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OT - Assistance for a separated mother of three



£1.99

Well-known member
Mar 3, 2008
1,233
Could they maybe try getting back together and try and save there marriage.
After all they were once in love!
And I'm sure they both still love there children
 




sully

Dunscouting
Jul 7, 2003
7,933
Worthing
One thing that she might consider that will mean she can earn money and look after her kids is to become a childminder herself.

I'm sure it doesn't take long to become registered and generally only required a few safety changes to your house (smoke alarms, cupboard locks and the like).

Childminders always seem to be in high demand.

Fostering is another possibility, but with 3 of her own already, I don't know if she'd have space to put up any more. It also takes longer to get registered for that.

Glad nobody's mentioned the CSA yet. Last resort. Sort out the dad's contributions amicably if possible. At the end of the day, you'll find that he'll be the one cash-strapped by this once it all pans out.
 


BensGrandad

New member
Jul 13, 2003
72,015
Haywards Heath
every fucker knows what they are entitled to and nobody knows their responsibilities.
[/QUOTE

That is one of the problems with our system the DSS etc will NOT tell you what you are entitled to you have to just apply and unless you are well into the benefit system or know somebody who is you will not claim half of what you are entitled to and when you do find out about it it is too late.
 


I’m not for one moment says we should be like other countries, but just for a example, in other countries women are back in the fields picking very soon after giving birth, ? Why, because if they did not they would not have the money to feed the baby just born. They work around their circumstances.
I think you'll find that young mothers who work in the fields soon after giving birth are living in societies where wages aren't paid and crops aren't sold for money. Or if they are sold, they are sold by the landlord, not the woman who grows them. And the landlord doesn't pay the woman either. All she gets is a share of the crop.

Subsistence economies are all about self-sufficiency and extended families. And harsher conditions than we can imagine. One of the few social benefits going is that the women who work in the fields have aunts and grandmothers who look after children.

It's different here. And it's absurd to even attempt to draw a comparison.
 


Uncle C

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2004
11,711
Bishops Stortford
Just to answer a few points.

Yes, she is very good looking, and no you don't get pictures or an address.

The couple realised the kids were arriving too thick and fast so dad had a vasectomy 18 months ago.

Mum is already a registered child minder and does get some small income from this. She often used to go out babysitting, but this is not possible now.

For someone that's never drawn benefit, its a bewildering experience knowing where to start, but there are some excellent pointers here.

Thanks again to almost everyone. :thumbsup::thumbsup:
 






Normal Rob

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
5,795
Somerset
The above, without doubt, is one of the most correct statements I have ever read on here.

Perhaps. But that does not mean that we should turn your back on those who genuinely need help.

Presumably this lady has paid taxes, national insurance etc to date. As i said earlier - If you have contributed to the state then you are entitled to seek help from it if circumstances dictate so.
 


hitony

Administrator
Jul 13, 2005
16,284
South Wales (im not welsh !!)
Perhaps. But that does not mean that we should turn your back on those who genuinely need help.

Presumably this lady has paid taxes, national insurance etc to date. As i said earlier - If you have contributed to the state then you are entitled to seek help from it if circumstances dictate so.

I did not suggest that the Lady concerned in this thread, should not have anything she may be entitled to.

What I was agreeing to was the fact that the benefit system really does need a major overhaul.
 




Garage_Doors

Originally the Swankers
Jun 28, 2008
11,790
Brighton
I think you'll find that young mothers who work in the fields soon after giving birth are living in societies where wages aren't paid and crops aren't sold for money. Or if they are sold, they are sold by the landlord, not the woman who grows them. And the landlord doesn't pay the woman either. All she gets is a share of the crop.

Subsistence economies are all about self-sufficiency and extended families. And harsher conditions than we can imagine. One of the few social benefits going is that the women who work in the fields have aunts and grandmothers who look after children.

It's different here. And it's absurd to even attempt to draw a comparison.
As usual lb you completely missed the point
 
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e77

Well-known member
May 23, 2004
7,270
Worthing
Try and reach an amicable agreement with her husband about payments and find out what she can claim but if she can't afford the mortgage she will have to live somewhere smaller.
 


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