Most embarrasing thing you have ever done whilst a footie match?

[HampshireSeagulls]

Away at Arsenal, in their stand. Liam Brady was getting a presentation before the match. I was young enough not to know better that standing up and shouting "Brady you are shit" was not a good move. Especially when all you can hear is a really low growling sound coming from all the people in red scarves, and watching the 12 Brighton fans trying to get into the small space under the seats.

Dad walloped me instead, with a resounding shout of "stupid boy". Seemed to pacify the few thousand Gooners around us.

We lost.

 

[Hungry Joe]

I arrived late to the Palace game last Sunday as I'd shit myself on the way down the stairs at home so had to spray more deodorant on my jeans so I had to run up that little hill bit and was so out of breath when I got to the turnstiles that I thought I was going to have a heart attack so I cried a bit and cuddled a steward and then let out an enormous burp and dribbled a small bit of phlegm down my chin and onto his jacket as it was only indigestion after all so I said sorry and went in snagging my shitty trousers on the turnsile and ripping them so badly that as I staggered out and fell into the breast of that quite nice girl who sells the Withdean Wager tickets the arse end of my jeans gaped open and the remains of my premature poo fell out onto her left trainer just as she screamed 'rape' and I got thumped a few times and some of the smaller children started crying so I got thumped a bit more by their angry parents and I ran away towards the toilets but slipped on a half eaten hot dog infront of this girl with nice tits that I really fancy and split my lip open and grazed my hands quite badly so I cried again and wet myself and crawled all the way to my seat as everyone jeered and poked me with their sharp fingers and as I made it to my seat I told the man sitting next to me who I'd never met before but who later said he'll be sitting next to me for the rest of his natural life that he had nice eyes instead of 'that's a nice pie' because I couldn't speak properly due to my swollen lips and tongue so to try and divert any further attention I stood up to start a chorus of that very imaginative 'Allllll-bi-oooooon' chant but again due to my swollen mouth problem actually shouted 'I f*** kids' to the tune of the Some Mothers' Do 'Ave Theme and got beaten up again.

 

[withdeanwombat]

Half time
Shrewsbury 0 Albion 0.

Because of transport difficulties (hadn't passed my test or got a car) I was watching Coventry versuus some other deadlegs.

Well,9 pints of Brew XI and 90 minutes of dire rubbish left me wanting to demolish the rest of the Cathedral.Then the final scores were announced.

Shrewsbury 3 aaaargghhhh,mayhem.Effing,blinding,offering to take anybody on(especially the rather cute WPC intent on ejecting me from Highfield Road).

15 hours later,weary,bedraggled,walking home from the station skint,found out the second part of the score.

What a dope!

 

[Simster]

I arrived late to the Palace game last Sunday as I'd shit myself on the way down the stairs at home so had to spray more deodorant on my jeans so I had to run up that little hill bit and was so out of breath when I got to the turnstiles that I thought I was going to have a heart attack so I cried a bit and cuddled a steward and then let out an enormous burp and dribbled a small bit of phlegm down my chin and onto his jacket as it was only indigestion after all so I said sorry and went in snagging my shitty trousers on the turnsile and ripping them so badly that as I staggered out and fell into the breast of that quite nice girl who sells the Withdean Wager tickets the arse end of my jeans gaped open and the remains of my premature poo fell out onto her left trainer just as she screamed 'rape' and I got thumped a few times and some of the smaller children started crying so I got thumped a bit more by their angry parents and I ran away towards the toilets but slipped on a half eaten hot dog infront of this girl with nice tits that I really fancy and split my lip open and grazed my hands quite badly so I cried again and wet myself and crawled all the way to my seat as everyone jeered and poked me with their sharp fingers and as I made it to my seat I told the man sitting next to me who I'd never met before but who later said he'll be sitting next to me for the rest of his natural life that he had nice eyes instead of 'that's a nice pie' because I couldn't speak properly due to my swollen lips and tongue so to try and divert any further attention I stood up to start a chorus of that very imaginative 'Allllll-bi-oooooon' chant but again due to my swollen mouth problem actually shouted 'I f*** kids' to the tune of the Some Mothers' Do 'Ave Theme and got beaten up again.

We've all done it.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Not sure if this was embarrassing (although some people around me claimed that it was).


Meeting the referee in a crowded Lewes FC Boardroom, after the wonderful NSC-sponsored game between Lewes and Redbridge, last season (5-4 to the Rooks, lots and lots of Harvey's finest, none of which I'd paid for) and saying to him, very loudly ...

... "Ah. YOU'RE the wanker in the black".

 

[Northstander]

I arrived late to the Palace game last Sunday as I'd shit myself on the way down the stairs at home so had to spray more deodorant on my jeans so I had to run up that little hill bit and was so out of breath when I got to the turnstiles that I thought I was going to have a heart attack so I cried a bit and cuddled a steward and then let out an enormous burp and dribbled a small bit of phlegm down my chin and onto his jacket as it was only indigestion after all so I said sorry and went in snagging my shitty trousers on the turnsile and ripping them so badly that as I staggered out and fell into the breast of that quite nice girl who sells the Withdean Wager tickets the arse end of my jeans gaped open and the remains of my premature poo fell out onto her left trainer just as she screamed 'rape' and I got thumped a few times and some of the smaller children started crying so I got thumped a bit more by their angry parents and I ran away towards the toilets but slipped on a half eaten hot dog infront of this girl with nice tits that I really fancy and split my lip open and grazed my hands quite badly so I cried again and wet myself and crawled all the way to my seat as everyone jeered and poked me with their sharp fingers and as I made it to my seat I told the man sitting next to me who I'd never met before but who later said he'll be sitting next to me for the rest of his natural life that he had nice eyes instead of 'that's a nice pie' because I couldn't speak properly due to my swollen lips and tongue so to try and divert any further attention I stood up to start a chorus of that very imaginative 'Allllll-bi-oooooon' chant but again due to my swollen mouth problem actually shouted 'I f*** kids' to the tune of the Some Mothers' Do 'Ave Theme and got beaten up again.

That is fuckin quality, cryin m'self reading it!!!!

 

[Lord Bracknell]

I have a feeling I may have kissed another man whilst celebrating THAT goal against Swindon, can't really remember all that much though

I kissed Lord Bassam on the pitch after that game.

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

I arrived late to the Palace game last Sunday as I'd shit myself on the way down the stairs at home so had to spray more deodorant on my jeans so I had to run up that little hill bit and was so out of breath when I got to the turnstiles that I thought I was going to have a heart attack so I cried a bit and cuddled a steward and then let out an enormous burp and dribbled a small bit of phlegm down my chin and onto his jacket as it was only indigestion after all so I said sorry and went in snagging my shitty trousers on the turnsile and ripping them so badly that as I staggered out and fell into the breast of that quite nice girl who sells the Withdean Wager tickets the arse end of my jeans gaped open and the remains of my premature poo fell out onto her left trainer just as she screamed 'rape' and I got thumped a few times and some of the smaller children started crying so I got thumped a bit more by their angry parents and I ran away towards the toilets but slipped on a half eaten hot dog infront of this girl with nice tits that I really fancy and split my lip open and grazed my hands quite badly so I cried again and wet myself and crawled all the way to my seat as everyone jeered and poked me with their sharp fingers and as I made it to my seat I told the man sitting next to me who I'd never met before but who later said he'll be sitting next to me for the rest of his natural life that he had nice eyes instead of 'that's a nice pie' because I couldn't speak properly due to my swollen lips and tongue so to try and divert any further attention I stood up to start a chorus of that very imaginative 'Allllll-bi-oooooon' chant but again due to my swollen mouth problem actually shouted 'I f*** kids' to the tune of the Some Mothers' Do 'Ave Theme and got beaten up again.

excellent!!!

 

[Hungry Joe]

That is fuckin quality, cryin m'self reading it!!!!

Thanks but it was no laughing matter at the time I can tell you.

 

[FalmerforAll!**]

I arrived late to the Palace game last Sunday as I'd shit myself on the way down the stairs at home so had to spray more deodorant on my jeans so I had to run up that little hill bit and was so out of breath when I got to the turnstiles that I thought I was going to have a heart attack so I cried a bit and cuddled a steward and then let out an enormous burp and dribbled a small bit of phlegm down my chin and onto his jacket as it was only indigestion after all so I said sorry and went in snagging my shitty trousers on the turnsile and ripping them so badly that as I staggered out and fell into the breast of that quite nice girl who sells the Withdean Wager tickets the arse end of my jeans gaped open and the remains of my premature poo fell out onto her left trainer just as she screamed 'rape' and I got thumped a few times and some of the smaller children started crying so I got thumped a bit more by their angry parents and I ran away towards the toilets but slipped on a half eaten hot dog infront of this girl with nice tits that I really fancy and split my lip open and grazed my hands quite badly so I cried again and wet myself and crawled all the way to my seat as everyone jeered and poked me with their sharp fingers and as I made it to my seat I told the man sitting next to me who I'd never met before but who later said he'll be sitting next to me for the rest of his natural life that he had nice eyes instead of 'that's a nice pie' because I couldn't speak properly due to my swollen lips and tongue so to try and divert any further attention I stood up to start a chorus of that very imaginative 'Allllll-bi-oooooon' chant but again due to my swollen mouth problem actually shouted 'I f*** kids' to the tune of the Some Mothers' Do 'Ave Theme and got beaten up again.

That really is the mother of all embarrasing stories!

 

[Richard Whiteley]

Shrewsbury away last game of the season. Drinking since 7am, half time comes around and dying for a piss. Went up to the toilets but a long queue so pissed up against the back wall only for Dick Knight to turn around and say to Perry, "What is that strange man doing?".

Needless to say the lads couldnt stop laughing and got a cheer once i had shaked off.

The 'lads' go with you to watch you pee and shake off?