The M&s Profits Slump Explained

[GUNTER]

So, profits were "considerably lower than expectations". Having just come back from M&S, I can explain why.

IT IS FULL OF OLD BIDDY'S AND OLD BOYS. About 70% of the people in the store were pensioners. At least 35% of those had WALKING STICKS

They get in your way by walking very slowly. Often, they only buy one or two items, but like to enjoy the "experience". Many of the stores still look dated.

M&S's customers are dying off!!

 

[CAFC Matt]

Marks and Spencer is too expensive to warrent purchasing their clothes

 

[Sorrel]

What they need to do is change the name, logo, store colours and goods. Then they might have a chance. Like the Tories, they're stuck with their "core" constituency, and are afraid to go too far in search of a new one.

 

[Rangdo]

But I thought we are an ageing population. That should suit their market shouldn't it?

 

[Uncle C]

I've always thought the problem with M&S was that women dont have the time to shop properly cause their blokes get pissed off waiting and hurry them out the store.

What M&S need is a recreation room for men. Football on a TV, car magazines, play stations etc. Wives would be told to take as much time as possible with their shopping.

Sorted.

 

[Superseagull]

Can I add pole dancers to your list of things you want in the mens recreation room? just a suggestion

 

[Beach Hut]

M & S is shit end of

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Yep. Never go near there.

*cough*

 

[Biscuit]

I love the old people who carry any old items in M & S or Harrods bags on the bus.

It makes them fele special.

 

[Lush]

I don't want to buy clothes in a place where old ladies shop.

Per una or no.

 

[The Large One]

The whole place smells of humbugs and wee-wee. And that's the food bit.

 

[GUNTER]

btw, I only went in to get a sandwich and a fruit salad. I don't dress in old mens slacks and aviator style shirts

 

[Vankleek Hill Seagull]

Their Blue Harbour range isn't too bad. I guess that's aimed more at the younger generation.

I'm in my mid 30's mind you.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

I don't recognise much of this - but then I only go to the Meadows one at Camberley and then usually not earlier than eight at night (it's a work thing).

M&S always does the business for me. With M&S and the Albion shop nearly all my clothing requirements are catered for.

M&S will always have it's knockers. And knickers.