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Sally Roberts, mother of Neon. Is she right? Does Dad have NO say?



The Rivet

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2011
4,592
This lady is questioning her sons treatment suggestions made by the NHS.It could impact her sons future for sure, differently depending on how you view it. What about the fathers right to a say? I believe, when I see her on TV as preening for the cameras, she's a typical attention seeker at the expense of her own son. What do you think?
 




Freddie Goodwin.

Well-known member
Mar 31, 2007
7,186
Brighton
Not seen her on TV but an interview scenario is probably difficult enough without the real issue so I doubt you could look into her character too much from there.

As for the real issue, I've shied away from this story. It must be a nightmare for any parent, torn between wanting your child to live but also having to watch that suffering and remember she's had to watch this for some time now.

Is she right or wrong? Who can say but I am just so grateful I'm not in that position and I'm sure she is doing what she believes to be right for her child.
 


This is one of those situations where I find it impossible to believe that publicity helps in any way whatsoever. It's a personal matter for the family concerned, who have turned to the law to resolve it. All this should be done in private.
 


drew

Drew
NSC Patron
Oct 3, 2006
23,632
Burgess Hill
As a parent, I would do what it takes to keep my daughter alive. Seems to me that she has had advice from several consultants but doesn't like what she hears, ie there is the possibility of side effects from the chemo or radiotherapy that is being recommended. Some of the comments seem to suggest that these might change his personality. The alternatives are not to have the treatment, which the consultants say will lead to an early death or to try alternative medicines, again which I believe the consultants suggest may or may not help as there is no evidence to support them but either way he still needs the radiotherapy.

If you were given the choice of a personality change, possibly slight, possibly great or possibly none at all, would you take that as opposed to losing your child forever. For me, it's a no brainer and I struggle to understand why she sees it differently, which she obviously does.
 


jackanada

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2011
3,512
Brighton
While I have heard complaints on the radio from others who have been in such difficult situations about how they were handled by the doctors involved I feel that these are exactly the situations where we need to just give our absolute trust to those in charge of their care. (In no way am I saying there should not be oversight and review). The parents are understandably pretty much temporarily insane and the outcomes are not good. The very blunt truth is that your child will quite possibly die, will probably suffer permanent impairment of some description and will definitely suffer a great deal of pain and distress. The options that can be discussed are essentially trying to balance the probability and severity of these factors in the best way - something that requires knowledge, experience and a capacity for scientific detachment. How many people could claim all of those with the fate of their child at stake?
Presenting people with options they can neither understand nor compute does not help. As a friend of mine in a similar situation said to the doctors. "Don't ask me. Imagine she's in your family and do what you think is best. I'll pray and support her."
 




Starry

Captain Of The Crew
Oct 10, 2004
6,733
as a parent of a child who died from cancer and who at various points during anastasia's care and treatment disagreed with my wife over what the next step should be i can why the dad is wanting what he is wanting and why the mother wants what she wants. it is unfortunate that it is all being played out in the media spotlight though. my wife and i didn't agree several times over whether we'd take that treatment or do that surgery for anastasia, in the end anastasia had every treatment that the doctors recommended, it wasn't enough and she died anyway. every day we wonder if we had stopped treatment earlier would we have had better quality time with her for the time she had left rather than putting her tiny body through more treatments. we'll never know.

it is an absolutely impossible situation. there is no right or wrong answer, neither the dad nor mum are right. they both want what they believe is best for their son and when you disagree on something like this and have to seek an outside party to mediate/decide for you it must just make things so much worse. i don't think the mum is attention seeking at her son's expense though.

and on that note, donate blood, sign up for the organ donation list. we are about to celebrate our seventh christmas without our daughter.
 


El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
40,017
Pattknull med Haksprut
I still can't believe any parent would put their son through the trauma of being called Neon.
 


Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
46,762
at home
But is this a fight between mum and dad? It is not being portrayed as such. This woman is being villified for doing what she feels is right. My wife is furious about this. She says how come every Jehovah'switness is not dragged in court when they refuse to allow their children to be saved by having blood traNsfusions.
 




macky

Well-known member
Dec 28, 2004
1,653
This lady is questioning her sons treatment suggestions made by the NHS.It could impact her sons future for sure, differently depending on how you view it. What about the fathers right to a say? I believe, when I see her on TV as preening for the cameras, she's a typical attention seeker at the expense of her own son. What do you think?

I thought exactly the same thing smiling for the cameras If god forbid i was in that situation last thing i would be doing is smiling Cameras or not It seem to me she's liking the attention
 




Berty23

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2012
3,656
It is a horrible situation. I had something comparable when my wife was diagnosed with cancer when 22 weeks pregnant with twins. Wait for the babies to arrive naturally and risk cancer spreading or get induced as soon as viable and hope for the best. In the end my wife made the decision the babies must come first and we were lucky that it has all turned out okay as she is now getting better and my twin girls are two and a half and excited about Christmas. This whole story should not be played out in the media. Cancer is horrific and you have no idea how you will behave until it happens to you
 




Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
46,762
at home
She's wrong.



Judges and doctors.

Judges can only rule on the law and interpretation of such. It is not their position to make moral judgements.

Doctors are split on this. On 5 live a consultant physician was on who took the same decision as this poor woman is facing and he said that his daughter had a brain tumour and they took the decision not to allow radiotherapy.
 


BLOCK F

Well-known member
Feb 26, 2009
6,723
But is this a fight between mum and dad? It is not being portrayed as such. This woman is being villified for doing what she feels is right. My wife is furious about this. She says how come every Jehovah'switness is not dragged in court when they refuse to allow their children to be saved by having blood traNsfusions.

Doctors can and do go to court in cases where J.W.'s refuse blood transfusions for their children,if the child's life or health is in serious danger.
 


BLOCK F

Well-known member
Feb 26, 2009
6,723
My wife is recovering from breast cancer and had 2 ops,chemo and hormone treatment.The oncologist explained that the treatment is not an exact science but that you will lessen the odds of the cancer recurring if you have the chemo etc.In her case he said perhaps only 12 of 100 women would need the chemo,but do you want to take the risk?She went for it.....belt and braces sort of thing.
Although not quite the same scenario as with this little boy,the point I am trying to make is that I feel one should generally take medical advice to improve the odds of success.A caveat to this is, that in this particular case,we do not know the details and have no idea what the mother has been told about possible severity of side effects.
However,only knowing what I have read,I find her objections to her son having the treatment doctors say is necessary to save his life as very sadly misguided.
 






The Rivet

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2011
4,592
Thanks for your opinions. I maybe wrong but, it would appear that most of us would go with the percentage outcome. Almost like a poker player. What other odds do you have? No other.......you go with the expert advice. As for my view on the mother I am going to suppress it. Suffice to say that if that was my genetic son I would have my say. NO DOUBT!
 


melias shoes

Well-known member
Oct 14, 2010
4,830
Judges can only rule on the law and interpretation of such. It is not their position to make moral judgements.

Doctors are split on this. On 5 live a consultant physician was on who took the same decision as this poor woman is facing and he said that his daughter had a brain tumour and they took the decision not to allow radiotherapy.
I would do everything to keep my child alive. Radiotherapy is part of the treatment of cancer and offers a better chance than she is. Absolute no brainer. She is wrong.
 


drew

Drew
NSC Patron
Oct 3, 2006
23,632
Burgess Hill
The problem it seems was that she was claiming there were thousands of reports into alternative medicines and treatments but when asked, she couldn't produce any.
 


GT49er

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 1, 2009
49,191
Gloucester
Cancer? Been there, done it - grab whatever treatment you can. The judge seems to have sided with the Dad in this case - that must be a first...........
 


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