[Humour] Private Eye Commentatorballs

[jakarta]

Used to be Colemanballs for those old enough...

Anyway our Chris has made the latest edition with:

You don't become a bad team overnight - you have to wait for the opportunity...

 

[Easy 10]

There was one I heard from a co-commentator just the other day (Jenus ?) when a player was down receiving treatment on the pitch and some of the opposition players were gesturing like he was feigning it. he said something like:

"Look, he's not just laying down there receiving treatment for the good of his own health now, is he ?"

Errr...

 

[Flagship]

I was watching a women's rugby match and there was a passage of play which got very scrappy with a lot of handling errors and the ball eventually rolled through a player's legs.

The commentry went - its all getting very messy (pause) between the legs.

 

[Is it PotG?]

The confident jockey, travelling well in front, 'He takes a look between his legs, and likes what he sees.'

 

[The Clamp]

There’s only one word for that... Magic darts.

 

[Razzoo]

There's Rush as quick as a needle.

 

[wolfie]

Just heard the BT Ref at the Camp Nou say "It definitely hit his hand, but it wasn't handball"

 

[vegster]

" Juanterena opened his legs and showed his class "

 

[Superphil]

Wasn’t there a weightlifting one where the commentator said something along the lines of “and she’s showed us her snatch”

BTW, careful how you google that one.

 

[Washie]

Just heard the BT Ref at the Camp Nou say "It definitely hit his hand, but it wasn't handball"

Could be ball to hand. Therefore the ref is correct.

 

[Sirnormangall]

The club also got a mention in the “message boards” section of the previous edition of Private Eye. We’ve made the big time - and we’re now on for a hat-trick ( possibly our only hat-trick of the season - ignoring consecutive losses).

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

There’s only one word for that... Magic darts.

This.

Actually it was 'You can some that up in one word - magic darts'

Illingworth has just relieved himsef at the pavillion end

Batsman's Holding, bowler's Willey

And the Germans are everywhere.................****z

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

Ken Brown at The Masters this year.
"The ball came down onto the green like a fried egg".

 

[Dick Head]

He’s going for the green and for those watching in black and white it’s behind the brown.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

If history's going to repeat itself you can bet that'll happen again. T Venables!

 

[catfish]

'Harry Commentator is your Carpenter'.

 

[pasty]

Will never be bettered....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ

 

[rippleman]

I've got a feeling our Liam had one in there fairly recently too.

I will have a look through my back issues tonight.

 

[Blackadder]

" Juanterena opened his legs and showed his class "

That was a great line, always blamed on Coleman. it was actually Ron Pickering who said it.

 

[8049]

Used to get Colemanballs book every Christmas. One of my favourites was "Derby County are on the peak of a trough".