a call "The printer is displaying an error!"

I go check it out........its out of paper :thud:

Had some other classics like "the keyboard keeps mis-spelling words" and crap like that

 

[Braders]

Had some other classics like "the keyboard keeps mis-spelling words" and crap like that

classic

 

[Exmouth Seagull]

I work as a milkman.

One of my customers has two deliveries per week, a pint of milk on Tuesdays and a pint of milk and a bottle of peach Perfectly Clear on Saturdays.

She left out the following note last week;

`Dear Milkman

Can you not leave me any more peach Perfecly Clear.

Thanx

Di Snow

p.s. I still want one every Saturday.`

 

[Stumpy Tim]

I heard about one guy who phoned a help-desk saying his keyboard didn't work. Apparently, he was typing his password into his NT login & the keyboard would only produce stars.

 

[beorhthelm]

my best one from my current workplace:

I get a call "The printer is displaying an error!"

I go check it out........its out of paper :thud:

thats not even funny - i have to deal with that on a weekly basis. Sales people are just too dumb or lazy to actually go to the printer to see what the error is, or read the full message if they do get there