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Sport Relief : How long before a celeb dies ?



vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,274
I'm starting to get rather tired of the ultimate boundary pushing challenges that presenters and minor celebs have to go through in the name of Sport Relief. Someone bent double retching saying the same old quotes along the lines of " I have never felt so exhausted in my life/ I thought I was going to die/ I never realised the enormity of the challenge"

It started with someone peddling a rickshaw 200 miles and then have Walliams swim The Channel but now its getting too overboard. I just had a little earburn of Alex Jones from the One Show having to climb a cliff and she is seen either bricking it or milking it for all its worth. As for poor old Davina I'm fed up of her being carried in and out of water blubbing. Where will it end ? We have to better it each time, can we send Graham Norton to swim the Piranha infested sections of The Amazon ?
 




Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
25,519
Worthing
I'd like to see Noël Edmunds beaten with stick for sport relief.
Although not strictly a sport I am sure it would raise money.
 


I'm starting to get rather tired of the ultimate boundary pushing challenges that presenters and minor celebs have to go through in the name of Sport Relief. Someone bent double retching saying the same old quotes along the lines of " I have never felt so exhausted in my life/ I thought I was going to die/ I never realised the enormity of the challenge"

It started with someone peddling a rickshaw 200 miles and then have Walliams swim The Channel but now its getting too overboard. I just had a little earburn of Alex Jones from the One Show having to climb a cliff and she is seen either bricking it or milking it for all its worth. As for poor old Davina I'm fed up of her being carried in and out of water blubbing. Where will it end ? We have to better it each time, can we send Graham Norton to swim the Piranha infested sections of The Amazon ?

I am unable to participate in any such physical challenges, much as I would like to, as I suffer from indolence.

It does appear now that unless fund raising combines extreme masochism then it is somehow not worthy. Youngest Potting's school has some parents doing a 10km run for fund raising shortly. Not content with just running, these events now feel the need to involve mud, barbed wire and a degree of physical risk. Another acquaintance of ours did a similar event last year. It to involved large quantities of mud, water and discomfort and culminated in her impaling her leg on a submerged piece of metal and an A & E visit. She seemed to still view the event as a huge laugh rather than the (to me) more rational attitude of "b*gger that for a lark, I am sticking to sponsored walks in future".
 


vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,274
I am unable to participate in any such physical challenges, much as I would like to, as I suffer from indolence.

It does appear now that unless fund raising combines extreme masochism then it is somehow not worthy. Youngest Potting's school has some parents doing a 10km run for fund raising shortly. Not content with just running, these events now feel the need to involve mud, barbed wire and a degree of physical risk. Another acquaintance of ours did a similar event last year. It to involved large quantities of mud, water and discomfort and culminated in her impaling her leg on a submerged piece of metal and an A & E visit. She seemed to still view the event as a huge laugh rather than the (to me) more rational attitude of "b*gger that for a lark, I am sticking to sponsored walks in future".

It seems that 100 years after the calamity of World War One, people like you are expected to run through mud and barbed wire yet again, just to help fund a school. have we learned nothing ?
 


Barrel of Fun

Abort, retry, fail
I'd like to see Girls Aloud/Saturdays combo take on B*Witched/Spice Girls combo in a 24 hour match of naked Kabaddi.

I think I'd probably die as a result of exhaustion.
 
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seagullsovergrimsby

#cpfctinpotclub
Aug 21, 2005
43,950
Crap Town
John Noakes during his Blue Peter days often performed risky challenges and stunts which now wouldn't be sanctioned due to H&S considerations.
 


vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,274
John Noakes during his Blue Peter days often performed risky challenges and stunts which now wouldn't be sanctioned due to H&S considerations.

I believe that he found out he was not even insured by the BBC and was horrified.
 


Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,886
I was horrified to see Davina McCall disgracing the entire cover of my Saturday Guardian magazine with the headline 'From Heroin to Heroine.' I would expect that from The Times, but the ****ing Guardian! I almost accidentally swallowed my locally sourced freetrade freerange organic veggie ice pop in one go at the sight of that irritating bitch staring out at me from the cover.
 




happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
8,184
Eastbourne
I'd like to see Noël Edmunds beaten with stick for sport relief.
Although not strictly a sport I am sure it would raise money.

I'm in for £50 for that. I also have a stick you can use (it has nails banged in it and I'll smear dog shit on it for free)
 




hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,773
Chandlers Ford
I'd like to see Girls Aloud/Saturdays combo take on B*Witched/Spice Girls combo in a 24 hour match of naked Kabaddi.

I think I'd probably die as a result of exhaustion.

So you can work out which of them is best at holding their breath? Cunning. Very cunning.
 






hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,773
Chandlers Ford
I'll be (working) at the Olympic velodrome on Friday night. If Olly Murs comes off on the high bend and breaks his neck, I'll be sure to let you all know.
 








goldstone

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 5, 2003
7,183
The whole of this charity lark linked to the BBC drives me mad. Sports Relief? Who gives a flying fook? Look, if you want to give to charity, give to charity. Don't go "sponsoring" some stupid "celebrity" who is really only trying to raise his/her profile. That Welsh woman from the One Show is a good example. Climbing some rock in Utah! Why Utah? We have rocks in this country. And who the hell cares if she's scared of heights? It all stinks. Rant over ... for the moment.
 


Freddie Goodwin.

Well-known member
Mar 31, 2007
7,186
Brighton
I believe the Japanese can be very inventive at this kind of torture, i mean fundraising.
 








Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,386
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