Two nuns riding their bikes to church, one says "I've never come this way before", the other replies "I know, it's the cobbles"
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Terrible jokes here please.
- Thread starter Brightonfan1983
- Start date
Captain Pugwash
Paul Kitson
A women is pregent with triplets in a bank, when a gunman comes in and fires 3 shots, they all hit her in the stomach but she and the babies are ok.
10 years later child 1 is having a wee and a bullet comes out, he runs down the stairs and says "mum, mum ive just had a bullet come out in my wee, whats happening to me?" the mum explains the story and the child is at ease.
child 2 has a poo later on that day and a bullet comes out, so he runs down the stairs and ask his mum why she is just about to answer until there is a big bang and child 3 runs down the stairs and says:
"Mum, mum, i've had a wank a shot the cat"
10 years later child 1 is having a wee and a bullet comes out, he runs down the stairs and says "mum, mum ive just had a bullet come out in my wee, whats happening to me?" the mum explains the story and the child is at ease.
child 2 has a poo later on that day and a bullet comes out, so he runs down the stairs and ask his mum why she is just about to answer until there is a big bang and child 3 runs down the stairs and says:
"Mum, mum, i've had a wank a shot the cat"
League1Champions
Banned
What have Man Utd and a 3-pin plug got in common?
Neither are much use in Europe.
Neither are much use in Europe.
Bevendean Hillbilly
New member
Two Leeds fans are in a cessna flying over the desert when the engine fails and they make a forced landing.
With no water and miles from anywhere they decide to try and walk out to safety, for days on end they crawl over sand dunes,and never see anything more than more miles of burning sand.
At the top of the highest dune yet they collapse, through blistered lips one says to the other.
"By eck lad, I can't go no further, Im done for"
His mate slumps next to him and says
"Aye, appen thats it fer us,... an' foockin United lost again"
"How do you know that when we've been out here for days?" says the first one.
"Fookin saturday int it."
With no water and miles from anywhere they decide to try and walk out to safety, for days on end they crawl over sand dunes,and never see anything more than more miles of burning sand.
At the top of the highest dune yet they collapse, through blistered lips one says to the other.
"By eck lad, I can't go no further, Im done for"
His mate slumps next to him and says
"Aye, appen thats it fer us,... an' foockin United lost again"
"How do you know that when we've been out here for days?" says the first one.
"Fookin saturday int it."
Lokki 7
WSU
Three pronged attack:
What do you call a man in a plastic coat?
Mac
What do you call a man in 3 plastic coats?
Max
What do you call a man in 3 plastic coats standing in a cemetary?
Max Bygraves
What do you call a man in a plastic coat?
Mac
What do you call a man in 3 plastic coats?
Max
What do you call a man in 3 plastic coats standing in a cemetary?
Max Bygraves
bhaexpress
New member
League1Champions said:
More use than Leeds.
jevs
Well-known member
Irish police today announced the country's worst air crash as a twin seater Cesna went down in a Dublin cemetery.
Rescue workers have so far recovered 1,289 bodies and expect numbers to rise as digging continues into the night
Rescue workers have so far recovered 1,289 bodies and expect numbers to rise as digging continues into the night
jevs
Well-known member
What do you call a spider without any legs
A currant
________________________________________
What do you call a sheep without any legs
A cloud
A currant
________________________________________
What do you call a sheep without any legs
A cloud
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
jevs said:What do you call a spider without any legs
A currant
________________________________________
What do you call a sheep without any legs
A cloud
On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
On the second part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
On the third part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
On the fourth part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
You see Ive been through the desert on a horse with no legs...
Bevendean Hillbilly
New member
Life...Rocks..
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
Bevendean Hillbilly said:Life...Rocks..
Hey, it was 1972. Everyone was on drugs back then...
Jam The Man
Well-known member
Two parrots sitting on a perch. One says to the other...
"Do you smell fish?"
"Do you smell fish?"