Stadium Plans down the Toilet?

[Gilliver's Travels]

Brighton and Hove Albion's hopes of building a stadium at Falmer suffered a fresh blow today, when a government spokesman revealed why Communities Secretary Hazel Blears was urgently reconsidering granting permission. This follows the shock discovery that several of the toilets planned for the stadium‘s East Stand would be facing Mecca.

A club spokesman commented: "This could well be viewed as a calculated insult to the entire Muslim population of Brighton and Hove (Mr Norman Al Bakkar of Bevendean). The last thing anyone would want is Martin Perry and Dick Knight living under threat of a fatwa from his Excellency the Grand Mufti of Moulsecoomb. It certainly looks like back to the drawing board for us!"

From his secret hiding place somewhere near Brighton's North Road, Martin Perry said: "We had specified that the toilets should be facing either Selhurst Park or Bill Archer's former home in Mellor, Lancashire. Heads will roll for this, but hopefully not mine! I'm still hoping we might reach a compromise in toilet etiquette, whereby lady fans would accept the culturally sensitive necessity to sit side-saddle. Male supporters would be required to look the other way and piss over their left shoulder.”

 

[Hiney]

Worst wind-up ever

 

[Yorkie]

Easy 10's crown is safe.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Except I am sure that Falmer would rather Salt of the Earth Brits than Muslims. Perhaps we can threaten to put a mosque there if the application is to be rejected...? How would Falmer residents cope with...mmmmmm....mmmmmm.....Muslims!?

 

[HampshireSeagulls]

Hit the punch line way, way too early. The Mecca bit should have been saved until last. League 2 compared to Easy 10's Premiership windups.

 

[Al Bion]

Funny though

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Shurely that should be "Down the Khazi"?

 

[clapham_gull]

Seeing as the break even figure attendance for the stadium will have risen due to the increased costs of construction, I suspect Dick will now have to work hard to attract those who are strangely drawn to Mecca Bingo on a Saturday afternoon.

 

[Seagullible]

poor

 

[dwayne]

twat

 

[NMH]

I was made glad that I read only up to the word 'Mecca', when I finally relented and read the rest of the post. This underlined my correct decision to not read the rest of the post. Phew, that was close, I almost wasted more minutes of my life

 

[Gilliver's Travels]

Hit the punch line way, way too early. The Mecca bit should have been saved until last. League 2 compared to Easy 10's Premiership windups.

Different branches of comedy. Easy 10's are indeed 'wind-ups'. And very funny for that. This one is a pastiche - a clearly fake news story from start. Anyone who reads Private Eye will understand the difference.

 

[Yoda]

A kind 4/10

 

[mona]

Different branches of comedy. Easy 10's are indeed 'wind-ups'. And very funny for that. This one is a pastiche - a clearly fake news story from start. Anyone who reads Private Eye will understand the difference.

Private Eye is an anti-stadium organ. The periodical equivalent of a Forfar sausage roll.

 

[the wanderbus]

Probably not the best wind up but at least one idea should find its way onto the stadium plans

 

[Soul Finger]

Conference South