[TV] The Apprentice 2023

[medwayseagull reborn]

The worst set of finalists ever. In previous series you could at least spot a couple of potential winners. Perhaps Sugar is losing it in his old age enabling him to throw his investment away.

 

[surrey jim]

Apologies if been mentioned previously [I skim read the thread and couldn't see]. Why this series have there been no big sales tasks. The last two weeks have [IMO] been very similar; create a product, brand it and sell to 'industry experts'.
In previous series they have had a big sales task week where teams were given one 'big ticket item' and several small items to sell, typically at trade shows/exhibitions. Always separated the wheat from the chaff.

 

[Napper]

Been a decent series despite the lack of decent skirt on view.

Sugars probably already seen the plans and knows his winner ( or his team have )

 

[Stato]

Apologies if been mentioned previously [I skim read the thread and couldn't see]. Why this series have there been no big sales tasks. The last two weeks have [IMO] been very similar; create a product, brand it and sell to 'industry experts'.
In previous series they have had a big sales task week where teams were given one 'big ticket item' and several small items to sell, typically at trade shows/exhibitions. Always separated the wheat from the chaff.

I'd guess because selling to 'industry experts' means that Waitrose, Pets at Home, Boots etc. offer their services for nothing to get free advertising on the BBC. Given the calibre of guests on the after show, I reckon that the programme is being made on a much tighter budget than previously.

The create a product tasks in particular are nothing to do with business and obviously designed to promote hilarious failure for a TV audience. Every time they are made to create a product and then do market research afterwards. What business would do that? It's utterly crazy.

- 'We made this, what do you think?'
-'It's terrible. I wouldn't buy it for all of these reasons.'
- 'Thanks for your input. We'll go away and not change a thing, because we already made it, branded it and came up with the marketing campaign yesterday.'
- 'Oh right, Did you at least do those things holistically?'
- 'No, we split into two groups that weren't allowed to discuss anything with each other until it was too late. We weren't even allowed to use the internet to do our own research. To be honest, we spent most of the time arguing with each other because, if we're not least worst, there will be a firing for whoever is most responsible for the failure.'
- 'Oh, the person who designed the task?'
-'No, for some reason, people presenting themselves as serious business players critique our performance in detail, but never reference the deliberately designed inherent faults in the process. Never mind - After weeks of slagging us off, they will tell us straight faced that we were all brilliant.'
- 'Right, so who wins the money?'
- 'The one whose business plan was to run a cake shop.'

 

[Stato]

Shame that the last couple of episodes of the Apprentice will have to be cancelled. There's obviously no way that the fiercely impartial BBC management will stand for Sugar's right wing views being all over Twitter. During last night's episode, my daughter was reading us the racist joke about Koreans and dogs that he tweeted.

 

[highflyer]

That's a pretty good idea actually.

I'm in.

I'm

Dear Lord Sugar,

Please could I be your business partner?

Yours sincerely, Jack Straw.View attachment 158130

I

 

[Motogull]

The old man said something genuinely funny this episode.

"Pro paw, more like piss poor."

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

He also said the PMs team were as confused as a baby on a topless beach.
Titters all round ...

 

[Weststander]

Been a decent series despite the lack of decent skirt on view.

Sugars probably already seen the plans and knows his winner ( or his team have )

This season. Sick of the sight of tree trunks in mini skirts.

 

[Badger Boy]

Anyone not excited by Victoria needs to have a serious word with themselves. She is a meek mouse in the Boardroom but I can only imagine her in a more private setting.

She rivals Yasmina for ultimate Apprentice totty for me. Big words.

 

[medwayseagull reborn]

Surely one of the business plans must be to do with selling lip fillers based on the appearance of the finalists.

 

[Simster]

All of them getting torn apart. They must be proper thick to miss out things like staff costs from business plans, or budget 90k for rent when the actual cost is 390k.

As a group, these are the shittest collection EVER.

 

[Weststander]

Dani

Probably a nice person, but doesn’t know the difference turnover and profit.


Plus the other idea of a kids cocktail bar by day, alcohol cocktail bar by evening, has been dreamt up just because no one else has and seems crazy.

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

All of them getting torn apart. They must be proper thick to miss out things like staff costs from business plans, or budget 90k for rent when the actual cost is 390k.

As a group, these are the shittest collection EVER.

Makes great tv though and gets people talking doesn't it? Viewing figures, that's all the Beeb are interested in.

 

[Weststander]

Makes great tv though and gets people talking doesn't it? Viewing figures, that's all the Beeb are interested in.

We still like it. Same as ever for us, the comedy.

 

[Normal Rob]

Did I miss something? Is Rochelle's business idea to open a chain of hair salons?

 

[Weststander]

Did I miss something? Is Rochelle's business idea to open a chain of hair salons?

A posh salon in Belgravia, the size of 3 parking spaces, with mega rent, service charges and rates obligations.

So the Bronx Gym will win.

 

[WhingForPresident]

Called it weeks ago that Marnie will win it by virtue of being the only one in the process that isn't thick as pig shit.

 

[Badger Boy]

I thought her from Wallace and Gromit was going through with Marnie so that showed me up. Megan was a bit unlucky I think - Rochelle is there due to experience rarher than business plan.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Marnie said that she had already secured over £350K of "investment" - she then admitted £50K of this money is a Bounce Back Loan, the purpose of which were purely to help businesses get through Covid. That's morally dubious at best.

Her company has been going for 4 years, she's -£16K in the red and no mention that there are 3 other directors of her company Bronx Boxing Ltd.

This year has been the worst. Such a predictable episode tonight - shit business plans, shit busineses, tears, unrealistic ambitions, cakes, sweets, hair extensions, more tears.