'Dog turd served in a knotted nappy bag, freshly picked from the hedge' accompanied by '300ml of piss in a sun-faded Sprite Zero bottle, straight from the verge.'
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[Food] Pretentious Pub Food
- Thread starter el punal
- Start date
'Dog turd served in a knotted nappy bag, freshly picked from the hedge' accompanied by '300ml of piss in a sun-faded Sprite Zero bottle, straight from the verge.'
Mr Putdown
Well-known member
Why are you quoting the kitchen ‘philosophy’ of the Pig with regard to a menu item from the Three Tuns?
Pah indeed.
why are you quoting the kitchen ‘philosophy’ of the pig with regard to a menu item from the three tuns?
Pah indeed.
pah pah!
The Birdman
New member
Can't beat a simple breakfast.
Nicole!
pasty
A different kind of pasty
Birdie Boy
Well-known member
- Jun 17, 2011
- 4,387
Yep, seen that before. The wine might be £20 for the same bottle in the pretentious pub, or any pub for that matter, but you are still only paying 37p for the wine itself.
Weststander
Well-known member
:
Totally agree, Weststander.
Talking about Nouvelle Cuisine, I can still recall being in a restaurant in York in December 1986 and we were near a large table of hungry Yorkshire lads and lasses looking forward to their pre Christmas office meal. Out came the waiters with the huge plates covered by equally huge lids, then with a great flourish they removed the lids to show the tiniest turkey and trimmings you could imagine. A lot of basic Yorkshire phrases were employed and my girlfriend and I could only look on in horror........we were next! I think the office party probably went out and filled up with good old fish and chips after that. Needless to say, the next night we ate elsewhere!
Nouvelle Cuisine - I remember dining at a highly regarded small restaurant in St.George’s Road, Kemp Town in 1988 or 1989 (near The Rock pub). I’m tall and I kept fit, so was bloody starving. I was also brought up on substantial home cooked British meals.
Then out came these minute courses. We probably filled up on extra crusty bread.
I don’t think NC has completely died, but instead that type of menu now contains many courses.
1 Paston Place?
el punal
Well-known member
- Thread starter
- #132
:
Totally agree, Weststander.
Talking about Nouvelle Cuisine, I can still recall being in a restaurant in York in December 1986 and we were near a large table of hungry Yorkshire lads and lasses looking forward to their pre Christmas office meal. Out came the waiters with the huge plates covered by equally huge lids, then with a great flourish they removed the lids to show the tiniest turkey and trimmings you could imagine. A lot of basic Yorkshire phrases were employed and my girlfriend and I could only look on in horror........we were next! I think the office party probably went out and filled up with good old fish and chips after that. Needless to say, the next night we ate elsewhere!
Been there. Done that!
From Trip Advisor about a restaurant near us:
"Firstly, the nine course menu took two and a quarter hours. I’m sorry but that’s a little silly especially considering the first 3 courses were served at the same time (if you could call them courses). The first course was literally a leaf. It was a crispy leaf with some blobs on but it’s still a leaf. How is that a course? The tiny bit of beetroot on a twig another ‘course’ and a smear of mousse on a pebble with some chicken skin another ‘course’. These three were served at the same time. The beetroot was fine I suppose but I wouldn’t call it nice. The cod mousse was tasty and the chicken skin to eat it with was also nice. The next 4 courses were absolutely delicious but incredibly small. I also thought it was a little strange to have 2 beetroot courses and 2 duck courses. No lamb, beef, pork etc. Where’s the local meat they’re so proud of on the website? Never seen this in a Michelin starred restaurant before. I’ve also never left a Michelin starred restaurant hungry before until today. The total quantity of food is literally enough to fill a small plate. Nine canopes is not a meal. The second duck dish was the largest of all but not enough to forgive the other eight spoonfulls. The last Michelin meal we had was in June (L’eviel des sense) and after an hour and a half and seven delicious courses, we left full and booked a return visit. "
That surely has to be a piss take. The writer clearly knows what to expect from a fine dining tasting menu so I think it’s their attempt at trying to be funny.
Possibly not. Other reviews include:
"The food was nice but that's not the word you would expect to use when describing a Michelin rated restaurant. We were presented with a lovey piece of lamb which was to be for our table intact judging by the 2 very small pieces we got it probably did the whole restaurant for the night. I jokingly said it was lovely (which it was) but wondered what happened to the rest of it - I was ignored obviously! Seriously portions are smaller than usual so would say "taster menu" is very accurate."
"Total lunch bill was £250 for 2, though could have easily been £350 with cheese and a desert wine. Much to my partner's admonishment, I did feel very peckish when I left. Lucky we didn’t opt for the evening menu, which would have been £600 for 2, even taking it very easy on the wine list."
"Of the 17 miniature courses on the only available menu, and this priced at £155 per head, maybe half the courses were of the standard of other Michelin * restaurants I have frequented and only two stood out as being superb (these being a smoke eel dish - although the eel could have struggled to cover the size of my thumb nail"
"By the way it’s not just me. The couple we spoke to on the way out said they were off to find a chippy!"
"To call the individual servings "courses" in the 17 part menu is clearly a misnomer. They are tiny by any standard and by any taster menu standard. Some of the tastes are great as you would expect but when the core dish of lamb came (two square cuts about 1" by 2" square) we knew we were truly back in the days of nouvelle cusine. I was tempted to order the cheese just to see how small they could cut it."
"Dish 3 - Turnips with English Mushrooms. Should read 'mushroom slice'. This dish had one slice of mushroom, couple of green leaves and a white blob of something (not mentioned) turned out to be a blob of cheese dumpling"
"Half way through the meal one of our quartet was heard to say "Paul phone up Chris ( the place we were staying) and ask him to have a cheese and pickle sandwich ready for when we get back-- I,m starving!! Some of the food would have been tasty if we had been given enough to savour it . The wine list was wonderful in its depth, variety and price. Our 2 bottles of Marlborough white were £47 each , i would think the same would be available at Majestic for £7 - a very hefty mark-up. When the bill came for £636 without the tip our comment was "Never again".NB an extra £7 for a cup of coffee."
"We departed somewhat poorer and still hungry!!"
"we left the restaurant still hungry - this is not a difficult problem to solve as we simply bought exquisite pork pies and sticky toffee pudding at the local shop and withdrew to our holiday cottage nearby"
However, there are some extremely good reviews as well.
"The food was nice but that's not the word you would expect to use when describing a Michelin rated restaurant. We were presented with a lovey piece of lamb which was to be for our table intact judging by the 2 very small pieces we got it probably did the whole restaurant for the night. I jokingly said it was lovely (which it was) but wondered what happened to the rest of it - I was ignored obviously! Seriously portions are smaller than usual so would say "taster menu" is very accurate."
"Total lunch bill was £250 for 2, though could have easily been £350 with cheese and a desert wine. Much to my partner's admonishment, I did feel very peckish when I left. Lucky we didn’t opt for the evening menu, which would have been £600 for 2, even taking it very easy on the wine list."
"Of the 17 miniature courses on the only available menu, and this priced at £155 per head, maybe half the courses were of the standard of other Michelin * restaurants I have frequented and only two stood out as being superb (these being a smoke eel dish - although the eel could have struggled to cover the size of my thumb nail"
"By the way it’s not just me. The couple we spoke to on the way out said they were off to find a chippy!"
"To call the individual servings "courses" in the 17 part menu is clearly a misnomer. They are tiny by any standard and by any taster menu standard. Some of the tastes are great as you would expect but when the core dish of lamb came (two square cuts about 1" by 2" square) we knew we were truly back in the days of nouvelle cusine. I was tempted to order the cheese just to see how small they could cut it."
"Dish 3 - Turnips with English Mushrooms. Should read 'mushroom slice'. This dish had one slice of mushroom, couple of green leaves and a white blob of something (not mentioned) turned out to be a blob of cheese dumpling"
"Half way through the meal one of our quartet was heard to say "Paul phone up Chris ( the place we were staying) and ask him to have a cheese and pickle sandwich ready for when we get back-- I,m starving!! Some of the food would have been tasty if we had been given enough to savour it . The wine list was wonderful in its depth, variety and price. Our 2 bottles of Marlborough white were £47 each , i would think the same would be available at Majestic for £7 - a very hefty mark-up. When the bill came for £636 without the tip our comment was "Never again".NB an extra £7 for a cup of coffee."
"We departed somewhat poorer and still hungry!!"
"we left the restaurant still hungry - this is not a difficult problem to solve as we simply bought exquisite pork pies and sticky toffee pudding at the local shop and withdrew to our holiday cottage nearby"
However, there are some extremely good reviews as well.
Some people may be afraid to leave bad reviews as it might make them look uncultured perhaps........does the place respond to reviews ? Notice more and more doing this now
'Thanks for your review and we're particularly pleased you enjoyed our turnips with mushrooms. As you will will appreciate we are a fine dining establishment so you should bloody well know you're going to pay and arm and a leg for a Sparrow's luncheon'........................
Mr Putdown
Well-known member
Looking at your location that’s got to be L’Enclume in Cartmel?
Birdie Boy
Well-known member
- Jun 17, 2011
- 4,387
I wouldn't say I have a well structured body but there is certainly no soft finish with me! [emoji23]
Billy the Fish
Technocrat
I do get a bit bored of the tasting menu style if I have it too much. The Mrs & I generally eat at Tristan in Horsham once or twice a year and their menu is very good and doesn't leave you wanting more, but after that I usually just want a normal sized plate of food to dig into.
It's all about expectation with restaurants, I don't see a problem with the menu in the OP if it's in that style of gastro pub. I'm sure Google could find somewhere decent within a 20 minute drive if you just want reasonably priced pub grub
It's all about expectation with restaurants, I don't see a problem with the menu in the OP if it's in that style of gastro pub. I'm sure Google could find somewhere decent within a 20 minute drive if you just want reasonably priced pub grub