[Football] So... surely it's high time to decide who is/was our slowest ever player...

[Kosh]

For me... it has to be Richard 'running through treacle' Barker. I watched a breakaway featuring 'the bear' at Darlington back in the day, and everything went in super slow mo... I'm pretty sure dry ice covered the pitch too and alas I saw it all in real HD his legs were pounding away but he seemed to turn like a combine harvester stuck in a back alley and accelerate akin to a hardback book sitting on a bookshelf.

 

[Scampi]

Darren Currie had all the speed of a milk float

 

[Poyningsgull]

Has to be Butts

 

[spongy]

Marcus Painter? I cant remember the game but it was our first season at the Amex and he was chasing a ball down the left wing.

Poor guy. Never stood a chance.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

Not the slowest but remember when JOHNATHAN OBIKA tried to run after that ball with a 20yard head start and still got overtaken?

That was funny.

 

[Stat Brother]

A favourite recent memory was in a game Wayne Bridge didn't play, possibly against Wolves.

Someone played a 'ball for Bridge' down to the SE corner flag, it was gamely chased down by Marcos Painter.
For all I know he's still running.

 

[Kosh]

Bas Savage was also surprisingly very slow. With the ball at his feet he seemed to have to slalom from left to right in order to control the ball, which added to the almost comedic slowness at which he moved forwards.

There was one episode away at Tranmere I'll never forget. 10 yards clear he had to shoot from 25 yards as he was overtaken by the time he'd controlled and turned to run. As for the shot, he lost control had to kind of outside of the boot toe poke the ball towards the goal. I actually laughed as the ball span away and almost made the advertising board to the right of the goal. Awful.

 

[Green Cross Code Man]

Willie Young. Never seen someone run in slow motion before.

 

[Kosh]

Gary Hobson - seemed to play like he was from an alternate dimension where time and space moved at an entirely different pace.

 

[el punal]

Willie Young. Never seen someone run in slow motion before.

And that was when he was on fast-forward!

 

[Bigtomfu]

Got to be Denny "The Barrel" Mundee? The drop of the shoulder was the only thing that gave him a chance of performing anything akin to accelerate.

 

[sully]

By the time he came to us, Frank Worthington did the running through treacle thing. They still couldn’t get the ball off him, though. Total class act.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Willie Young was very slow.

I'll throw Mike Trusson into the mix.

 

[Frutos]

Joe Gatting.

 

[Seagull kimchi]

Les Berry - something to do with his chain-smoking.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

And of course KEMY

 

[Curious Orange]

Jimmy Case at the end of his career... he didn't actually need to move out of the centre circle mind!

 

[Del Boy]

Guy Butters

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Dale Jasper

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Andy Kennedy and Mark Farrington would make an interesting race.