[Albion] Newcastle’s away changing room

[Lady Whistledown]

The Newcastle United (a Premier League Club) away team changing room, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, admittedly, I wouldn’t want the Albion to make the away dressing room too luxurious either, but this looks like the sort of place you’d find in a concrete breeze block outhouse in the middle of a dingy park in Worthing. With showers where the water temperature is 70% sub-Arctic and 30% hotter than the sun, lighting levels reminiscent of a mushroom farm, a dent in the chipboard door where an angry player once punched it, a black plastic bin filled with orange segments and screwed up sock tape, and an unmistakable smell of damp and Deep Heat.

Hands up if you’ve personally played on pitches with nicer changing rooms than this?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Hands up if you’ve personally played on pitches with nicer changing rooms than this?

Lots (including the Amex )

Buts lots and lots and lots of far worse ones, too!

 

[Dave the OAP]

The showers at Hov Rec for Sunday morning league games during the winter were set at 1000degrees C and would strip off your skin within a millisecond of getting in them.

by contrast, the ones east Brighton park were pumped straight from the arctic

 

[Lady Whistledown]

The home dressing room, for context. Of course they're always going to make that much nicer, as every club does, but that away one does look a bit miserable. When you get an FA Cup tie featuring a Premier League team away at a non-league minnow, the TV presenters always like to make a big deal of showing the changing rooms and asking the question of how the PL "stars" will cope with such basic facilities.

Presumably they will just shrug and imagine they're back at St James' Park.

 

[Gabbiano]

To be honest there's a lot of things that could be done to make away changing rooms uncomfortable.

A long narrow room with an L bend in it so you can't get all the team together for a talk very easily. Uncomfortable furniture, grey unfinished concrete everywhere, low ceilings and crap facilities, showers etc. Newcastle's seems to have several of these features.

Fair enough really, I'd hope the Amex is similar.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Buckingham Park Shoreham in the seventies

ps how’s Lampteys neck

 

[Lady Whistledown]

The showers at Hov Rec for Sunday morning league games during the winter were set at 1000degrees C and would strip off your skin within a millisecond of getting in them.

by contrast, the ones east Brighton park were pumped straight from the arctic

And full of grass and mud where people had washed their boots off?

 

[jackanada]

I did like Bart politely setting the ceiling tiles back in place.

 

[bhafc99]

To be honest there's a lot of things that could be done to make away changing rooms uncomfortable.

A long narrow room with an L bend in it so you can't get all the team together for a talk very easily. Uncomfortable furniture, grey unfinished concrete everywhere, low ceilings and crap facilities, showers etc. Newcastle's seems to have several of these features.

Fair enough really, I'd hope the Amex is similar.

Do the Amex stadium tour - the contrast between the two changing rooms is quite something.

 

[Mellor 3 Ward 4]

Newcastle United.....Let's stick the away fans as far away from the pitch as possible and provide the away team with 1970s changing rooms.

Brighton....Let's stick the away fans behind the goal next to the pitch.

And Southeners are supposed to be the unfriendly ones....

F**k em I say.

 

[Bry Nylon]

I did like Bart politely setting the ceiling tiles back in place.

Newcastle United have lodged a formal complaint after Bart Verbruggen was captured on camera causing over £200 worth of improvements to the Away dressing room ceiling.

 

[Beanstalk]

The home dressing room, for context. Of course they're always going to make that much nicer, as every club does, but that away one does look a bit miserable. When you get an FA Cup tie featuring a Premier League team away at a non-league minnow, the TV presenters always like to make a big deal of showing the changing rooms and asking the question of how the PL "stars" will cope with such basic facilities.

Presumably they will just shrug and imagine they're back at St James' Park.

It's a pretty shit home dressing room (especially compared to ours).

 

[pigmanovich]

Newcastle United have lodged a formal complaint after Bart Verbruggen was captured on camera causing over £200 worth of improvements to the Away dressing room ceiling.

He should invoice PIF

 

[bhafc99]

He should invoice PIF

Might get paid in a year or so - that’s typically how they treat suppliers. Inshallah. And yes I am speaking from personal experience.

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

Not sure if they still play football there but Hampers Lane near Storrington was always fun. Changing rooms were a giant shed and the only running water was a little stream that ran behind the shed.

 

[pigmanovich]

Might get paid in a year or so - that’s typically how they treat suppliers. Inshallah. And yes I am speaking from personal experience.

Quite - strictly speaking not a PIF example but it's a distinction without a difference

 

[el punal]

The home dressing room, for context. Of course they're always going to make that much nicer, as every club does, but that away one does look a bit miserable. When you get an FA Cup tie featuring a Premier League team away at a non-league minnow, the TV presenters always like to make a big deal of showing the changing rooms and asking the question of how the PL "stars" will cope with such basic facilities.

Presumably they will just shrug and imagine they're back at St James' Park.

F*** me! How many shades of grey can you get in one room? It looks like the Dulux ‘Funeral’ range.

 

[Albion my Albion]

and the only running water was a little stream that ran behind the shed.

But was it a good stream? Could you watch the match on that stream?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Not sure if they still play football there but Hampers Lane near Storrington was always fun. Changing rooms were a giant shed and the only running water was a little stream that ran behind the shed.

At Easton & Martyr Worthy, in division two of the Winchester Sunday League, the changing rooms were a shipping container.

Just to be clear - not a CONVERTED shipping container. Just literally, a shipping container.

 

[1066familyman]

We won a tour of Withdean in the raffle once. Oooh.... the luxury!

Granted, neither dressing room was luxurious, as both were porta cabins, but the away dressing room was painted a deep purple colour. It made the tiny room look even smaller, and was so oppressive that I'm sure any away team was in and out of it as quickly as possible.