Small things that irritate you.....

[looney]

Trendy celebrities on television who don't pronounce the letter T in the word artist.

Overweight blokes over the age of 25 wearing skinny jeans. Just get a better/bigger fit fatty.

To be fair most of the "mens" jeans appear to be designed to fit ladyboy legs, especially Primark.

 

[Me and my Monkey]

People who use the self-service check-out at a supermarket when they don't have a f*cking clue how to use it.

It is ALWAYS some stupid fat bint who clearly uses words like "holibobs" and thinks dealyboppers are the height of hilarity. She'll trundle her full f*cking trolley up to the self service checkout. The first item out is without fail a copy of Heat or Okay magazine. She won't know how to scan it so she'll just flair her arm around in front of the scanner like an octopus in a washing machine until finally it scans.

She'll struggle through the next 2815 items in her basket as I slowly realise that it would have been much quicker for me to join the 10 person long queue at the normal checkout then wait behind this monstrous c*nt.

Then at the bottom of her trolley will be one loose piece of fruit, that doesn't have a barcode. She'll spend the rest of the week trying to find the barcode before staring blankly in the direction of somebody who works there, waiting for them to notice her and come to help instead of pressing the assistance button. Finally she'll be shown how to input the item and you can start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Nope. Her Fat, Ugly, Stupid kid will now have to scan an item themselves and despite there now being a queue slightly longer than the Great Wall of China she'll stand there beaming at her moronic offspring trying and failing to scan a Kinder Surprise.

Once this is done all you have left to worry about is how long will it take for her to read "how many bags would you like?" before imputing her answer. It should be simple but I've genuinely been stuck behind people who can't figure it out. They type in "2" then stare blankly at the screen, press cancel and then type in "2" again. PRESS OKAY YOU F*CKING RETARD.

And after all of that, and after she's read her recipt at the checkout, and after she's counted her change and double checked it's enough she finally moves on and I can buy my bottle of water and pack of chewing gum.

Ooh, brilliant, I almost feel like I was there sharing your misery. Was this a "live" rant, written to pass the time while waiting for offending lady to do her offensive stuff? What's a "holibob"? Oh, and we're you in Asda?

 

[looney]

People who use the self-service check-out at a supermarket when they don't have a f*cking clue how to use it.
............ chewing gum.

Great frothing rant there, your about one delay away from wearing someone elses skin and burying the bodies under the patio arn't you?

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Younger people who never take the earphones out of their ears because they can't bear to be without "my music".
- Particularly when pushing buggies or prams and it would be more interesting and stimulating for the little person they are with if they actually spoke to them, smiled at them, interacted with them
- The kid on a stupid bike I followed down the road earlier on this evening while taking my wife in to Southampton. He was most of the way veering all across the road, doing wheelies, acrobatic things on the bike and, of course, not wearing a helmet. When I eventually had the opportunity to get past him he was wearing earphones and probably totally oblivious to the fact anyone was behind him.
- The young man on the way back in Portswood High Street that I watched while in some slow moving traffic. He walked along the pavement, then decided he wanted to cross the road, stepped off the pavement without looking and walked diagonally across the road totally oblivious to anything going on around him. As I pulled past him and glanced back, I noticed he was ....... wearing earphones.

TRY PAYING SOME ATTENTION TO WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU!

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

BG being almost right

 

[portlock seagull]

Younger people who never take the earphones out of their ears because they can't bear to be without "my music".
- Particularly when pushing buggies or prams and it would be more interesting and stimulating for the little person they are with if they actually spoke to them, smiled at them, interacted with them
- The kid on a stupid bike I followed down the road earlier on this evening while taking my wife in to Southampton. He was most of the way veering all across the road, doing wheelies, acrobatic things on the bike and, of course, not wearing a helmet. When I eventually had the opportunity to get past him he was wearing earphones and probably totally oblivious to the fact anyone was behind him.
- The young man on the way back in Portswood High Street that I watched while in some slow moving traffic. He walked along the pavement, then decided he wanted to cross the road, stepped off the pavement without looking and walked diagonally across the road totally oblivious to anything going on around him. As I pulled past him and glanced back, I noticed he was ....... wearing earphones.

TRY PAYING SOME ATTENTION TO WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU!

Sooner these people are out the gene pool the better! Won't be long by the sounds of either!!

 

[Seagulls over Essex]

Alex Pritchard

 

[Seagulls over Essex]

People behind the till at all Greggs shops who ask "Anythink else?"

 

[The Rivet]

My mate said, 'I don't know why my wife is so irritated these days' whilst chatting today.

 

[banjo]

Ants

Ant music.

 

[cheshunt seagull]

"black pepper and sea salt" flavoured crisps.
"cider vinegar and sea salt" flavoured crisps. Twats.

What is wrong with "salt and pepper" or "salt and vinegar" then you absolute TWATS?

Taken to an even more annoying level by announcing the origin of the ingredients in the name. I saw something like 'Maldon Sea Salt and Cracked Black Pepper' the other day. You can then throw in an 'artisan' for good measure.

 

[B-right-on]

Parents who call their kids "mate"
No you are NOT their mate. You are their parent. Mates are those that you hang around with, have a laugh and help deal with life's problems.
Parents are there to love and cherish you, put you on the road to a life where you can achieve your potential by providing the road and barriers to help you on your way.
Totally different. Part of the general fall in societies standards.

 

[Weststander]

Chris Evans

 

[dazzer6666]

People who use the self-service check-out at a supermarket when they don't have a f*cking clue how to use it.

It is ALWAYS some stupid fat bint who clearly uses words like "holibobs" and thinks dealyboppers are the height of hilarity. She'll trundle her full f*cking trolley up to the self service checkout. The first item out is without fail a copy of Heat or Okay magazine. She won't know how to scan it so she'll just flair her arm around in front of the scanner like an octopus in a washing machine until finally it scans.

She'll struggle through the next 2815 items in her basket as I slowly realise that it would have been much quicker for me to join the 10 person long queue at the normal checkout then wait behind this monstrous c*nt.

Then at the bottom of her trolley will be one loose piece of fruit, that doesn't have a barcode. She'll spend the rest of the week trying to find the barcode before staring blankly in the direction of somebody who works there, waiting for them to notice her and come to help instead of pressing the assistance button. Finally she'll be shown how to input the item and you can start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Nope. Her Fat, Ugly, Stupid kid will now have to scan an item themselves and despite there now being a queue slightly longer than the Great Wall of China she'll stand there beaming at her moronic offspring trying and failing to scan a Kinder Surprise.

Once this is done all you have left to worry about is how long will it take for her to read "how many bags would you like?" before imputing her answer. It should be simple but I've genuinely been stuck behind people who can't figure it out. They type in "2" then stare blankly at the screen, press cancel and then type in "2" again. PRESS OKAY YOU F*CKING RETARD.

And after all of that, and after she's read her recipt at the checkout, and after she's counted her change and double checked it's enough she finally moves on and I can buy my bottle of water and pack of chewing gum.

Best. Post. Ever.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

when you open a new packet of drugs and you ALWAYS open the end where the warning leaflet wraps over the sheets of pills.


aaaaaaagh!!!

( I have to take a lot too)

I am likewise a heavy drug user possibly NSCs biggest HRT taker on a daily basis for which I am hoping Bozza will knock me up a certificate. Anyway, I digress.

This annoyance is best dealt with in the following way :

1. When you get your repeat prescription stick it all on the kitchen table
2. Open every single box. Stick that annoying paper in the recycling.
3. Consolidate the same pills into one box. For instance, I can make 4 boxes of HRT into 2 due to the way they package it and I normally have 5 empty at the end of this process.

This has the added benefit of no annoying paper on a daily basis and more space in the drugs cupboard.Trust me, it makes your life easier.

 

[Dave the OAP]

I am likewise a heavy drug user possibly NSCs biggest HRT taker on a daily basis for which I am hoping Bozza will knock me up a certificate. Anyway, I digress.

This annoyance is best dealt with in the following way :

1. When you get your repeat prescription stick it all on the kitchen table
2. Open every single box. Stick that annoying paper in the recycling.
3. Consolidate the same pills into one box. For instance, I can make 4 boxes of HRT into 2 due to the way they package it and I normally have 5 empty at the end of this process.

This has the added benefit of no annoying paper on a daily basis and more space in the drugs cupboard.Trust me, it makes your life easier.

Oooooh... BP pills and warfarin(various flavours) I have box loads of these every quarter!

 

[Simster]

People who use the self-service check-out at a supermarket when they don't have a f*cking clue how to use it.

It is ALWAYS some stupid fat bint who clearly uses words like "holibobs" and thinks dealyboppers are the height of hilarity. She'll trundle her full f*cking trolley up to the self service checkout. The first item out is without fail a copy of Heat or Okay magazine. She won't know how to scan it so she'll just flair her arm around in front of the scanner like an octopus in a washing machine until finally it scans.

She'll struggle through the next 2815 items in her basket as I slowly realise that it would have been much quicker for me to join the 10 person long queue at the normal checkout then wait behind this monstrous c*nt.

Then at the bottom of her trolley will be one loose piece of fruit, that doesn't have a barcode. She'll spend the rest of the week trying to find the barcode before staring blankly in the direction of somebody who works there, waiting for them to notice her and come to help instead of pressing the assistance button. Finally she'll be shown how to input the item and you can start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Nope. Her Fat, Ugly, Stupid kid will now have to scan an item themselves and despite there now being a queue slightly longer than the Great Wall of China she'll stand there beaming at her moronic offspring trying and failing to scan a Kinder Surprise.

Once this is done all you have left to worry about is how long will it take for her to read "how many bags would you like?" before imputing her answer. It should be simple but I've genuinely been stuck behind people who can't figure it out. They type in "2" then stare blankly at the screen, press cancel and then type in "2" again. PRESS OKAY YOU F*CKING RETARD.

And after all of that, and after she's read her recipt at the checkout, and after she's counted her change and double checked it's enough she finally moves on and I can buy my bottle of water and pack of chewing gum.

Some on the rants on this site are BRILLIANT. This one is right up there. Magnificent.

 

[Tokyohands]

The way Americans say "I could care less" instead of the proper "I couldn't care less".

 

[Captain Sensible]

People that hold you up at airport security, middle lane motorway drivers and Seagulls TV.

 

[Eric Potts]

People ( most frequently , but not exclusively , women ) who refer to their pets as " Fur Babies "

There may well be a more nauseatingly twee phrase out there , but I'm not sure I've heard it yet.