[Help] Some personal news and then reflection for all

[timbha]

To add, my old man was (I now can clearly see) 'on the spectrum' (like me) so we never got on, and never would. RIP Reg. Dad. x

I love this post

 

[hart's shirt]

So we all have that special someone who introduced us to the club and it would be great if people could share their memories of the who, what, where, why and when of it here as it would certainly help me get over how utterly lost I’m feeling now.

Firstly, let me say how sorry I am to hear of your loss, BT. Things will get easier in time, but allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve and mourn. As other have said, he sounds like a terrific guy who loved the beautiful game as well as being a great Dad.


My father was the first one to take me along to the Goldstone as a 7 year old.

28th April 1979
Brighton 2 Blackburn 1

He worked for British Telecom in Churchill Square and won the fortnightly raffle prize for a couple of seats in the West Stand.

It was truly an epiphany, I was hooked and clearly in hindsight it was a great time to start supporting the Albion!

In the 80s, we'd often sit in the South Stand sharing a large Rum and Raisin Yorkie. When we couldn't get seats, we'd stand on the terraces as he'd made me a little wooden stool to stand on down the front and see over the wall.

Dad got me into the Junior Seagulls and I ended up playing 5 a side as well as being an Albion ball boy. There's a few of us on here...

We saw a lot together - Smith almost scoring before Ryan and Connor did, Graham Taylor's Watford ripping us to pieces, the Seagull Special train to Peterborough with special red scarves and an especially treacherous pitch, Notts County disappointment, joy in Cardiff, season tickets complete with ponchos for the Withdean rain (just hearing the word Rochdale still makes me shiver in more ways than one...), Watson to Zamora freekicks, Cheaterfield brown envelopes, and so much more.

Dad's had it tough over the last few years - firstly, the passing of his mother who brought him up in a single-parent family in Boscombe in the 1930s when society didn't make it easy for mothers where the fathers had walked out. His eldest son, my brother, died suddenly and unexpectedly back in 2009 which really hit him hard. And my mother has been struggling with Parkinson's (now Stage 4) for the last 10 or so years. To watch his wife of 56 years needing care for basic living has been tough. As a former engineer, the concept of admitting that he can't find a solution for something that's out of his control has probably been one of the hardest things to come to terms with. He's had a recent history of mental health issues including suicide pact ideas, but has benefited greatly from regular psychological visits from Social Services both before and after lockdown. To misquote the footballing cliché, he's taking each day as it comes.

But at the age of 87, he still loves his football and is as opinionated as ever. (My recent description of Bournemouth as a yo-yo team was countered with both fatherly correction and eye-rolling derision!) It's fitting that I write this in the hours following Bournemouth's promotion. I know that 'Plucky' have their critics on NSC, but that was his local team growing up in Boscombe! In 1956, he saw Division 3 South Bournemouth and Boscombe Athletic beat Wolves (with England captain Billy Wright) and Danny Blanchflower's Spurs. They went out in the 5th Round by the odd goal to Manchester United made up of many of the Busby Babes. After doing 2 years National Service in the RAF, he worked up in London during the 60s and would go to watch Spurs one week and either Chelsea or Fulham the next. He remembers Jimmy Greaves signing for Spurs from AC Milan for £99,999 and went specifically to see his Spurs debut when he scored a hat-trick! Away from football, he loves his cricket - life member at Hampshire and Sussex. It was great to see him head down to the County Ground last week for the first time in 3 years. As bad as Sussex have been recently, that'll help if only in realizing that things could be worse!


So BT, in sharing a little about my Dad, I hope it's of comfort to you at this time as you think about yours.

Dads, Mums or whoever first introduced us to the Albion and the beautiful game, we salute you.

If we have loved football further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.

It truly sounds like your Dad was one.

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

Sadly I lost my dad on Sunday after a short and intense hospital stay that deteriorated swiftly.

He had many many faults but he was also the person who introduced me to the Albion. A league cup first round home defeat to Gillingham in 87 being my first game. He was heard ushering the phrase “well that should cure him” to my mum when we got home. But it didn’t. And how could it?

The one mainstay between us over the last 34 years. We’d argue about players, laws of the game, the game’s modernisation and hopelessness etc of all of our managers over the years - yes including Potter who infuriated my dad by ‘never picking the same XI twice’ but we always bonded over our love for the club.

Thankyou Dad for that first trip, for the endless away games, for living in the midlands and coming back to Brighton to pick my cousin and I up, drive us to Gillingham, then back to Brighton and then you back home to the midlands and for many other countless ludicrous episodes of fandom between us over the years.

So we all have that special someone who introduced us to the club and it would be great if people could share their memories of the who, what, where, why and when of it here as it would certainly help me get over how utterly lost I’m feeling now.

Many thanks for sharing your memories with us all.

R.I.P. Barham Senior.

 

[Ludensian Gull]

Sorry to hear this sad news BT , sounds like your dad was a great guy who went out of his way to get you to the Albion and share his experiences with you. Remember all the good times together.

 

[juliant]

Sorry for your loss

My Dad also got me to bleed blue and white. He had (still has) an electrical shop on Blatchington Road. I would go to work with him on a saturday and he shut the shop at 1. We would have some lunch then walk up to the Goldstone ground for the game.

From then on i was hooked.

Sadly at 83 hes also starting to go downhill but i will always love him that extra bit more for introducing me to the Albion

 

[Brovion]

Sadly I lost my dad on Sunday after a short and intense hospital stay that deteriorated swiftly.

He had many many faults but he was also the person who introduced me to the Albion. A league cup first round home defeat to Gillingham in 87 being my first game. He was heard ushering the phrase “well that should cure him” to my mum when we got home. But it didn’t. And how could it?

The one mainstay between us over the last 34 years. We’d argue about players, laws of the game, the game’s modernisation and hopelessness etc of all of our managers over the years - yes including Potter who infuriated my dad by ‘never picking the same XI twice’ but we always bonded over our love for the club.

Thankyou Dad for that first trip, for the endless away games, for living in the midlands and coming back to Brighton to pick my cousin and I up, drive us to Gillingham, then back to Brighton and then you back home to the midlands and for many other countless ludicrous episodes of fandom between us over the years.

So we all have that special someone who introduced us to the club and it would be great if people could share their memories of the who, what, where, why and when of it here as it would certainly help me get over how utterly lost I’m feeling now.

Really sorry for your loss. Unlike you I have no one special who introduced me to the Albion, if I have to 'blame' one individual it would be a classmate of mine at primary school, Brian Othen, who took me to my first Brighton game in about February/March 1966 soon after I'd moved to Lancing. I was 8. We went with some older boys .... they were 9. No adults! (Can you imagine that now? At the time no one batted an eyelid). Sadly as he got older Brian went well off the rails. The last time I saw him was after the West Ham home game the season we got promoted to the old Division 1. He'd morphed into a West Ham fan and was standing in the train back to Lancing offering to fight everybody. He was wearing a full-face balaclava with eye/nose/mouth holes but I still recognised him.

Anyway, thanks Brian. If I'd had followed my Dad I'd have been a Palace fan! When he died my best friend (who also knew him well), in an attempt to cheer me up said: "Look on the bright side - at least there's one less Palace fan in the world!" Actually it did make me laugh!

Sorry again for your loss, and I hope you don't think this post is too flippant.

 

[surrey jim]

Sorry for your loss

 

[blockhseagull]

I bullied my dad to take me to the Albion

He was from Purley and had no connection to the club and didn’t support them, but he gave in and took me to my first game in 85. Within 18 months we had season tickets in the South Stand at the Goldstone and remained season ticket holders until we moved to Gillingham. He worked shifts but would often work a night shift and then take me to the Albion on a Saturday before going back to work.

Converted him to an Albion fan and in fact it was him that badgered me to get season tickets when we moved back to the Withdean and subsequently to the Amex. Due to his health he had to give up his season ticket the summer before our promotion season so never got to see us in person reach the PL. He sadly passed away just over a year ago, but without him I’d never have got into football at such a young age and enjoyed so many days out with him over the years.

 

[dejavuatbtn]

It would be nice to think that my kids will be as appreciative as you for bringing them up right. Thoughts are with you - I lost my mum recently but she is still with me in spirit. She would have given me my first sixpence to watch the reserves back in the day.

 

[Wilko]

Today is three years since I lost my Dad, many older fans on here may know him- Clive Wilkin. All I can say is that time is a great healer, though on days like today it all comes back and the pain is still there. My Dad introduced me to the Albion and for that I am forever thankful.

 

[zefarelly]

Sorry to hear. Lost my dad about three years ago in similar circumstances, don’t be surprised to find yourself very often reflecting on your time together.[/QUOTE]

This is so true ….barely a day goes by when I havnt thought about my Dad since he passed last June

My Dad went in 2004 . . . helped me build my race car . . . . even though its been rebuilt again since there's a bit of him there every time I use it. I still have his overalls in the workshop. only for special occasions.

 

[dazzer6666]

My Dad went in 2004 . . . helped me build my race car . . . . even though its been rebuilt again since there's a bit of him there every time I use it. I still have his overalls in the workshop. only for special occasions.

Similarly I’ve got all my dad’s fishing gear. Much of it is absolute shite he continually bought on ebay or Amazon and hid in the shed so my mum didn’t know about it, but there are a few decent bits I’m using.

 

[zefarelly]

Similarly I’ve got all my dad’s fishing gear. Much of it is absolute shite he continually bought on ebay or Amazon and hid in the shed so my mum didn’t know about it, but there are a few decent bits I’m using.

I've got a LOT of tools . . . fortunately most of them goood . . . and 2 compressors, and 3 welders

my step Dads giving me his stuff now . . . . I've never even been to Aldi, honest!

 

[Green Cross Code Man]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. Sounds like a great dad. Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[Hamilton]

My Uncle introduced me to the club in 1977. I wouldn’t say he was a ‘special someone’ but he was a character.

I hope that when my Dad dies he doesn’t accompany me to all the games - he doesn’t like football!

If however, I ever get into railway modeling…





…then shoot me!

(Bless him)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[joydivisionovengloves]

I had and have no relationship with my father he is an utter *******. The only time that stopped was when we went to The Goldstone. Always tempered by the journey home and the knowledge that life would go back to normal.

 

[zamora the merrier]

So sorry to hear of your loss BT. RIP

I lost my dad suddenly last July and time does heal (albeit slowly) - you need to take time for yourself.

He took me to my first match and was pretty much an ever present in my 50 years since I first watched the Albion. So many memories from him carrying a milk crate down the Old Shoreham road for me to stand on the East Terrace, the Ward glory years (his favourite ever player), the old Division1 (he missed the first game v Arsenal as he played cricket - bad fan!). He strangely loved the Withdean (proper football) and deep down also loved the Amex era. Albion through and through

This season has been hard especially when Sussex by the Sea plays as the teams come out - gets me every time but it gets easier

 

[rippleman]

Sorry to hear of your loss fella.

Sadly my dad had no interest in football so he got one of his workmates to take me in the early days.

Dad only came to football with me once and that was when I won tickets to the Director's Box in a Radio Brighton competition. I can't remember when the game was or who it was against. I just remember being there - for the first and last time - with my dad.

I can remember taking my son to his first game; an evening match in a half empty NS when he proceeded to stand with his back to the pitch watching the antics of the crowd and stuffing burgers and hotdogs down his neck.

 

[joydivisionovengloves]

I had and have no relationship with my father he is an utter *******. The only time that stopped was when we went to The Goldstone. Always tempered by the journey home and the knowledge that life would go back to normal.

 

[Rambo]

Sorry to hear of your loss.
Losing your Dad is horrible, I lost mine a year and a half ago. Life without them is never the same.

Remember the good times.
All the best.