Post your favourite 'An [inanimate object] goes into a bar...' gag

[The Large One]

A pair of glasses goes into a bar.

The landlord says, "Sorry, mate, I can't serve you."

"Why not?"

"Because you're off your face..."

 

[Mendoza]

A SKELETON goes into a bar, and asks the land lord for a pint,












and a mop

 

[Trigger]

Man walks into a bar...

































OUCH!

 

[Easy 10]

A throat lozenge goes into a bar and gets refused service.
After he leaves, one of the regulars asks the barman why he wouldn't serve him.

"Don't want his kind in here" said the barman. "He's menthol".

 

[Brian Fantana]

An amnesiac (sp) walks into a bar and asks: "Do I come here often?"

 

[The Spanish]

a bear walks into a pub and goes


"i'd like a gin and .............................................tonic please"


barman goes

"why the big pause?"


bear goes


"i was just deciding which mixer to have with it."

 

[Hungry Joe]

A snake goes into a bar and asks for a pint but the barman refuses to serve him. "Why?" hisses the snake........."You can't hold your drink" replies the barman.

 

[Stoo82]

Two blondes walk into the bar....















You'd think one of them would of seen it?

 

[Easy 10]

Two black pieces of tarmac are having a beer in a pub. A red piece of tarmac walks in and orders a pint of milk with a Toblerone in it. One of the black pieces of tarmac starts to laugh, but then his mate mutters to him:
"Leave it out mate. He's a cyclepath".

 

[backson]

A piece of string goes into a bar, the barman says, "Oi you, out. We don't serve pieces of string here".

The piece of string goes out, ties himself into a knot, then starts pulling apart his ends.

He goes back in. The barman says, "Here, aren't you that same piece of string?"

He says "No, I'm a frayed knot"

 

[backson]

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman go into a bar.

Barman says "Is this some kind of joke?"

 

[Lord Bracknell]

René Descartes is in a bar at closing time. The bartender asks him if he'd like another drink. Descartes says, "I think not," and he disappears.

 

[Gazwag]

A sperm donor walks into a bar, whilst sitting drinking his pint the girl sitting a new stools down says "D'you come here often" to which he replies, "no there aren't any porn magazines to read"

 

[pasty]

William Shakespeare walks in to a bar and the landord says "Get out, you're bard"

 

[Silent Bob]

I can't help but notice most of these involve no inanimate objects whatsoever. Except the bar.

 

[The Large One]

A set of jump leads goes into a bar.

The landlord says, "Sorry, mate, I can't serve you."

"Why not?"

"It looks like you're about to start something..."

 

[Gazwag]

The FTSE and his mate Dow Jones walk into a bar, the barman says "you two look down"

 

[sten_super]

I can't help but notice most of these involve no inanimate objects whatsoever. Except the bar.

OK then.

A wall is in a bar. The barman says to the wall "Do you come here often?", to which the wall says nothing, because he's a wall.

 

[Seagullible]

A horse walks into a bar
Barman says, 'why the long face'

 

[Gazwag]

OK then.

A wall is in a bar. The barman says to the wall "Do you come here often?", to which the wall says nothing, because he's a wall.

I thought he said "stop pointing at me"