Terrible Valentines gifts

[The screamer]

So I'm sitting in the library (not) doing any work... I just earwigged into a conversation where a guy was talking about the box of cereal he's bought his loved one.
What truly crap presents have you ever brought for your loved one or what is the worst gift you could consider buying them?

No one is to say a palace ST.. we are talking about crap presents here not a car crash!

 

[Meade's Ball]

I got an email from Pizza Express earlier to say they had some Heart-Shaped Doughballs on offer to really impress one's bride-to-be. If my girlfriend had an IQ of 17 and weighed 34 stone, then i'd think about it. And, if i were flying solo, i'd get two plates for myself and taste them sorrowfully in the corner of one of their lounges munching mournfully at what might have been, my face awash with butterfat and tears and a splurt of ragu.

 

[Doc Lynam]

 

[Janbha]

I have been given a hoover , a ironing board cover , also though it was a birthday gift i was given a mini flymo , as at the time i only had a small garden ....... Men tsk .

 

[albion534]

A mix tape that ends with U2 - still haven't found what I'm looking for?

 

[The Stout Yeoman]

I've lovingly booked a table for 19:30 ... hope she doesnt mind that I take my own cue ....

 

[Benson]

T I bought my ex a new bag and belt for Valentine's day once.
She wasn't impressed, but the vacuum cleaner picked up a treat after . . .

 

[pasty]

My other half was complaining last year that I had an iPod, her daughter had an iPad and we both had an iPhone, but she had nothing like that. So I bought her a new iRon.

coat on and taxi ordered

 

[Bognor Bystander]

Ok the secateurs weren't that well received I'll grant you and luckily we now don't 'do' presents on Valentines Day so I'll take that as a moral victory...

 

[Return of the Rev]

 

[half time scores]

I gave my ex a tube of this stuff one year, told her it was the St Valentines day mascara.

 

[Tiger Barb]

I bought my wife a new iron one year ... She didn't seem very pleased :-(

 

[Hamilton]

Bizarre. I just flashed a glance at the tile of this thread and thought it read "Terry Venables Dies"