Gary Nelson
New member
MANCHESTER UTD MEMBERSHIP
DO YOU COME FROM MANCHESTER?
DO YOU HAVE RELATIVES IN MANCHESTER?
DO YOU LIVE NEAR MANCHESTER?
If you say NO to these three questions, you are an ideal person to become a fan of
MANCHESTER UNITED
Yes, this is your big chance to join the ever-growing army of glory hunting c*nts who can be seen around the country in the colours of The Scum. To join the newly formed club, simply send in a map with a cross marking where you think the city of Manchester is. In the unlikely event of there being two correct entries and thus a tie, fill in the tiebreak question at the bottom of the page.
* YOU COULD WIN *
FIRST PRIZE: Brand new, '03’ registration Ford Bandwagon for you and the others to jump on. This prestige vehicle comes with many features, including stereo radio (pre-set to come on at 4:45pm every Saturday as you, of course, won't be at the game).
SECOND PRIZE: One year’s supply of new design Manchester United replica shirts. These will be despatched to you weekly.
THIRD PRIZE: A complete supply of Manchester United programmes from the games that you have attended. Both will be sent in the same envelope.
Tie Breaker (in no more than 12 words)
I feel it necessary to follow a football team that I have absolutely no connection with because:
.......................................................................... ..............................................
Name: .......................................................................... .....................
Address: .......................................................................... ..................
Age:..................................
Mental Age:...........................................................
Your home town: London / Basildon / Torquay / Tokyo / Wales / Manchester…(don’t lie!!)
Your big match seat: Sofa / Armchair / in bed (with "I still love David Beckham" snug bedspread)
Your view: Biased / Blocked (picture of Beckham) / Blocked (beer belly)
Have you ever considered going to Old Trafford? __________
Where were YOU when United were shit? (Please account for all 28 years until 1992) ________________
TICK all of the teams that you've supported over the past five years: Blackburn Rovers ______
Leeds United _______ Arsenal _______ Other (perhaps champions in another country?) ________
TICK all of the teams you'll be supporting next year? Liverpool________ Glasgow Celtic_______
Real Madrid_________ Brazil_________ Anyone else who wins a lot___________
Number of your mates who now support United? ________
Number of Mancunians (if any): __________
Number claiming to be lifelong United fans? ___________
Replica Kit Opinion Section what colour would you like next seasons kits to be
Home kit: _____________
Away kit: _____________
Second Away kit: _____________
Third Away Kit: _____________
Fourth Away Kit: _____________
Fifth Away Kit: _____________
Special Ltd Edition Away Kit: _____________
Feb 29th Leap Year Day Kit: _____________
Sunday Afternoon kit: _____________
Monday Evening Exclusively Sponsored by Ford and Sky WWW page kit: _____________
Midweek Print-your-own-Money European Super League kit: _____________
Off season Second-Thursday of every month Morning Practice Training Kit sponsored by Pepsi and Spice Girls:_____________
Do you intend buying them all? _____________
PLEASE FILL OUT TO BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES (WE DONT EXPECT MIRACLES. THIS IS UNITED YOU KNOW)
DO YOU COME FROM MANCHESTER?
DO YOU HAVE RELATIVES IN MANCHESTER?
DO YOU LIVE NEAR MANCHESTER?
If you say NO to these three questions, you are an ideal person to become a fan of
MANCHESTER UNITED
Yes, this is your big chance to join the ever-growing army of glory hunting c*nts who can be seen around the country in the colours of The Scum. To join the newly formed club, simply send in a map with a cross marking where you think the city of Manchester is. In the unlikely event of there being two correct entries and thus a tie, fill in the tiebreak question at the bottom of the page.
* YOU COULD WIN *
FIRST PRIZE: Brand new, '03’ registration Ford Bandwagon for you and the others to jump on. This prestige vehicle comes with many features, including stereo radio (pre-set to come on at 4:45pm every Saturday as you, of course, won't be at the game).
SECOND PRIZE: One year’s supply of new design Manchester United replica shirts. These will be despatched to you weekly.
THIRD PRIZE: A complete supply of Manchester United programmes from the games that you have attended. Both will be sent in the same envelope.
Tie Breaker (in no more than 12 words)
I feel it necessary to follow a football team that I have absolutely no connection with because:
.......................................................................... ..............................................
Name: .......................................................................... .....................
Address: .......................................................................... ..................
Age:..................................
Mental Age:...........................................................
Your home town: London / Basildon / Torquay / Tokyo / Wales / Manchester…(don’t lie!!)
Your big match seat: Sofa / Armchair / in bed (with "I still love David Beckham" snug bedspread)
Your view: Biased / Blocked (picture of Beckham) / Blocked (beer belly)
Have you ever considered going to Old Trafford? __________
Where were YOU when United were shit? (Please account for all 28 years until 1992) ________________
TICK all of the teams that you've supported over the past five years: Blackburn Rovers ______
Leeds United _______ Arsenal _______ Other (perhaps champions in another country?) ________
TICK all of the teams you'll be supporting next year? Liverpool________ Glasgow Celtic_______
Real Madrid_________ Brazil_________ Anyone else who wins a lot___________
Number of your mates who now support United? ________
Number of Mancunians (if any): __________
Number claiming to be lifelong United fans? ___________
Replica Kit Opinion Section what colour would you like next seasons kits to be
Home kit: _____________
Away kit: _____________
Second Away kit: _____________
Third Away Kit: _____________
Fourth Away Kit: _____________
Fifth Away Kit: _____________
Special Ltd Edition Away Kit: _____________
Feb 29th Leap Year Day Kit: _____________
Sunday Afternoon kit: _____________
Monday Evening Exclusively Sponsored by Ford and Sky WWW page kit: _____________
Midweek Print-your-own-Money European Super League kit: _____________
Off season Second-Thursday of every month Morning Practice Training Kit sponsored by Pepsi and Spice Girls:_____________
Do you intend buying them all? _____________
PLEASE FILL OUT TO BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES (WE DONT EXPECT MIRACLES. THIS IS UNITED YOU KNOW)
