So who has just had to explain to their 4/5 year olds.......

[Lord Bracknell]

When my oldest kid was four, we went to inspect our local Church of England primary school (in fact the only primary school within five miles) to check it out, before young Master Bracknell enrolled. The very prim and proper head mistress volunteered her approach to sex education by explaining that "most of the children round here come from families who work on farms. We don't have to tell them anything about sex that they don't know already".

My advice to HB&B ... buy a couple of bunny rabbits.

 

[Acker79]

For those of us not watching, what was said and by whom?

Rowan Atkinson did a skit as the new archbishop of Canterbury. Said something about shagging, and how jesus was ok with swearing, except the F word that also means shagging.

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

When my oldest kid was four, we went to inspect our local Church of England primary school (in fact the only primary school within five miles) to check it out, before young Master Bracknell enrolled. The very prim and proper head mistress volunteered her approach to sex education by explaining that "most of the children round here come from families who work on farms. We don't have to tell them anything about sex that they don't know already".

My advice to HB&B ... buy a couple of bunny rabbits.

I think you forgot to mention to HB&B he needs to buy a boy bunny rabbit and a girl bunny rabbit

 

[Acker79]

Peter Kay also getting in on the pre-watershed swearing. His skit is about his 'sit down for comic relief'. Inspired by David Walliams simming, and eddie izzard's marathons, he is going to sit from belfast to london. Andis on a couch being pulled by various people, he warned one to look out for dog poop.

 

[Deleted User X18H]

I think you forgot to mention to HB&B he needs to buy a boy bunny rabbit and a girl bunny rabbit

Is that a dig at me living in Brighton? Are you a homophobe?

 

[sparkie]

When players and officials get subjected to a certain chant at the AMEX, it's always amusing when the kids chant 'wake up, wake up, wake up'

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Is that a dig at me living in Brighton? Are you a homophobe?

Err ...

Let me explain something that you could have learned from the writings of Christopher Isherwood ...

Some boys shag boys.

And some shags like buoys.

 

[Norman Potting]

When I lived in South Carolina there'd always be posters up advertising 'Shag on the Beach' and similar. People couldn't understand why I kept chuckling

The band Alabama even wrote a song about it - Mrs P and I were in stitches whenever we heard it on the radio during our Southern States road trip in '97 - happy days!

And here it is...........

 

[Norman Potting]

When players and officials get subjected to a certain chant at the AMEX, it's always amusing when the kids chant 'wake up, wake up, wake up'

- Youngest Potting hasn't yet worked out what some rude people shout when the opposition keeper hoofs the ball - she is convince that it is "Yoshi - eeeeugh"

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

Is that a dig at me living in Brighton? Are you a homophobe?

No , it was just to save you taking back one of the bunny rabbits to Pets At Home for an exchange

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Have you really got a four year old offspring?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

My mother explained the c word to me when I was seven (and I tried it on in boggle).

I am sure you will come up with something partially viable.

Percy Sledge - When a man loves a woman - JazzAndBluesExperience - YouTube

 

[GT49er]

The common cormorant or shag
Lays eggs inside a paper bag.
The reason you will see no doubt
It is to keep the lightning out,
But what these unobservant birds
Have never noticed is that herds
Of wandering bears may come with buns
And steal the bags to hold the crumbs.

Christopher Isherwood



You may, of course, have to tell your kids more about Mr Isherwood. Good luck with that.

Beat me to it! Love that poem (and so did my kids).

 

[chimneys]

Suggest none of you offended take your kids to Amex or away until they are 18 if you cant handle that.Ban them from NSC as well.

Hope none of you have ever profaned at a footie game!

 

[smeariestbat]

- Youngest Potting hasn't yet worked out what some rude people shout when the opposition keeper hoofs the ball - she is convince that it is "Yoshi - eeeeugh"

actually, i believe you'll find its 'your sheep baaaaaaaa'

 

[maglers]

actually, i believe you'll find its 'your sheep baaaaaaaa'

No, no it's "boom chigga aaaaaaah".

And when an opposition player from a team even slightly north of us makes a particularly bad tackle the youngest Maglers shouts: "You dirty bowl of custard."

 

[wellquickwoody]

Suggest none of you offended take your kids to Amex or away until they are 18 if you cant handle that.Ban them from NSC as well.

Hope none of you have ever profaned at a footie game!

Football match v BBC television top 10 annual family event. At one of these gigs I expect to hear non stop profanity, at the other I expect the stewards to get involved.

 

[toff79]

My daughter asked what I meant I took the outrageous step of explains it to her

Hope she doesn't grow up a sex pest or is pregnant before 11 because she heard the word shag

 

[Chinster]

I got flipped the bird today and got called a loser for letting in a shot from my little angel (he's 6!) we had words....

 

[Norman Potting]

No, no it's "boom chigga aaaaaaah".

And when an opposition player from a team even slightly north of us makes a particularly bad tackle the youngest Maglers shouts: "You dirty bowl of custard."

..I will remember these and anticipate a very confused fan in future years, but hopefully one who will take her dear of mad daddy to games occassionally!