Not for the faint hearted..

[GoldWithFalmer]

Now this is nothing sexual and mainly applies to blokes,that said not even the majority of blokes.

A few night's ago i was making the sandwiches for me and the missus to have for our lunch the following day.I was using some fresh lettuce and some celery (not for throwing btw) anyway having eaten some of the celery the day before in a meal the missus prepared i though nothing of it and proceeded to get the celery out of the fridge...

I was horrified!!!!! Now for obvious reason i cannot name the supermarket in question but i just thought WOW! the celery had 3 flies in it,was filthy and looked about a week out of date,although it did taste ok the day before funnily enough..

Now i have always been told to wash vegetables/fruit before use and normally do,but for this particular celery it quite simply had to go in the bin...

Now onto the really alarming part!!!

The LETTUCE...........i pulled the leaves off and placed them in the sandwiches,i have allready eaten some of the (oh god help me people) well..................the lettuce was from the same store and in date etc......

Well we all get told that during our lifetimes we eat inadvertently many 1000's of flies/spiders and so forth..

I just can't bare to type the next bit....but here goes.......INSIDE the lettuce was a big fat spider and what can only look like eggs or dirt or god knows what...

When i told the missus she looked at me oddly and said "why,don't you wash you veg?" i sort of said 'oh yeah,i do'..

She then said it would add to the taste...

WASH YOU VEG..

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Alternatively.....avoid veg like the plague. Eat healthy.

 

[Juan Albion]

I don't believe you. Celery never tastes okay.

 

[GoldWithFalmer]

I don't believe you. Celery never tastes okay.

It has many medicinal properties and can be nice in stew...

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Who the feck eats celery!!?

 

[super-seagulls]

Hang on. Are you saying vegetables are not suitable for vegetarians?

 

[lawros left foot]

Who the feck eats celery!!?

Celery is just wrong

 

[Mowgli37]

A sobering tale indeed.

My old mother (well, she's 54) would often regale to me the chilling story of how she, as a child, would always visit the same, delicious bakery on her summer holidays in Bexhill. The hot, hazy and humid air of the south coast in July would always carry the tantalising smell of the establishment so that the whole town centre bathed in the mouth-watering aroma of the home-made treats the baker had on sale. She and the family stayed down in our caravan at Barnhorne for a week every summer and without fail they would always make at least one trip to the Baker's. This went on, year in, year out until that fateful day when munching on one of their scrummy rock cakes she reeled back in horror after realising that embedded in the cake was an entire, enormous wasp, half of which she had just chewed up and swallowed in her previous mouthful.

 

[Frutos]

A sobering tale indeed.

My old mother (well, she's 54) would often regale to me the chilling story of how she, as a child, would always visit the same, delicious bakery on her summer holidays in Bexhill. The hot, hazy and humid air of the south coast in July would always carry the tantalising smell of the establishment so that the whole town centre bathed in the mouth-watering aroma of the home-made treats the baker had on sale. She and the family stayed down in our caravan at Barnhorne for a week every summer and without fail they would always make at least one trip to the Baker's. This went on, year in, year out until that fateful day when munching on one of their scrummy rock cakes she reeled back in horror after realising that embedded in the cake was an entire, enormous wasp, half of which she had just chewed up and swallowed in her previous mouthful.

*puts down the rock cake I was just considering eating as an evening snack*.

 

[Billy the Fish]

Celery is good for your bollocks and jizz production.

Insects get into salad, more so in the organic stuff that isn't sprayed in pesticides. You don't want to be ingesting the stuff that is sprayed in pesticides either so that's 2 good reasons to wash anything you put in your mouth.

 

[Dan Aitch]

"Wash you veg"?

How about "Have a haircut you hippy"?

 

[skipper734]

Of course celery and lettuce has dirt and insects in it, it's grown in the stuff. When ever I have salad in the summer, I nip along to my neighbours garden and pick whatever lettuce and tomatoes and other salad bits needed. They all get washed to get the soil and insects out of them, bugs like salad too.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Vegetables grow in fields shock horror.

I like Celery.

And should personal hygiene matters be kept to yourself?

 

[Trufflehound]

When ever I have salad in the summer, I nip along to my neighbours garden and pick whatever lettuce and tomatoes and other salad bits needed.

Have they sussed out who's nicking it yet? Or do you go in under cover of darkness in disguise?

 

[skipper734]

Have they sussed out who's nicking it yet? Or do you go in under cover of darkness in disguise?

She's pleased that someone makes use of her bounty. ( snigger) Tomato soup arrives when there is just too many. I suppose it's a bit like a community garden.

 

[Nibble]

If you don't know that celery is a fantastic ingredient in stews and hundreds of other dishes you cannot call yourself a cook.

 

[maltaseagull]

Of course celery and lettuce has dirt and insects in it, it's grown in the stuff. When ever I have salad in the summer, I nip along to my neighbours garden and pick whatever lettuce and tomatoes and other salad bits needed. They all get washed to get the soil and insects out of them, bugs like salad too.

I wondered who was nicking all my lettuces !!!!

 

[Insel affe]

Who the feck eats celery!!?

Celery was banned in our house when we were kids the reason.....

It was too noisy a food.

 

[Leighgull]

More importantly why were YOU. Making the sarnies? Has your missus lost the use of her arms?

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Tomatoes grow on railway track in Essex because human waste is being dumped from trains