HWT has just blown my theory out of the water anyway. It appears I'm naïve. I will create an account for my sons school tests now though!
The esta (?) for entering the US is basically an online box tick that asks you if you are a terrorist and wish to bring down the US, and all who sail in it.
You tick the 'no, mate' box, and you're in.
Meanwhile 40 million red necks imagine that President Brainstem is "keepin' us all safe y'all".