Menus That Don't Quite Translate

[Billy Mays]

This one got a mixed reception in my office this afternoon but it made me laugh. From a local Sushi House menu :

Key West Role : Crab salad with shrimp then rape with cucumber.

This begs all sorts of questions but in particular if someone orders this does it mean a consensual act and therefore the question of rape doesn't arise?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

It always amuses me, the amount of vegetarian restaurants that seem happy to advertise Vegetable Chilli con Carne. I mean....how much effort does it take to learn a bit of Spanish?

 

[Lord Bracknell]

There used to be a north African restaurant in Brighton that was famous for advertising:-

HOMOS AND LADIES FINGERS

 

[defrocked priest]

I was at a sushi place named Phuckee You.

honest

 

[Barrel of Fun]

There used to be a north African restaurant in Brighton that was famous for advertising:-

HOMOS AND LADIES FINGERS

Which were more pleasurable? Homos or ladies fingers?

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Starvin

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

Ladies fingers we have in Turkey.

We also have:

Women's thighs
The Imam fainted
Well-behaved meatballs


I wonder what naughty meat balls are like?

 

[Lady Bracknell]

There's some very tasty blokes in Portugal but I wasn't sure I could eat a whole, boiled one...

 

[Gully]

I would be more worried eating a piano...I did try a little bit of one once, the waiter asked what I thought of my meal, I just said grand!

 

[Frutos]

I would be more worried eating a piano...I did try a little bit of one once, the waiter asked what I thought of my meal, I just said grand!

I'd get my coat if I were you...

 

[surrey jim]

apparantly the reason the Vauxhall Nova (or opel) was renamed corsa is due to Nova in spanish meaning 'no-go' or doesnt move!!

 

[The Spanish]

Terre a Terres menu is beyond parody.

Terre a Terre, Vegetarian Restaurant, Brighton

 

[Gully]

I'd get my coat if I were you...

...plus a hat and scarf!

 

[NMH]

I would be more worried eating a piano...I did try a little bit of one once, the waiter asked what I thought of my meal, I just said grand!

That joke was so bad it made me quaver in disgust.

 

[captinsham]

I was at a sushi place named Phuckee You.

honest

 

[El Presidente]

Once had a Russian girlfriend who, in a moment of passion, came out with the comment "f*** me hardly"

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Terre a Terres menu is beyond parody.

Terre a Terre, Vegetarian Restaurant, Brighton

Oh dearie me! I'm astounded by all of it but genuinely baffled by:

Lettuce & Lovage (v/gf ) £13.95
Poached Lettuce and lovage bundles crammed with fresh pea and mint hash, served with English parsley, maize fritters and
Sedlescombe vapour cooked spring vegtables, finished with toasted high barn linseed, chick pea cream and bay foam.

Better Batter and Lemony Yemeni Relish £14.55
Soft buttermilk soaked halloumi dipped in chip shop batter. Served with vodka spiked preserved plum tomatoes, bright fresh pea mint hash with pickled quails egg, sea salad tartar and skinny frites, finished with a taste of lemony Yemeni.

Do people seriously pay this sort of money for this sort of shyte?

 

[Norman Potting]

Seen on a menu a few years back in a Taverna somewhere on the Greek Island of Ithaca - "Bowel Spit". We didn't order it.

 

[Benny Seagull]

 

[vegster]

Oh dearie me! I'm astounded by all of it but genuinely baffled by:

Lettuce & Lovage (v/gf ) £13.95
Poached Lettuce and lovage bundles crammed with fresh pea and mint hash, served with English parsley, maize fritters and
Sedlescombe vapour cooked spring vegtables, finished with toasted high barn linseed, chick pea cream and bay foam.

Better Batter and Lemony Yemeni Relish £14.55
Soft buttermilk soaked halloumi dipped in chip shop batter. Served with vodka spiked preserved plum tomatoes, bright fresh pea mint hash with pickled quails egg, sea salad tartar and skinny frites, finished with a taste of lemony Yemeni.

Do people seriously pay this sort of money for this sort of shyte?

You can eat it but, you can't live on it surely ?