My first EVER Premiership experience

[Bluejuice]

Matey of mine has snorted some swanky box seats through his work and invited me along to Stamford Bridge this Saturday to watch Chelsea entertain Bolton Wanderers.

Now I couldn't care a shiny shit about either of these teams or any others in the Premiership BUT I've never been to a premiership game, and aside from Wembley, Cardiff and Twickenham the biggest stadium I've ever visited is probably Vicarage Road.

Apparently it's eat and drink as much as you like for NADA, seeing as we're doing the whole corporate hospitality thing and quite frankly I do LOVE eating and drinking for free.

So I'm gonna be one of those cretins everyone hates, sitting in a luxury box, scoffing my face and quaffing down spirits aplenty whilst caring not a jot for the football match below.

Anyone have any experience of the whole world of corporate entertainment at Chelsea or anywhere else reasonably massive who'd like to shed some light on how it all goes down?

Reckon I'd get away with wearing an Albion top?

And who should I cheer on? Chelsea, my hosts, or Bolton, the plucky Northern underdogs?

 

[murraymints4brighton]

Always support the underdog and i cant say i have ever visited a premier league match and been in a hospitality sweet. I nearly ended up in one in luton but thought rightly otherwise and sat with the peasants.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

In protest of the whole Premier League system, I think you should devour more food and drink than is conceivably possible (ensure that they make a loss on your part) and (preferably) vomit somewhere (clean and respectable) in the process.

Whatever the weather, enjoy.

 

[Bluejuice]

In protest of the whole Premier League system, I think you should devour more food and drink than is conceivably possible (ensure that they make a loss on your part) and (preferably) vomit somewhere (clean and respectable) in the process.

Wouldn't I run the risk then of being mistaken for John Terry?

 

[Slough Seagull]

Wouldn't I run the risk then of being mistaken for John Terry?

only if Ricardo Carvalho comes and cleans up your mess

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

Reckon I'd get away with wearing an Albion top

Not wise if you are going to spew up after eating and drinking too much as your Albion shirt will be encrusted with vom.

 

[Bluejuice]

Good call.

Also I'm going to have to correct myself. I think Loftus Road and the Madejski are both bigger than Vicarage Road and are stadiums I've done

 

[NMH]

Great avatar of Ren Hoek and Stimpson J. Cat there Bluejuice.
I trust hospitality will include chicken pot pie, chololate covered raisins, and boiled football leather

You might feel on Saturday that you're not hitch-hiking anymore - you're RIDING!

 

[Mellotron]

only if Ricardo Carvalho comes and cleans up your mess

Quality satire.

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

Cheer on Chelsea.

 

[supaseagull]

Buy yourself a P*l*ce shirt and wear it, get utterly shit faced and act like a complete wanker and swear like a trooper everytime Terry or Lampard gets the ball.

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

Start a wild rumour and get it passing around the room.

Something like Drogba's taking Essien up the chuff.

 

[Tooting Gull]

The corporate thing is worth doing once for the experience. I think you may find it's a crap way of watching football, and won't want to do it again. It's a bit like being in a posh restaurant and having the TV on in the corner.

 

[Ninja Elephant]

My first experience of the Premier League was earlier this season, Tottenham vs Sunderland. I was at the end Sunderland got their winner, it was a very different experience. Luka Modric is EXACTLY what we need in our midfield.

 

[Bluejuice]

I'm not wearing a Palace shirt for ANYONE.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I'm not wearing a Palace shirt for ANYONE.

Bellucci on all fours, smothered in baby oil, thready breath whispering 'pleasure me Bluejuice', no?

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

I'm not wearing a Palace shirt for ANYONE.

Get someone you intensely dislike to wear the Palace shirt and then perform a test to see if it meets fire regulations - with a flamethrower

 

[Bluejuice]

Bellucci on all fours, smothered in baby oil, thready breath whispering 'pleasure me Bluejuice', no?

I'd have to say anyone calling me by a football forum username would probably be somewhat of a turn off

 

[element]

Chelsea v. Bolton?

Was second prize 4 tickets by any chance?

 

[Paxton Dazo]

Can I have your Swindon ticket?

I was in Antigua when West Ham tickets went on sale.