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[Humour] Scotland / Northern Ireland Tunnel



WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 10, 2003
27,792
Don't know how long this will last on the main board, but thought it was too good to be hidden in the Bear Pit

'Put the hallucinogenics down': Prospect of undersea tunnel between Scotland and Northern Ireland debunked

Conservative MP Simon Hoare, chairman of the Northern Ireland Select Committee, yesterday dismissed the idea of an undersea tunnel as fanciful and said the government's focus should be on making the protocol work.

"The trains could be pulled by an inexhaustible herd of Unicorns overseen by stern, officious dodos," he tweeted."A PushmePullYou could be the senior guard and Puff the Magic Dragon the inspector. Let’s concentrate on making the protocol work and put the hallucinogenics down."

He later tweeted that there are several practical barriers in the way of the rail project.

"Also another 'minor hurdle' is the NI railway gauge is an 'all Ireland' gauge which is different to that used in GB," he tweeted. "I’m not Brunel but I think this might be a bit of a problem."


https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/19090665.put-hallucinogenics-down-prospect-undersea-tunnel-scotland-northern-ireland-debunked/

:lolol:
 




Tom Bombadil

Well-known member
Jul 14, 2003
6,109
Jibrovia
Boris couldn't get a bridge built across the Thames, I don't think we need waste any time on his Irish tunnel scheme
 


ATFC Seagull

Aberystwyth Town FC
Jul 27, 2004
5,358
(North) Portslade
Completely pointless. If you look at the Channel Tunnel, it is a sensible route for pretty much anyone who is travelling from Europe to Britain or Ireland - unless you are travelling from Scandinavia and want to end up in the North of England/Scotland.

Whereas even travelling to Northern Ireland from most parts of England and Wales it would still be easier getting the ferry to Dublin and then driving up.

I bet it would be fun on Rangers-Celtic match days though.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,771
Chandlers Ford
The sea there is 5 x deeper than the channel tunnel route, and is full of dumped WWII munitions.

File under "Utter nonsense, designed to distract the moronic masses"
 


Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
Where do we put the border?

Who would want to go anywhere. Regardless of getting to NornIron, you have to pass through Scottyland first - which is a long way from anywhere civilized.
 




Swansman

Pro-peace
May 13, 2019
22,320
Sweden
Completely pointless. If you look at the Channel Tunnel, it is a sensible route for pretty much anyone who is travelling from Europe to Britain or Ireland - unless you are travelling from Scandinavia and want to end up in the North of England/Scotland.

Whereas even travelling to Northern Ireland from most parts of England and Wales it would still be easier getting the ferry to Dublin and then driving up.

I bet it would be fun on Rangers-Celtic match days though.

How would a tunnel between NI and Scotland help people travelling from Scandinavia?
 


ATFC Seagull

Aberystwyth Town FC
Jul 27, 2004
5,358
(North) Portslade
How would a tunnel between NI and Scotland help people travelling from Scandinavia?

It wouldn't. The Channel Tunnel is the one between Folkestone and Calais.
 


Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
The sea there is 5 x deeper than the channel tunnel route, and is full of dumped WWII munitions.

File under "Utter nonsense, designed to distract the moronic masses"

The seabed is also granite, not soft chalk like the English Channel seabed. It's a non starter.

This is a minor point (excuse the pun)

[tweet]1350769471942754305[/tweet]
 




Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,841
Uffern
The sea there is 5 x deeper than the channel tunnel route, and is full of dumped WWII munitions.

File under "Utter nonsense, designed to distract the moronic masses"

[A pedant writes] It's not quite as bad as that, it's about three or four times deeper. Beaufort's Dyke is 300m below sea level while the Channel Tunnel at its lowest is 115m. Obviously an Irish tunnel would have to go deeper but not five times.

It's clearly a non-starter though. It's not just the depth and the munitions, there's also the lack of any infrastructure on either side and the lack of transport links. It would also take at least a decade to build, probably longer: NI and Scotland could be completely different countries by then.
 


WATFORD zero

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NSC Patron
Jul 10, 2003
27,792
[A pedant writes] It's not quite as bad as that, it's about three or four times deeper. Beaufort's Dyke is 300m below sea level while the Channel Tunnel at its lowest is 115m. Obviously an Irish tunnel would have to go deeper but not five times.

It's clearly a non-starter though. It's not just the depth and the munitions, there's also the lack of any infrastructure on either side and the lack of transport links. It would also take at least a decade to build, probably longer: NI and Scotland could be completely different countries by then.

Is everyone here on drugs ? I thought sourcing the PushmePullyou would be a problem and I'm sure Puff must be retired by now, he was working when I was a kid. These are the real issues ???
 
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nwgull

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2003
14,533
Manchester
As mentioned above, a tunnel across the narrowest part of the Channel comes out near Dover, which is already a very busy port and not far from London and worth spending the money on for both freight and passengers. The only feasible crossing for an NI - UK tunnel however, brings the tunnel out at Stranrear, which is in the middle of nowhere and a town that none of us had ever heard of outside of the classified football results read by James Alexander Gordon.
 




Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
72,392
Sounds about the dumbest idea ever. Who would want such a thing, let alone pay for its construction? Sounds about as practial as the Newhaven-Dieppe ferry. Probably quite fun to use tho :thumbsup:
 


Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,841
Uffern
Is everyone here on drugs ? I thought sourcing the PushmePullyou would be a problem and I'm sure Puff must be retired by now, he was working when I was a kid. These are the real issues ???

Nah, the PushmePullyou can be found with the unicorns on the same sunlit uplands of Brexit
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
55,622
Burgess Hill
Don't need to go underground though - should just put in a nice glass tunnel resting on the sea bed (a larger version of the kind of thing you can walk through at Seaworld), so whilst the many millions making their usual journey from Scotland to NI can look at the abundant fish as they hurtle Westwards.
 




WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 10, 2003
27,792
Don't need to go underground though - should just put in a nice glass tunnel resting on the sea bed (a larger version of the kind of thing you can walk through at Seaworld), so whilst the many millions making their usual journey from Scotland to NI can look at the abundant fish as they hurtle Westwards.

You should certainly be on the design team (maybe heading it up). Just the sort of positive thinking Johnson is looking for :thumbsup:
 


RexCathedra

Aurea Mediocritas
Jan 14, 2005
3,509
Vacationland
By the time it gets past the planning stage, it will connect two EU member states.
 




Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
As mentioned above, a tunnel across the narrowest part of the Channel comes out near Dover, which is already a very busy port and not far from London and worth spending the money on for both freight and passengers. The only feasible crossing for an NI - UK tunnel however, brings the tunnel out at Stranrear, which is in the middle of nowhere and a town that none of us had ever heard of outside of the classified football results read by James Alexander Gordon.

I’ve been to Stranraer. I went to Larne on the ferry.
 




Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,841
Uffern
By the time it gets past the planning stage, it will connect two EU member states.

Even now it's a bit of a mare. It would involve the devolved governments of NI. Scotland (no friend of Johnson there, so expect a lot of obstruction), ROI (because they're in customs market with NI) and the UK. It's possible the EU may be involved too.
That's a very different scenario from the Channel Tunnel which involved two states, both inside the EU and with a clear aim of getting things done quickly. That tunnel took eight and half years from award of contract to completion but a lot of the preparation work had already been done - the UK started digging in 1975 before a project was abandoned.

My estimate is that NI/Scotland tunnel would take at least 12 years but probably many more - it's fantasy land
 


Jeremiah

John 14 : 6
Mar 15, 2020
2,532
Hove
Can't see this being built as the West Stand slide takes priority - BTW what is happening to it ? Is it being built by the same people as Palace's Main Stand ?
 


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