[Football] Premier League nickname deathmatch

[Tesco in Disguise]

Playing the cherries on Saturday made me think of the extent to which teams' nicknames strike fear into the hearts of their opponents, with cherries being the least intimidating (though I suppose they do have a pit inside them you could choke on). Here is my list of Premier League teams' nicknames, in order of how deadly I consider them to be.

Gunners. Guns.
Red devils. Questionable morals, plus a trident.
Hornets. We've all seen My Girl.
Hammers. Oft-used murder weapon.
Wolves. The deadliest of the dogs.
Spurs. Can do some damage on the right shoes.
Terriers. Not the biggest dogs, but they've got teeth.
Foxes. Presumably about joint with terriers.
Eagles. Scary birds.
Seagulls. Unlucky if you're a chip.
Magpies. Like shiny things but more peaceful than seagulls.
Bluebirds. More placid still, I would think.
Cherries. Potentially fatal pit.
Toffees. Need proper chewing or could be hazardous.
Pensioners. Many of them voted for Brexit, which will kill us all.
The cottagers. Can thwart planning permission, but not much going forward.
Citizens. All the power of the demos, but difficult to organise for a 1-on-1.
Saints. I don't think they have any special powers.
Clarets/Reds. Abstract concepts.

I think we're about mid-table. Not that intimidating, but they lend themselves for a good chant. Plus, they must be one of the only nicknames that actually occasionally naturally show up at games.

 

[GT49er]

The irony of club nicknames is that The Irons can happily visit The Cottagers, but not be even slightly embarrassed chanting homophobic chants at the Seagulls.

 

[studio150]

Hornets. We've all seen My Girl.
.

Never heard of the film. let alone seen it.

 

[Albion my Albion]

Hornets. We've all seen My Girl.

Never heard of the film. let alone seen it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U88cFP69Wsw


Thomas J. has a terrible allergic reaction to hornet stings.

 

[The Rivet]

The irony of club nicknames is that The Irons can happily visit The Cottagers, but not be even slightly embarrassed chanting homophobic chants at the Seagulls.

Surely that is only irony if you understand cockney and gay terminology?

 

[super-seagulls]

Never heard of the film. let alone seen it.

Then how, pray tell, did you know it was a film

 

[JBizzle]

They'd all die in a fight with this bloke:

 

[GT49er]

Surely that is only irony if you understand cockney and gay terminology?

Why? Terminology is in common usage, well beyond just cockney and gay communities..

 

[Simster]

Playing the cherries on Saturday made me think of the extent to which teams' nicknames strike fear into the hearts of their opponents, with cherries being the least intimidating (though I suppose they do have a pit inside them you could choke on). Here is my list of Premier League teams' nicknames, in order of how deadly I consider them to be.

Gunners. Guns.
Red devils. Questionable morals, plus a trident.
Hornets. We've all seen My Girl.
Hammers. Oft-used murder weapon.
Wolves. The deadliest of the dogs.
Spurs. Can do some damage on the right shoes.
Terriers. Not the biggest dogs, but they've got teeth.
Foxes. Presumably about joint with terriers.
Eagles. Scary birds.
Seagulls. Unlucky if you're a chip.
Magpies. Like shiny things but more peaceful than seagulls.
Bluebirds. More placid still, I would think.
Cherries. Potentially fatal pit.
Toffees. Need proper chewing or could be hazardous.
Pensioners. Many of them voted for Brexit, which will kill us all.
The cottagers. Can thwart planning permission, but not much going forward.
Citizens. All the power of the demos, but difficult to organise for a 1-on-1.
Saints. I don't think they have any special powers.
Clarets/Reds. Abstract concepts.

I think we're about mid-table. Not that intimidating, but they lend themselves for a good chant. Plus, they must be one of the only nicknames that actually occasionally naturally show up at games.

Astonishing: Nearly 22 hours and not a single Nigel has come on here to smugly announce they're above us in that table.

Mind you, that's probably the only table in which they'll be above us for a while, unless you count the "who's got the shittest ground" league table obviously.

 

[Arthritic Toe]

I would contend that more people have choked on toffees than cherries, rendering the former more lethal.

 

[Gary Leeds]

I would contend that more people have choked on toffees than cherries, rendering the former more lethal.

I would argue that more people have died from cottaging than choked on toffees and cherries combined