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The scottish cow



£1.99

Well-known member
Mar 3, 2008
1,233
THE SCOTTISH COW

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.
Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply.

So, they brought the cow over from Scotland
It was absolutely wonderful,
It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows,
So they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but
Whenever the bull tried to mount the cow,
The cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried,
The cow would move away from the bull,
And he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to go to

The Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and
Ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this
Before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned
That they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:





"My wife is from Scotland"
 




£1.99

Well-known member
Mar 3, 2008
1,233
I called 999 last night to report two naked women fighting over me at my house. The operator responded with "Sir, I can't see any problem with that,you should be happy, what's wrong?", to which I replied "The fat one is winning"
 




KZNSeagull

Well-known member
Nov 26, 2007
21,101
Wolsingham, County Durham
THE SCOTTISH COW

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.
Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply.

So, they brought the cow over from Scotland
It was absolutely wonderful,
It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows,
So they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but
Whenever the bull tried to mount the cow,
The cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried,
The cow would move away from the bull,
And he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to go to

The Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and
Ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this
Before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned
That they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:





"My wife is from Scotland"

Blimey. That's one big Cracker you found that in.
 


catfish

North Stand Brighton Boy
Dec 17, 2010
7,677
Worthing
I shagged a mate's wife last night & now I feel awful....

She must have had the flu or something.
 


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