Painful problem

[Goring Gull]

Any wannabe medics out there.


I seem to have a rather painful problem - yesterday afternoon i started getting the worst wind imaginable - really foul smelling and it felt like it was burning my ring peice due to the heat when passing out. Now whenever i take adump it feels like i've recently eaten a good few vindaloo's

I can't think of anything i've eaten hot that would have caused this, i haven't drunk excessive amount of beer either - any ideas?

 

[Easy 10]

Sounds like your kidneys are packing up.
I'm not a doctor, mind.

 

[Bakesy]

It's called BULLSHIT BURN......you'll get used to it!

 

[King of Birds]

Have you been buggered recently?

 

[dougdeep]

Have you been buggered recently?

Oi! No advertising.

 

[Hiney]

It's called BULLSHIT BURN......you'll get used to it!

 

[The Oldman]

Bournemouthitis innit?

 

[Cheshire Cat]

What do you think this is - NHS Direct - is there a doctor (or nurse) in the house?

 

[seven stands]

An anal fissure is a small tear of your skin just inside the opening of your anus.

They are very common in people of all ages, but are most common in teenagers and young adults.

They can be very painful, especially when opening your bowels (passing faeces). They can be very upsetting but are very rarely serious.

The fissure may bleed a little and stain the toilet paper with bright red blood after opening your bowels.

An anal fissure will usually heal on its' own, but this often takes several weeks. The fissure may not heal and may become chronic. This is because the blood supply may be reduced to the skin of your anus due to the muscles tightening in response to the pain, so preventing healing.


im a plumber so i should know

 

[Buzzer]

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

 

[Dr Q]

Giardia (not to be confused with the oirish police though!)

Trust me, I'm a doctor

 

[Deleted member 2719]

Bournemouthitis innit?

 

[Eric Potts]

Looks like you'll just have to have an ass replacement mate

 

[gullshark]

its either that or you've got excess stomach acid - that would explain the smell and stuff. got heartburn too ?

 

[NMH]

Maybe that little sweet finacee is spiking your food, nice and gradual, a bit of arsenic in the salt....slowly but surely....

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Tell the other half to cut her nails next time or stick to just the one finger in her quest for 'Le Zone G'

Failing that Anusol HC (the prescription one with Hydrocortisone)works a treat for torn rectal tissue.....trust me.

 

[NMH]

Failing that Anusol HC (the prescription one with Hydrocortisone)works a treat for torn rectal tissue.....trust me.

Is that the one with the tabasco sauce in it?

 

[Tubby Mondays]

It sounds like piles to me.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

A Doctor writes:

Too much acid or bile in the gut can make your ringpiece sting, also will give you quite alarming gut ache as it passes along.

Plenty of water and lay off the fatty food.

It is either that or worrying about whether you will ever get your car-jack back from Bournemouth.