Ministers rule out smacking ban

[Nibble]

The difference between us Nibble is i've raised children so I can draw on that experience where as you can only dream.

To add. I would hope there is more than that differance between us.

 

[Bozza]

To add. I would hope there is more than that differance between us.

The ability to spell?

 

[Nibble]

The ability to spell?

Nice one.

 

[Bozza]

Nice one.

Thanks. It means a lot coming from you.

 

[British Bulldog]

If the experience you draw on is being so frustrated that you have to hit them then how could I respect that opinion?

So your telling me I only smacked my kids through frustration then Nibble? It's obviosly nothing with teaching them to respect discipline and rules and if they push the boundaries they will be punished. Like I've said maybe one day when you've fathered and raised kids of your own then you'll have a bit of experience to draw on of your own.

 

[British Bulldog]

To add. I would hope there is more than that differance between us.

Like chalk and cheese I would hope Nibble.

 

[Easy 10]

so far the only argument I have heard so far for smacking children is "wait and see" "You have no experience" etc.

Thats not strictly true now, is it.
There were a number of well-reasoned arguments put to you on that other thread. You disagreed with every single one of them, fair enough. But there were unquestionably numerous points put to you other than the "you have no experience" one though.

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

I was going to be a much better parent than my parents and all my kids would turn out to be the best ever. That was the theory.

Many years later, and a grandparent, I appreciate so much what my parents went through and how much of the things they did that annoyed me back then, I do now.

All any of us can do is do our best. my parents made mistakes and I have too. You live & learn and hopefully get better. Even being a good parent doesn't gaurantee your offspring will turn out fine.

In nature, you'll see animals being tormented by their offspring. When they go to far the parent will bite or hit back, the cub learns. In politics there is the Nuclear deterant. Whether you like it or not, it's been a deterant.

Nobody likes pain, it is the ultimate deterant. Like Nuclear weapons, it would be the ultimate failure to use it but the threat seems to have worked.

Many kids these days do not know where the limits are. Parents seem to cave into them especially where tightening the purse strings should work. Grounding kids doesn't work well with parents trying to enforce grounding for weeks, which makes enforcing difficult. If the kids runs out the house what do you do next?

The people who have posted here, against a ban, have, in the main, been fairly reasonable parents. Reasonable force is a reasonable measure and is a world away from abuse.

 

[Easy 10]

Well said Freddie. I make you spot on.

 

[Yorkie]

I was going to be a much better parent than my parents and all my kids would turn out to be the best ever. That was the theory.

Many years later, and a grandparent, I appreciate so much what my parents went through and how much of the things they did that annoyed me back then, I do now.

All any of us can do is do our best. my parents made mistakes and I have too. You live & learn and hopefully get better. Even being a good parent doesn't gaurantee your offspring will turn out fine.

In nature, you'll see animals being tormented by their offspring. When they go to far the parent will bite or hit back, the cub learns. In politics there is the Nuclear deterant. Whether you like it or not, it's been a deterant.

Nobody likes pain, it is the ultimate deterant. Like Nuclear weapons, it would be the ultimate failure to use it but the threat seems to have worked.

Many kids these days do not know where the limits are. Parents seem to cave into them especially where tightening the purse strings should work. Grounding kids doesn't work well with parents trying to enforce grounding for weeks, which makes enforcing difficult. If the kids runs out the house what do you do next?

The people who have posted here, against a ban, have, in the main, been fairly reasonable parents. Reasonable force is a reasonable measure and is a world away from abuse.

Spot on.

Having said that, I read some of the other posts on this subject and I do feel that Nibble has a point. He was badly abused so he is bound to have a more biased view than other people.

 

[Happy Seagull]

So we can still beat our children, does that give me some legal ground to smack the wife abit?

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

So we can still beat our children, does that give me some legal ground to smack the wife abit?

I think you will find beating your children is covered under existing law. As is smacking your wife.

 

[Happy Seagull]

I think you will find beating your children is covered under existing law. As is smacking your wife.

So you're saying carry on as normal?

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

So you're saying carry on as normal?

What is normal ? Abusing your children physically (or mentally) is repugnant - and will be to all members of the board. Beating your children is abuse. What else is there to say on it.

 

[Eggmundo]

I don't think that a 'Ban' on smacking would have any effect on the sort of person liable to abuse their own children anyway.
I understand the law would be easier to enforce in that situation but isn't that why social services 'supposedly' exist?

 

[Buzzer]

So what if they do bring in the no smacking law. Be creative.

Kick 'em, push 'em.

Honestly, people of today have no imagination.

 

[Buzzer]

I was going to be a much better parent than my parents and all my kids would turn out to be the best ever. That was the theory.

Many years later, and a grandparent, I appreciate so much what my parents went through and how much of the things they did that annoyed me back then, I do now.

All any of us can do is do our best. my parents made mistakes and I have too. You live & learn and hopefully get better. Even being a good parent doesn't gaurantee your offspring will turn out fine.

In nature, you'll see animals being tormented by their offspring. When they go to far the parent will bite or hit back, the cub learns. In politics there is the Nuclear deterant. Whether you like it or not, it's been a deterant.

Nobody likes pain, it is the ultimate deterant. Like Nuclear weapons, it would be the ultimate failure to use it but the threat seems to have worked.

Many kids these days do not know where the limits are. Parents seem to cave into them especially where tightening the purse strings should work. Grounding kids doesn't work well with parents trying to enforce grounding for weeks, which makes enforcing difficult. If the kids runs out the house what do you do next?

The people who have posted here, against a ban, have, in the main, been fairly reasonable parents. Reasonable force is a reasonable measure and is a world away from abuse.

Post of the day.

I'd never hit my kids ever ever ever but can see (as Simster posted last week) why it happens and can see the distinction between a tap and all out abuse. True, it does get grey in the middle but thankfully I think I know what's right and what's not and so do most people who choose to smack their children.

99 times out of a hundred, the parent is trying to do the right thing. Let 'em carry on doing that.

 

[binky]

I'm not married but I knowe I will never hit my future wife.

How can you know?
I'm serious. If you have never been married then you cannot know the intensity of emotions that arise from trying to make such a partnership work under trying circumstances.

I don't own a dog but I know I would never kick it if I did.

Similarly...

I have never been a drink driver but my opinion on drink drivers is valid.

I'll sort of concede you that, but really? Never had one and driven? Because depending on circumstances, one is all it takes.

Frankly Nibble, your posturing and holier than thou attitude is kind of wearing. I sympathise withthe fact that you were beaten by an abusive parent. this does not make all parents abusive.

Now if this were a face to face, in a pub or somewhere, I'd either have walked away, or, depending on how drunk I was... fallen asleep.

Grow up... Move on...

And I hope to god you never wield political power.

 

[Lokki 7]

And I hope to god you never wield political power.

I think you might be safe on that front binks, although the thought of Nibble wide eyed and foaming at the mouth jumping up and down on the front bench is quite appealing.

 

[Nibble]

I think you might be safe on that front binks, although the thought of Nibble wide eyed and foaming at the mouth jumping up and down on the front bench is quite appealing.

One day I wil rule, until then we must struggle on!

I concede that at times my ranting on the subject detracts from my argument somewhat but it gets very frustrating when you have a firm belief on something and are told by posters that things will change when I have kids. Now, I am willing to believe that there are some opinions I have about raising children that will most likely be put to the test when my time comes. More than likely there will be things I have never even thought of. However, you must trust me when I say smacking my children is not something I will ever change my mind on.

I agree that there is a vast difference between a beating and the things we have been talking about here. I have seen the difference close up. My father was a beater, when he was out of the picture my Mum still occasionally gave us a slap with a wooden spoon or back of the hand on the thighs. I happen to believe that both of those constitute child abuse, or at the very least an abuse of power.

I sincerely believe that most people abhor ethe idea of smacking their children and would not do so. There have been people on here that are parents and have not smacked their children, yet their input does not seem to equate with the experience argument as they are experienced parents and have not smacked their children.

Whilst I can see perfectly well that a parent has the right to raise a child as they see fit (within reason) I just happen to be of the opinion that smacking is not an option. For some reason a great amount of offence has been taken by this view and this seems to be mainly from the people who have smacked their chldren or who condone it.
My opinion is not solely based on my own childhood experience. I have been in contact with a lot of children in my life (and I realise that does not equal being a parent) from being around the three day nurseries my parents owned, to living with foster children my mother cared for.

Asides all that I believe physical punishment is abhorant when exacted upon anyone. The examples of nuclear deterrant and being given hassle by chavs are totally irrelevant in this argument as self defence and punishment are two seperate issues. Also to say that using smacking as a last resort and thi slets the child know that this is what may happen if they mis-behave is, in my opinion, a ghastly threat to hold over your childs head.

I hope this post doesn't draw too much venom.