On the piss with your boss...

[CHAPPERS]

Fantastic stuff. Everyone is in a weird mood this morning and the office is very quiet.

Last night there wasa little pissup and people said some very amusing things about their partners. The girl who sits opposite me admitted that she sleeps with women (her boyf doesn't watch though, wanker!) and enjoys it when her boyf sticks his finger up her ass while licking her out.
My boss admitted that she regularly gets off with women, which is amazing coz shes pretty fit and that on tuesday she did a 2 pound turd.
The american guy in the office had a threesome lined up with this girl he's seeing and someone that the girl had just met (girl).

I merely listened in and got wankered on guiness.

ps Who wrote piss flaps in the toilets of the Bear?

 

[Gritt23]

2 pound turd?
You mean she though "Cor, that was a whopper, I better fish it out and weigh it." ?

 

[CHAPPERS]

No, she weighs herself before and after every poo apparently.

 

[Gritt23]

Jesus, I'm not sure that is much better. Obsessive or what?

I used to know a girl who used to take laxatives to help her lose weight - never worked though, the fat cow.

 

[CHAPPERS]

 

[tinx]

Sounds like you had a cracking night chappers, means you have sometihng over everyone at work which is always an added bonus.

 

[Artois]

So you didn't let any secrets out at all then Chappers?

 

[CHAPPERS]

Hell no, thing is that the women in the office can't drink and let things slip after three or four pints that they really shouldn't. Plus girls talk too much anyway which is probably why they are always 'falling out'.

Good night until one of them spilled 3/4 of a pint of guinness over me. Tosser.

The blond barmaid in the Bear is fit.

 

[Artois]

Any fit chicks at you work that you could of pulled then?

 

[Dropkick Turnip]

Got any vacancies Chappers?

 

[CHAPPERS]

Apart from my boss not really, there is a bigger party tonight for pretty much all of the uni admin staff, unfortunately i have to go to a kep party later so ain't going. Got my eye on a girl whos going to that though, will report back with results.

My boss is lovely and likes a drink but she lives with someone, shes leaving soon though so i'm gonna get her pissed one day and have a crack anyway. (shes 12 years older than me)

No vacancies.

 

[Dropkick Turnip]

No vacancies.

Until your boss leaves but then I doubt you'd want to get me pissed and have a crack at me