[Humour] The wit and wisdom of the people of Conyer

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

At the entrance to a local marsh-side walk, the usual civic notices.

Well, it made me laugh.

 

[Weststander]

Wish I’d taken a photo of an aggressive note in a work gents loo about ten years. After someone must’ve missed with a .

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Wish I’d taken a photo of an aggressive note in a work gents loo about ten years. After someone must’ve missed with a .

There is a note in one of ours that said 'please leave the facilities as you would expect to find them' and someone scribbled 'What, shit and piss everywhere?'.

So they replaced the note with 'as you would hope to find them'.

In the end it turned out to be a triumph of expectation over hope.

 

[Somethingdean]

On an unrelated note, who the f*** keeps a Canadian Goose as a pet? Horrible little bastards.

 

[Weststander]

On a more pleasant subject of wildlife walks, have you visited here yet? If we lived in NE Kent, we definitely would have.

https://kent.wildwoodtrust.org/#

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

On an unrelated note, who the f*** keeps a Canadian Goose as a pet? Horrible little bastards.

Lives over Teynham way.

 

[SeagullinExile]

On an unrelated note, who the f*** keeps a Canadian Goose as a pet? Horrible little bastards.

Yup. If I found it I’d be pan frying its breast meat within the hour. Delicious.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

On a cubicle wall in a newly decorated building site toilet years ago.

“The painters work was all in vain, the shithouse poet strikes again”

 

[Weststander]

On a cubicle wall in a newly decorated building site toilet years ago.

“The painters work was all in vain, the shithouse poet strikes again”

Or Moviprep

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

On a more pleasant subject of wildlife walks, have you visited here yet? If we lived in NE Kent, we definitely would have.

https://kent.wildwoodtrust.org/#

Yes, but I'm a National Trust member and this place is different (but charges). That's OK bit I didn't find it all that 'wild'.

There are far more accessible open spaces here than down Brighton way. Just park and walk. No charges. This place is absolutely amazing:

Victory Wood

With huge sweeps of meadow and wide mown paths overlooking the sea, Victory Wood seems surprisingly unlike a wood. That’s because it’s very recently planted – it was established in 2005 to celebrate…

favershamlife.org

As is this:

Perry Wood - Kent Downs

Perry Wood is a truly unique spot with jutting mounds of sand and heathland wildlife amid the rolling chalk of the Downs, south of Faversham.

kentdowns.org.uk

And this:

King’s Wood - Kent Downs

King's Wood is a magical woodland near Ashford with wonderful installations by world renowned artists slowing being reclaimed by nature

kentdowns.org.uk

And so on

 

[Weststander]

Yes, but I'm a National Trust member and this place is different (but charges). That's OK bit I didn't find it all that 'wild'.

There are far more accessible open spaces here than down Brighton way. Just park and walk. No charges. This place is absolutely amazing:

Victory Wood

With huge sweeps of meadow and wide mown paths overlooking the sea, Victory Wood seems surprisingly unlike a wood. That’s because it’s very recently planted – it was established in 2005 to celebrate…

favershamlife.org

As is this:

Perry Wood - Kent Downs

Perry Wood is a truly unique spot with jutting mounds of sand and heathland wildlife amid the rolling chalk of the Downs, south of Faversham.

kentdowns.org.uk

And this:

King’s Wood - Kent Downs

King's Wood is a magical woodland near Ashford with wonderful installations by world renowned artists slowing being reclaimed by nature

kentdowns.org.uk

And so on

Victory Wood looks stunning …. the views, silence and wildlife.

If Magic Grandpa hadwon in 2019, he might’ve renamed it Madhist Mount .

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Victory Wood looks stunning …. the views, silence and wildlife.

If Magic Grandpa hadwon in 2019, he might’ve renamed it Madhist Mount .

Not sure if all the details are there but when you stand by the monument and look down over the Swale, there are trees planted to represent all the ships in the battle of Trafalgar, carefully planted across a vast area of flatland.

It was all MOD till the early 90s, and there is an underground bunker at the highest point that was part of our system to thwart invading Russians. It is still not a well know spot down here and it is normally deserted. Brilliant place to go during Covid. Sadly at the Eastern Canterbury end entrance dog walkers have discovered 1940s entitlement and leave the dog shit where it has landed. Which takes us full circle....

 

[el punal]

While we’re on the subject of toilets, poo and notices I thought I’d enlighten you with this little ditty that I saw in a pub bog :

“Here I sit brokenhearted,

Tried to shit,

And only farted.”

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Yes, but I'm a National Trust member and this place is different (but charges). That's OK bit I didn't find it all that 'wild'.

There are far more accessible open spaces here than down Brighton way. Just park and walk. No charges. This place is absolutely amazing:

Victory Wood

With huge sweeps of meadow and wide mown paths overlooking the sea, Victory Wood seems surprisingly unlike a wood. That’s because it’s very recently planted – it was established in 2005 to celebrate…

favershamlife.org

As is this:

Perry Wood - Kent Downs

Perry Wood is a truly unique spot with jutting mounds of sand and heathland wildlife amid the rolling chalk of the Downs, south of Faversham.

kentdowns.org.uk

And this:

King’s Wood - Kent Downs

King's Wood is a magical woodland near Ashford with wonderful installations by world renowned artists slowing being reclaimed by nature

kentdowns.org.uk

And so on

I love the conservation work in Victory wood where one butterfly needs wood ants who need oak trees, and cow ear. Nature needs to be balanced.

 

[essbee1]

While we’re on the subject of toilets, poo and notices I thought I’d enlighten you with this little ditty that I saw in a pub bog :

“Here I sit brokenhearted,

Tried to shit,

And only farted.”

Or upon reading a scribbled line at the top of the wall "if you can read what I have put, you are pissing on your
foot".

 

[GT49er]

While we’re on the subject of toilets, poo and notices I thought I’d enlighten you with this little ditty that I saw in a pub bog :

“Here I sit brokenhearted,

Tried to shit,

And only farted.”

In a gents somewhere, many years ago.....................

Above the end urinal, next to the end wall: "Look left".
On the wall: "Look left again".
On the wall behind the user: "You are now pi$$ing down your left trouser leg".

(FWIW, I waited until I'd finished!)

 

[Baldseagull]

While we’re on the subject of toilets, poo and notices I thought I’d enlighten you with this little ditty that I saw in a pub bog :

“Here I sit brokenhearted,

Tried to shit,

And only farted.”

Whilst yesterday, I took a chance,
Tried to Fart and shat my pants.

It works in a northern accent.

 

[Baldseagull]

In a gents somewhere, many years ago.....................

Above the end urinal, next to the end wall: "Look left".
On the wall: "Look left again".
On the wall behind the user: "You are now pi$$ing down your left trouser leg".

(FWIW, I waited until I'd finished!)

One the left wall of a cubicle, "Toilet Tennis, see other wall for instructions" on the right wall of the cubicle, "Toilet Tennis, see other wall for instructions"

Took me a while to work it out.

 

[Justice]

Yup. If I found it I’d be pan frying its breast meat within the hour. Delicious.

I have an old T shirt with the slogan Kill it & Grill it, does not go down to well with Vegans.

 

[Van Cleef]

Saw this in Hastings today. No excuses people - you've been told!