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Sad, or just plain funny?......

A FAT WOMAN who got stuck in a restaurant doorway was prodded with forks wielded by her angry fellow diners.

Cops say the woman "squealed and suffered horribly" as a wild-eyed mob jabbed her and hurled cruel insults, including calling her names like "Miss Piggy" and "tub of lard" and taunting her with the childhood rhyme, "Fatty, fatty, two by four, can't get through the bathroom door . . ."

"This unfortunate woman was poked and stabbed at least 200 times and maybe even more," says a Chicago police spokesman, adding that he is both embarrassed and saddened by the insensitivity of his fellow Chicagoans.

"The forks were plastic," he says, "but they still managed to inflict a lot of damage. Doctors later told me the victim looked like a pincushion."

"Basically these people were upset that they couldn't use the rest rooms. The woman was trapped in a doorway that leads to both the men's and ladies' toilets."

The 647-pound woman -- whose name Weekly World News editors are withholding to spare her any further embarrassment -- "was in great distress before she was freed," notes the cop, who says the ugly incident unfolded in a popular barbecue restaurant known, ironically, for its Southern-style hospitality.

"The victim was squealing and crying in pain, not to mention being humiliated, when police and firefighters arrived to help her. They estimate that as many as 40 men and women had taken turns poking her with their forks."

Firefighters cut and pried the by-then exhausted woman free with saws, crowbars and the Jaws of Life, a special tool usually reserved for ripping open car doors to free passengers trapped in wreckage.

She was taken to a hospital where she was treated for puncture wounds, shock and dehydration. Getting through the restaurant's main door was no problem.

In the words of the police spokesman, "It was a double door."

The restaurant's manager says the doorway leading to the rest rooms was "normal size," but in a nod to political correctness after the fact, commented that the woman "had an alternative body image and unfortunately got wedged as she tried to go through."

Cops say her assailants will almost certainly face assault and battery charges after investigators pore over videotape taken from the restaurant's security cameras to help them identify everyone who participated in the bizarre attack.

"When I realized I was stuck I got scared and starting yelling, 'Help! Help me!' " the woman said in a brief interview attended by her attorney. "A server tried to push me through but she couldn't."

"Everything went downhill from there. A man started yelling at me to get out of the way so he could go to the bathroom. Then I heard a woman cursing at me and calling me names like 'fat a--' and 'Miss Piggy.' It was awful."

"And then I felt the forks. They poked me over and over and over and over again. I remember sobbing and yelling at them, 'Why are you doing this to me? Why? Why?'"

An eyewitness who claims to have tried to calm the angry customers confirms the woman's story.

"Thank goodness I had my cell phone. If I hadn't called for help, the fat lady might have been poked and prodded to death."

The victim, 41, says she's planning to sue the restaurant and its patrons for actual and punitive damages in excess of $20,000.
 




Rangdo

Registered Cider Drinker
Apr 21, 2004
4,779
Cider Country
Soton Seagull said:

The victim, 41, says she's planning to sue the restaurant and its patrons for actual and punitive damages in excess of $20,000.

Surprise surprise. As soon as I started reading it I was thinking who can she sue over this one. I think the restaurant should counter-sue for blocking their toilets from paying customers.
 




Lammy

Registered Abuser
Oct 1, 2003
7,581
Newhaven/Lewes/Atlanta
"the woman had an alternative body image"

a what now?
 








Curious Orange

Punxsatawney Phil
Jul 5, 2003
10,229
On NSC for over two decades...
The Large One said:
647 pounds? That's 46 stone, or over quarter of a ton. That's larger than me...

Or 3 and a half of me!!! You'd get nervous if you saw her looking at you and licking her lips. I reckon the restaurant should sue her for the damage to its doorway!!
 


Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,755
Bexhill-on-Sea
Soton Seagull said:
Sad, or just plain funny?......

"Fatty, fatty, two by four, can't get through the bathroom door . . ."

Have to remember that one, alternative to "You fat bas**rd"

:lolol:

Soton Seagull said:
She was taken to a hospital where she was treated for puncture wounds, shock and dehydration.

How long was she there then to suffer from dehydration. ???
 
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Northstander

Well-known member
Oct 13, 2003
14,031
Should FAT people be allowed in restaraunts?

It is these type of establishments that they abused in the first place and made them the way they are FFS!!!

:censored:
 




US Seagull

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
4,690
Cleveland, OH
Weezle said:
This is bull. Weekly World News is a newspaper of made up stories. :rolleyes:

Yes this is a fake story. The Weekly World News is a spoof "newspaper" you can pick up at supermarket check-outs (in the US) along with all the celebrity gossip rags that it parodies (National Enquirer, Sun, Star, etc). This is the same paper that brought us news of the Saddam / Osama gay marriage, batboy, WWII bombers found on the moon, etc.
Any half-way critical reading of the story ought to make it obvious that it's fake.

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/
 




Lammy

Registered Abuser
Oct 1, 2003
7,581
Newhaven/Lewes/Atlanta
Oh dear what can the matter be
One fat lady stuck in the lavitory
She was there from Monday to Saturday
No one could fork her from there...



























sorry
 


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