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Soccer Sucks







Bevendean Hillbilly

New member
Sep 4, 2006
12,805
Nestling in green nowhere
:lol:


"France are good at soccer, that should prove that Soccer Sucks- especially to the British."
 






Robot Chicken

Seriously?
Jul 5, 2003
13,154
Chicken World
From: Nakia Pearson <theeastsidemafia@hotmail.com>
To: by_sending_this_email_i_agree_that_soccer_sucks@soccersucks.net
Subject: Soccer
Date: 03/06/2003

I absolutely LOVE this website. I don't necessarily hate the game, but i do agree that it is the most insane form of torture that one can sit through. One big problem that I have is the claims of idiots who allege that American sports are inferior to soccer. Well, here's a breakdown for all of you.

10 REASONS WHY ANY SPORT,ESPECIALLY FOOTBALL, IS BETTER THAN SOCCER.

1.Soccer (and yes,I have played) is for the AVERAGE athlete (or below average...whatever). You don't have to be fast or big or coordinated or smart. Actually, you simply have to be alive in order to play effectively. Soccer players are usually the guys who couldn't make the cut in other sports. The fastest soccer player in the Premier League of ANY country would get toasted by the fastest man in the NFL. No contest.

2.The reason why football players wear protective gear is because they are BIGGER, STRONGER, and FASTER than rugby and soccer players. If you know anything about physics, you'd realize that if someone like Ray Lewis hit anyone in rugby or soccer at full speed without protective gear, he'd most likely KILL them. The protective gear in the NFL is necessary to protect life, not because of weakness. Soccer players cry when they trip over another player.

3.The co-ordination and endurance in football players is light years beyond the co-ordination in soccer players. Soccer is stop and go, and to say that it requires superior endurance is akin to using stupidity as a defense. Anyone who knows soccer knows that the 11 players are divided into strikers/forwards, midfielders, and defenders. All units are never engaged in the play at the same time at any point. When the forwards attack the opposing goal, midfielders provide support, and defenders are further back RESTING. Vice versa when the defenders are defending, the forwards are RESTING upfield waiting for the ball to be cleared to them. Midfielders do the most work (which isn't much anyway). Football requires EVERYONE to
co-ordinate an attack that capitalises on one units strengths to expose and take advantage of the other unit's weaknesses in order to beat the opposition, much like a battlefield.

4. Soccer goalies have it easy. Because of it's design and weight, a soccer ball traveling (and let's use that ABSURD 98mph referance) at 98mph wouldn't have the ability to do much more than SEVERELY STING if it makes contact with someone's head. A basketball travelling at that same rate would cause a severe concussion under the same circumstances. If you can't figure the results of a puck,baseball, or football under the same circumstances, you're just stupid. I'd rather have Roberto Carlos fire a penalty kick at my head than have Randy Johnson fire a fastball at my head ANY DAY!!!

5.All pro sports have groupies....female fans etc. The ones linked to soccer just happen to be ugly. Example? Chris Webber of the NBA dates Tyra Banks, Sergei Federov of the NHL was once married to Anna Kournikova, Derek Jeter of MLB once dated Mariah Carey.........David Beckham? He married one of the freakin' Spice Girls. What's scarier is that british people think that she's attractive. Go figure.

6.I love the inference that pro football players (or any american pro athlete for that matter) is illiterate, uneducated, and involved in drug abuse. I have 2 words for all of you: Diego Marradona, who, coincidentally, had to CHEAT in order to win the World Cup.

7.Soccer is the "Most popular sport(?) in the world simply because it's the LEAST expensive to play. All one has to do is look at the economic status of most countries worldwide to understand that. Hell, if you have 5 rocks or five cans (4 to make each goal and one to kick) then you've got a game!
Soccer isn't popular because it gained acceptance, soccer is popular because most countries, underdeveloped or otherwise, HAD NO CHOICE but to accept it. Just to prove how ridiculous that argument is, people were running competetively long before soccer originated, so why isn't marathon running or sprinting(individual or relay) the most popular sports in the world?

8. The violent influences of soccer: Saddam Hussein torturing the Iraqi World Cup team after their loss to the U.S., fans killing fans in England and Ireland during and after games, fans killing referees after their team loses.....and you say football is violent?

9. To all of you IDIOTS who talk about the commercial aspect of american football, you must be too damn drunk and high to have noticed the sideline banners and the players jersey's during a premiership game.

10. I'm gonna finish this off by defending basketball. A basketball is bigger than a soccerball, yet the net/goal is smaller(18 inches in diameter). A soccer goal is 8 feet tall and eight yards wide. Now, somebody explain to me how a Pro basketball player can shoot a basketball from up to 25 feet out through an 18 inch-wide hole, yet the best of soccer players have trouble consistantly kicking a ball into a 192 square foot net? 192 SQUARE FEET!!!!!!! Who's un-coordinated?????

When you soccer lovers can find me a soccer player faster than Terrell Owens, stronger than Ray Lewis, bigger than Michael Strahan, with more coordination than Marshall Faulk and more heart than Brett Favre, then you can compare the sport and the athletes to the NFL. British people are just mad because the smart ones came over on the Mayflower.

Words of wisdom: purchase a "Hooked on Phonics" program, learn how to spell "ASS", and try to produce athletes better than Eddie "The Eagle". On the positive side, you English make one hell of a muffin!!!
 




Superphil

Dismember
Jul 7, 2003
25,797
In a pile of football shirts
Like this one

"Penalty kicks. You are determining a winner by a random event that has no relevance to the rest of the game. It would be as stupid as replacing extra innings with batting practice."
 


Yoda

English & European
No wonder the Yanks are FAT.

"A sport is defined by dictionary.com as a "physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively."

Soccer is not a physical activity, because it does not use the entirety of the body. It could be considered a physical activity by an amputee who lost both arms. Until soccer finally tests a person's upper torso, it is not a physical activity. Would you consider someone to be physically attractive if their upper torso was extremely ugly? No"
 


Djmiles

Barndoor Holroyd
Dec 1, 2005
12,066
Kitchener, Canada
"Soccer is stop and go"

Don't American Football game last for something like 3-4 hours? Why? Because the fat idiots stop every 5 seconds to take a donut break, that's why.
 




SNOOBS

New member
Feb 25, 2007
4,015
Brighton
That actually quite annoyed me just after I've said NFL is alright. Americans are an absolute bunch of ****s tbph.
 


"This dude grew a ponytail because he didn't want anybody to read his name".

soccer_hair_49.jpg







A fair comment.
 






Captain Haddock

Active member
Aug 2, 2005
2,130
The Deep Blue Sea
Love the basketball / 'soccerball' comparison on the e-mail copied above. Pure gold from residents from the country who thinks World News is where U.S citizens are caught up in accidents / disasters elsewhere; and the Iraq War only.

Gotta love their enthusiasm for ignorance too...apparently we and the Irish kill each other (OJ Simpson, anyone?)....and we think Posh Spice is attractive, eh? :lol::lol::lol:
 


Nicky Rust

New member
Jan 3, 2008
120
Hove
What is soccer? American rugby is shite!! who plays and watches it apart from the U.S? Its not half as tough as REAL rugby where helmets, shoulder pads, gloves, willy protectors, bum pads, leg pads etc are NOT required!
Americans are so over protective can you imagine what they would do to football?
Time out every time the whistles blown, advertisements all over the pitch, extremely aggresive goal celebrations, defenders wearing cricket pads!, commentators explanning the game like it were a horse race, mascots having punch-ups, full backs being called quarter backs, Players crying at the press conferenceses after losing! and the horrible name of soccer taking over from the obvious name of football!.
 
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Djmiles

Barndoor Holroyd
Dec 1, 2005
12,066
Kitchener, Canada
What is soccer? American rugby is shite!! who plays and watches it apart from the U.S? Its not half as tough as REAL rugby where helmets, shoulder pads, gloves, willy protectors, bum pads, leg pads etc are NOT required!
Americans are so over protective can you imagine what they would do to football?
Time out every time the whistles blown, advertisements all over the pitch, extremely aggresive goal celebrations, defenders wearing cricket pads!, commentators explanning the game like it were a horse race, mascots having punch-ups, full backs being called quarter backs, Players crying at the press conferenceses after losing! and the horrible name of soccer taking over from the obvious name of football!.

And they would scrap the 2 halves in favour of QUARTERS. Lazy bastards.
 




Collar Feeler

No longer feeling collars
Jul 26, 2003
1,322
They are right though, Soccer, the sport bearing a passing resemblance to Football and played exclusively in America is shite. The superior version of the game which is called Football on the other hand is played in Europe. Easy mistake to make for your average Yank.

Me, I'd rather eat Hep C infected rusty razor blades than be subjected to anything the Americans pass off as sport. I was once forced to endure an entire college American football game and was so bored I started counting Fat people, there were too many of them so I had to limit it to Obese people, again there were far too many of them too so I had to change it to morbidly obese people, alas this also proved impossible so i settled on morbidly obese mullet headed people of which there were several thousand.
 


Da Man Clay

T'Blades
Dec 16, 2004
16,303
What is soccer? American rugby is shite!! who plays and watches it apart from the U.S? Its not half as tough as REAL rugby where helmets, shoulder pads, gloves, willy protectors, bum pads, leg pads etc are NOT required!
Americans are so over protective can you imagine what they would do to football?
Time out every time the whistles blown, advertisements all over the pitch, extremely aggresive goal celebrations, defenders wearing cricket pads!, commentators explanning the game like it were a horse race, mascots having punch-ups, full backs being called quarter backs, Players crying at the press conferenceses after losing! and the horrible name of soccer taking over from the obvious name of football!.

You are talking utter shite, having played both to a decent standard I got hurt much more in american football.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
I think the problem with American sports is that it is such a money making, commercial whirlwind that only the very best kids are chosen and allowed to play at school. It makes sense that only the best should play in big leagues but kids who are not that great don't even get to play much sport at school. All the focus is on excellence to produce money making sportsmen. I can see this happening in Britain too.
 


Soul Finger

Well-known member
May 12, 2004
2,302
They are right though, Soccer, the sport bearing a passing resemblance to Football and played exclusively in America is shite. The superior version of the game which is called Football on the other hand is played in Europe. Easy mistake to make for your average Yank.

Me, I'd rather eat Hep C infected rusty razor blades than be subjected to anything the Americans pass off as sport. I was once forced to endure an entire college American football game and was so bored I started counting Fat people, there were too many of them so I had to limit it to Obese people, again there were far too many of them too so I had to change it to morbidly obese people, alas this also proved impossible so i settled on morbidly obese mullet headed people of which there were several thousand.

:lol: Brilliant,
 






Kinky Gerbil

Im The Scatman
NSC Patron
Jul 16, 2003
58,874
hassocks
The "World" Cup is not the a World's Cup, but a competition among 32 countries, disproportionately allotted to European countries.


rather than one nation you mean?
 


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