Poo

[Brighton till i die]

for a few weeks now i've been trying to perfect the art of having a "special log" arrive whilst poo'ing!

what i mean is the bit of poo that you can get out without snipping before it hits the water.

anyone accomplished this? if so i'd love a few tips.

closest i got is when i put loads of extra water down the loo first, but it still snipped before it could reach the water! gutted!

 

[Trufflehound]

Put a cork up your arse and hold it all in for a week. That might help.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Shit in the sea. With no resistance and added buoyancy you'll curl off a treat!

 

[Hampden Park]

shit thread

 

[Uncle C]

closest i got is when i put loads of extra water down the loo first, but it still snipped before it could reach the water! gutted!

Liar.
Its impossible to do this

 

[Hampden Park]

for a few weeks now i've been trying to perfect the art of having a "special log" arrive whilst poo'ing!

what i mean is the bit of poo that you can get out without snipping before it hits the water.

anyone accomplished this? if so i'd love a few tips.

closest i got is when i put loads of extra water down the loo first, but it still snipped before it could reach the water! gutted!

take your head out the bog for a start

 

[Brighton till i die]

Re: Re: Poo

Liar.
Its impossible to do this

its true i tell ya - i filled the toliet up with bath water so it was a few inches higher than normal - but my piece of poo still didnt quite reach!

 

[Napper]

it is possible as i have achieved this, I always find on the rare occasions that this has happened that it leaves an incredibly long skid mark on the bottom of the pan , i presume this is due to it's weight and speed as it's finally freed .
I can't help how to perfect this but slightly o/t eat plenty of beetroot as if you can't get the perfect log you can at least marvel at the colour.

 

[*Gullsworth*]

Easy one this......hold on to it for about 3 days

Anyone sent one thro' the s bend without stopping...Quality................................................Also whats your record number in one day------ mine stands at 7 ( full scale logs) will always remember it, i was on a short holiday in Budapest!!

 

[Trufflehound]

Also whats your record number in one day------ mine stands at 7

That sounds like dysentery to me...

 

[Billy the Fish]

Not sure about a 'special log', but i've iced the log a few times

 

[Uncle C]

Re: Re: Re: Poo

its true i tell ya - i filled the toliet up with bath water so it was a few inches higher than normal - but my piece of poo still didnt quite reach!

Sorry but your a liar

You could put a lorry load of water down the loo but it will still end with the same water level which is dictated by the S bend.

Go make up a more plausible story

 

[Brighton till i die]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Poo

Sorry but your a liar

You could put a lorry load of water down the loo but it will still end with the same water level which is dictated by the S bend.

Go make up a more plausible story

faaackin hell - i didnt realise you were a toliet engineer buddy. however my statement still stands as the truth - i have never quite managed the perfect complete log!

 

[Brighton till i die]

Anyone sent one thro' the s bend without stopping...Quality................................................

now that is a special treat when you look down to marvel at all your hard work and the fecker has disappeared on a day trip!!

 

[Trufflehound]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Poo

Sorry but your a liar

You could put a lorry load of water down the loo but it will still end with the same water level which is dictated by the S bend.

Not if you block the bend up with paper first.

 

[Brighton till i die]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poo

Not if you block the bend up with paper first.

 

[Dr Feelgood]

This is how it is done but you may not get the perfect log.
Go out Saturday night have a nice vindaloo with all the pickles make sure you have plenty of the lime pickle down this with 6+plus pints of cobra then eat plenty of nan bread to help firm it up, on the Sunday morning when you dash for your crap wait till your ring piece goes down for a drink of water and bingo.

 

[Uncle C]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poo

Not if you block the bend up with paper first.

You could also do it with quick setting cement.
Dont be such an idiot

 

[bailey]

Did I logon to NSP by accident?

I should know better I suppose - clicking on a thread entitled "Poo"

 

[Uncle C]

Did I logon to NSP by accident?

I should know better I suppose - clicking on a thread entitled "Poo"

Yeh get back to the counting thread, thats just about your level