Twinkle Toes
Growing old disgracefully
No son, this is about an Englishman's right to defend his castle. Most of us generals are in semi retirement, too many banning orders and grief from her indoors if we get put inside again after a bit of bifters with the enemy. We don't go out to hurt the innocent, though there is always a bit of collateral damage when a turf issue has to be decided, just look at Dresden in 1944. At the same time if there's a mum pushing a pram into the middle of a ruck we would always try to call a quick cease fire, as some of us have kids, in fact we'd even probably give the little 'un a lollipop and a cheeky smile.
We wouldn't like our reputation to be sullied, and can put issues aside, like in the trenches in the Somme on Christmas Day in 1915. We would then return to duties with the appropriate geezer's implements, knuckledusters and bricks are fine, but no proper man carries a blade or a flame thrower these days, sentences are too long and we like snuggling up with the missus watching repeats of Only Fools and Horses on Dave too much.
The young fighting men are the problem, no respect, and too many fight like cowards. You wouldn't get the likes of Lancing Dennis, Scratchcard or Uncle Albert doing that, we know when to fight, and when to let civilians through a war zone.
God save the Queen.
Wow, you lot really are like our personal Fairy Godmothers! It's comforting to know that in those life-threatening afternoons when we go along to support our football club, your gallantry is only ever a heartbeat away.
You're the best!