Memorable Train Announcements...

[Baron Pepperpot]

Delightful one from my commute days:

'We are sorry for the delay to the 17.32 from London Bridge. This was due to a severe fatality at Balcombe...'

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Those London Underground "good service" announcements are baffling. Why the need to inform you if they are running their service as advertised?

 

[highway61]

I worked my last shift at H Heath station on a very snowy day in 1979, trains were all to cock and in my frustration I announced over the tannoy that "the train on this platform will call at.....Balcombe, err three bridges, errr F**k knows....just get on it" and put my lovely BR cap down, marched of to the Liverpool Arms and called it a day

 

[Return of the Rev]

i worked my last shift at h heath station on a very snowy day in 1979, trains were all to cock and in my frustration i announced over the tannoy that "the train on this platform will call at.....balcombe, err three bridges, errr f**k knows....just get on it" and put my lovely br cap down, marched of to the liverpool arms and called it a day

How much was the jukebox around that time,recall the bar billiards and music seemed very cheap in the Liverpool Arms

 

[The Birdman]

Liverpool arms Cheapest pub in Haywards Heath we used it lunch times 1970s when working at American Express old Jim the landlord would smile at you with no teeth. I also think they had strange noises coming from one of the rooms a secret society!! Something to do with Buffalos It was a Inn Coup pub I Believe A good old fashion pub. How you doing highway PM me.

 

[Return of the Rev]

England v scotland 96 at baker street,totally mobbed out,could the two australian gentlemen with the surf boards please exit the the underground
They did not judge the tension that day and the fact that a surf board in the back might upset some of our more colourful sports fans

 

[KJP]

"Welcome to the deluxe shuttle from hove to Brighton"

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

I am sorry that we are being held at East Croydon the driver does not know the way to Littlehampton so we are waiting a replacement driver.

 

[Pinkie Brown]

Last Week: "Would the lazy conductor contact the hard working driver please."

 

[Superphil]

June 1985, came out of Euston (I think) underground station into the main concourse, the announcer read out some train times, and at the end said:

"and Becker won the Wimbledon".

That's exactly how he said it, and I've never forgotton it. There was a little cheer from the passangers and we all went on our way.

 

[pasty]

Coming home from Victoria a couple of months ago, my train thundered through Preston Park only to come to a juddering halt shortly after. Remained stationery for a few minutes after which a rather sheepish driver came on and (rather worryingly) said "Apologies to anyone that wanted to alight the train at Preston Park, I wasn't concentrating and forgot to stop"

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Delightful one from my commute days:

'We are sorry for the delay to the 17.32 from London Bridge. This was due to a severe fatality at Balcombe...'

Slightly OT, but I suspect I remember that incident, I was on the train that hit the guy at Balcombe.

I'm sure I have loads from my years of commuting, but an air one I remember clearly was the captain coming on the tannoy when we were half way across the atlantic to say "Ladies and gentleen, we are now cruising at an altitude of 37 feet"

 

[pasty]

Another one on my daily commute, we stopped just outside Brighton station for a couple of minutes, after which the guard came on and said something along the lines of "Apologies for holding outside Brighton ladies and gentlemen, but we were 2 minutes early, and we couldn't possibly allow that to happen, and we get into more trouble for that than we do for being late"

 

[joeinbrighton]

Travelling on a train to Manchester a few years ago, the train came to a halt in Cheshire between Stoke and Macclesfield. After 3-4 minutes, the driver made an announcement - 'Sorry for the delay. There appears to be a cow on the line'. When the train did get moving again, aforementioned cow was spotted in close proximity.

 

[BobbySmith]

West Worthing a few years back, waiting for the late arrival of the London bridge train, the announcer said 'sorry about the late arrival of the 6:50 to London Bridge, but the driver had a row with his wife and was late at Littlehampton' !!!

 

[Barham's tash]

On the underground last summer stuck in a tunnel on a Monday morning.

"Morning ladies and gentlemen, apologies for the delay this morning in this particularly hot tunnel, to help pass the time if you look to your left imagine the view is one of a turquoise blue see and a hot sunny beach. At least that's what I'm going to do to ward off the drudgery of another inevitable dull Monday."

 

[Lord Bracknell]

One from BR days. "Welcome to all those passengers who joined at Stafford. This train will call at Crewe, Chester, a lot of places with unpronouncable names in North Wales, and Holyhead".

 

[Barham's tash]

*sea even

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Here's one from a leaflet I remember being issued by the old BR Cross-Country line, a few Christmases back.

On 27 December, the 0915 train from Brighton to Manchester (Piccadilly) will start from Portsmouth Harbour and run to Liverpool (Lime Street).

It probably made some sense to passengers in Banbury and to the BR signalling staff, but not to anyone who wanted to visit friends or family in Manchester.

 

[kevo]

Heard at East Croydon a few years back: "Because of a fault with the announcements system, there will be no announcements".