My wife has been missing for a week. Police called me and said to prepare for the worst

[easynow]

So I went back to the charity shop and bought all her clothes back.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

I had something similar when the Old William knocked on my door and said it looked llike my wife had been hit by a bus, and I said that might be as maybe, but she has a lovely personality

 

[Vegas Seagull]

My wife has gone to the West Indies

 

[Horton hears a few]

My wife has gone to the West Indies

Jamaica?

 

[The Lemming Stomper]

My wife has gone to the West Indies

Of her own accord?

 

[Prince Monolulu]

My wife has gone to the West Indies

St. Lucia?

 

[banjo]

Jamaica?

Boom boom !!

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

 

[Questions]

I saw my wife at the bank yesterday afternoon.
I wasn't expecting to see her there and thought she would have been washed further down river than that.

 

[banjo]

Man: I lost my wife.

Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.

Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Man: Not slim, can be healthy

Inspector: Colour of the eyes?
Man: Never noticed

Inspector: Colour of hair?
Man: Changes according to season.

Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit. I don't remember exactly.

Inspector: Was somebody with her
Man: Yes, my Labrador dog, Romeo, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, brown eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non-veg. food, we eat together, we jog together... And the man started crying....

Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!

 

[Dougie]

My wife run off with the milkman ,
I dont half miss him .

I'll get me coat !

 

[Norman Potting]

My wife's dog has no nose.

 

[The Legend that IS Lawro]

My wife's dog has no nose.

Jamaica?

 

[catfish]

I met my wife when I was in Thailand.

I said "what the bloody hell are you doing here?".

 

[Socialist Sid]

My wife and I were so happy for 22 years....and then we met each other.

 

[Super Steve Earle]

My wife's dog has no nose.

How does he smell?

 

[Dick Head]

The night before our anniversary my wife and I decided that whoever woke up first should wake the other up with oral sex. I was up first so I stuck my cock in her mouth.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

I've had two unhappy marriages

The first one died

The second one won't

 

[Spun Cuppa]

The night before our anniversary my wife and I decided that whoever woke up first should wake the other up with oral sex. I was up first so I stuck my cock in her mouth.

I bet she was choked

 

[father_and_son]

My wife and I were so happy for 22 years....and then we met each other.

I've been happily married for 3 years... married for 25 years, but happy for 3 of them!