North Stand Chat Election manifesto

[Nibble]

If a medical procedure is due to the person thinking of only themselves then they should have to pay for it.

e.g. Yob has to have their stomach pumped due to the amount of alcohol they have consumed, or lung cancer is removed from a smokers lungs or stomach stappled on a fat person because they are glutenous

Or Sunday leaguers for breaking a legl or hang gliders for a fractured skull or Go Carters for pavement burns.

Oh and smokers and drinkers and fatties have paid for their treatment many times over in Tax by the time their lungs turn black, their liver explodes or their stomach needs stapling

 

[KneeOn]

The Preservation of Local Sports Bill:

All premier league televised matches will be given a cap on revenue that the teams are able to take, with an excess payments to be spread amongst teh lower league teams or a limit on how much each team is able to be paid per match, with an over all limit on revenue per year.

If the excess money route is taken this will allow lower league teams to charge less for tickets, boosting gate reciepts.

Premier league teams will be required to have a higher rate of tax upon their revenue that will be spent on developing facilities and making football more accessable to those who aren't going to be pro's but love the game anyway, because htey are the ones that fill stadiums often.

Televised match slots will be reduced. No more football on saturday morning, 3pm, 5pm, 7.45, monday night, friday night. It will be as follows: Football kick offs on saturday are limited to 3pm, and 7.45. Sunday may feature one kick off per league at 4pm. Monday night football is abolished. Friday night football is lower league football only. Tuesday and wednesday is champions league and european football, and league cup football. Friday night football will be decided by a panel of judges who will chose who can and cannot play.

Later kick off slots are provided to those who are playin further away. For example Albion vs Carslile is likely to be a 7.45 kick off, as is Plymouth vs Newcastle and any other massive round trip, to make these fixtures more attractive to fans to attend.

Prize money will be limited to stop teams who finish last in the Prem getting more than the team that finishes first in the Championship. Paracute payments will be significantly limited because there will be less of a need for them.

I think that would be a nice start!

 

[withdeanwombat]

All away goals at Withdean and Falmer to be declared offside.

Gus Poyet to be Prime Minister.

Lua Lua to introduce radical left wing policies.

All NEEPs to be given places on a training scheme,provisionally titled the Youth Opportunity Programme,or YOP,so that in twenty years we can look back at it and laugh.It would also provide stand up comedians with a new source of material.

All other football clubs to accept Albion as Kings of Football,and pay a tithe to Albion's coffers.

Albion to reinstate reduced price tickets to over 60's rather than issue such generosity on the whim of individual ticket salespersons.And free admission to Harveys drinkers from the Lord Nelson.

 

[public school boy]

An extra charge for those who only attend matches when the team is playing well and winning and those who moan when they can't get tickets for cup games against top premiere sides when they don't regularly attend other home matches.

 

[newhaven seagull 85]

scrap national insurance and put increase on income tax thereby freeing up money from busineesses to re invest or even employ more staff, this would also cut expenditure in all public service jobs, thereby helpimg to cut national debt.

 

[public school boy]

Double VAT on unhealthy foods, cut fuel duty, scrap crowd segregation at Millwall V West Ham, Celtic V Rangers, Brighton V Palace and all other local darby games. Nearly Forgot Millwall V Leeds

 

[public school boy]

My Policies regarding women If I get elected.

1. A Womans world shall be her Husband, her family, her children and her home.
2. Those women working will only receive 66% of men's wages.
3. 800,000 women will be taken out of the work force within 4 years.
4. The mission of a women is to minister in the home and in her perfession to the needs of life from the first to last moment of man's existance.
5. Women shall become ineligible to jury service as I believe that they are unable to think logically or reason objectively, since they are ruled only by emotion.

 

[Everest]

Gus Poyet to be Prime Minister.

Stupid. We don't want anything to distract him

 

[Gwylan]

Double VAT on unhealthy foods

Double zero is er, zero

If I were your parents I'd be seeking a refund on those public school fees as you don't seem to have learned very much.

 

[desprateseagull]

Bring home the soldiers from Afghanistan, etc. Not our oil. er, i mean war..

80% tax on premier league wages.. i am sure they could still survive on £20-30k a week..?

Ban smoking completely. loss of tax revenues offset by needlessly unhealthy people clogging up the NHS, and taking sickies.. (more earnings = more tax income).

Learning English to be a mandatory requirement, for all those seeking asylum, or setting up business in ths country.. Respectively, Scottish / Welsh / Garlic etc, for other parts of the UK.

Scrap VAT for 2 years.

Jail any (bank?) bosses found to have been lying about their firm's dealings, or exposure, leading up to / during the recession.

and lastly..
Gully's Girls minimum age raised to 18. bonus for going topless whenever BHA score.. ;-)

 

[public school boy]

Double zero is er, zero

If I were your parents I'd be seeking a refund on those public school fees as you don't seem to have learned very much.

Certain foods/ confectionary are subject to VAT I understand and you certainly pay VAT at resturants

 

[Gwylan]

You certainly pay VAT at resturants

Yes, fair point - I'll give you that

 

[public school boy]

Yes, fair point - I'll give you that

It's all good fun. Up The Albion

 

[Hiney]

Money spent on cider consumption can be offset against income tax

 

[Half Man Half Biscuit]

A giraffe for every garden.

 

[e77]

Work towards energy self-dependency.

 

[Taybha]

Shops to be forced to sell 2 oz size bags of sweeties again.

thats about it really . Vote Tay, change your way of life for the better a bit party

 

[West Hoathly Seagull]

Free beer for Albion fans. Paid for by Palace fans. All caravans to be charged double council tax. And painted blue and red, to signify their awfulness.

 

[BHAboi]

all door handles to be removed from doors

 

[Strike]

Jedi Anglicanism

Seeing as Christianity is on its way out in England and lacked being a major moral voice since WWII! Lets create an all new Jedi Church Of England, and will become the state religion replacing the Christian COE.

The JCOE will take over the former CCOE churches, schools and other property. Services, hymns, vicar and priest outfits will be kept similar with some changes The Jedi code will replace the Bible. There will be light sabre sessions during services.

The new Jedi Archbishop Of Brighton based at the Supreme Jedi Temple (formerly St Peters Church), will be the main moral spiritual voice of the country. Focusing on good behaviour, respect all genders, sexuality and races, but following public school boys manifesto will be critical and discourage feminism going for return to proper familys.

All supermarkets have to sell lightsabres, and only meat cut from the same weapons to be sold in all shops. Lightsabre lessons at schools, and college etc..