Jack Straw
I look nothing like him!
I found this in my archives. For those dissappointed with missing out on a trip to Gillingham (for the moment), here's a little bit of nostalgia!
Gillingham Away Report – 14th September 2007.
A refurbished Livingstone pub welcomed us with silver platters of the finest fayre, laden with onion rings, roast potatoes, small pieces of sausage and a savory dip to dunk this crap in. Some of our less slim following cleared the lot in a matter of minutes, much to their credit. There is no such thing as free. This was probably laid on as a thank you for the thousands of pounds we spent between us ten years ago – yes, ten years ago, and continued to do so every other week for eight months of the year, for two years. This probably also explains the newish looking carpet – it may just have been cleaned? The replica shirts adorning the ceiling save having to paint or paper it. Of course, we looked for a Brighton one. We found one, with the Donatello sponsor. This was indeed from that era ten years ago.
The singing was good in the pub. My favourite number was, “We’ve got O’Callaghan, you’ve got a caravan”.
In the ground, you are seated in a temporary green-seated stand with no roof. It is just like being at home. Although a healthy away following had made the effort to get there, there was as much noise as at a First World War mute veterans’ reunion held in a library. Just like home. Perhaps there was something in the onion rings, roast potatoes and bits of sausage?
Thank heavens for being able to enlighten you with the lead up to the game, as when the match started, there was ninety minutes of nothing to report, apart from their goal.
El-Abd filled the left back berth due to Lynch being out injured, Martot – Tom, as some fans affectionately call him, started right mid-field in preference to Robinson, and Savage partnered Forster up front, otherwise it was the usual suspects.
Whing made a few sojourns up field in the early part of the match, but the final ball was never the best.
Gillingham’s Sodje, who played with a skunk design bandana on his head, had a great game. It was our performance that stank. He and their Cox were playing with a resolve that meant it was going to take something special to score, although a good side would have taken this lot to the cleaners.
Gillingham were reduced to a couple of long range shots which Kuipers, unrecognizable with his fetching new hair do, dealt comfortably with.
We had a fair amount of possession, but if you don’t do anything with it, nothing happens.
Our half-time entertainment was to guess the missing words that the pitch-side announcer missed out, either purposely or it may have been due to his faulty microphone. Anyone remember Norman Collier? He was a comedian who looked like Gordon Strachan, who did an act with his fully functional microphone making it sound like it kept cutting out. This bloke was funnier, but he didn’t mean to be.
The same eleven came out for the second half, and we were treated to more of the same.
After twenty minutes, Robinson came on in a straight swap for Martot and once again looked very sprightly.
Still not a lot to get excited about and Alex Revel replaced Bas Savage with a quarter of an hour remaining. He looked like he would pose more of a threat than a subdued Bas.
As the match ebbed away, we were starting to believe we would be going home with our first away point and away clean sheet of the season when disaster struck.
A long ball over the top from Nicky Southall was aimed at Delroy Facey. Although tightly marked by Elphick, he managed to get just in front of him and take the ball skillfully on his knee without breaking his stride. The ball ran nicely towards goal, and even with Elphick almost on top of him, he finished beautifully with the outside of his right foot just inside the desperately diving Kuipers’s left post.
Cue that sickening scene of thousands of opposing fans doing the “Waddle-Butcher” air-punching hand jive. Do do do do. Do do do do etc etc. F*** O** your W*****s!!!! There’s not much in the world I hate – apart from, you know, that club in Croydon, and radishes, but this practice should have been banned along with smoking inside football grounds at the start of the season.
The referee, Ray Lee – Ray Namend more like, had an unfeasibly large head, all out of proportion with the rest of his body, which housed it seemed, a brain the size of a lentil. Perhaps he overheard some of the unkind comments hurled his way, and got his revenge by hardly giving us one decision all afternoon. Savage virtually had his shirt torn off his back. No free kick. A low cross towards the near post from Robinson soon after he came on was palmed away goalkeeper stylee by a defender. Penalty! Every Albion supporter rose together as one. Bighead said no. Another cross soon after was challenged by two Gillingham defenders who leapt with arms up which the ball hit. Penalty! Again, every Albion supporter rose together as one. Again, Bighead said no.
Forster, who had been marked out of the game actually got the ball at his feet ten yards out but was forced wide by a couple of defenders, and only managed to shoot wide.
Butters went off virtually on ninety minutes to a polite round of applause from both sets of fans, to be replaced by Adam Hinshelwood. He couldn’t have returned at a more crucial time with Lynch out for a couple of months.
The board went up with four minutes of added time to be played. Gill’s fans started whistling for full time, and our players played at last with a bit of urgency but to no avail. Facey even hit Kuipers’s right post right towards the very end.
After the Millwall performance last Friday, we all thought we would get three points today. The most we deserved was one.
The statistics say it all really. Albion shots 3, Gillingham shots, 6. So, we managed an effort on goal every half an hour!
Miraculously, the way the other results went mean that we remain sixth in the table.
The last Almanac report I did was for the West Ham cup game. I have copied and pasted the last sentence from that:
“Still, at least in the evening, the chicken tikka madras at the “Ganges” was a winner”.
Gillingham Away Report – 14th September 2007.
A refurbished Livingstone pub welcomed us with silver platters of the finest fayre, laden with onion rings, roast potatoes, small pieces of sausage and a savory dip to dunk this crap in. Some of our less slim following cleared the lot in a matter of minutes, much to their credit. There is no such thing as free. This was probably laid on as a thank you for the thousands of pounds we spent between us ten years ago – yes, ten years ago, and continued to do so every other week for eight months of the year, for two years. This probably also explains the newish looking carpet – it may just have been cleaned? The replica shirts adorning the ceiling save having to paint or paper it. Of course, we looked for a Brighton one. We found one, with the Donatello sponsor. This was indeed from that era ten years ago.
The singing was good in the pub. My favourite number was, “We’ve got O’Callaghan, you’ve got a caravan”.
In the ground, you are seated in a temporary green-seated stand with no roof. It is just like being at home. Although a healthy away following had made the effort to get there, there was as much noise as at a First World War mute veterans’ reunion held in a library. Just like home. Perhaps there was something in the onion rings, roast potatoes and bits of sausage?
Thank heavens for being able to enlighten you with the lead up to the game, as when the match started, there was ninety minutes of nothing to report, apart from their goal.
El-Abd filled the left back berth due to Lynch being out injured, Martot – Tom, as some fans affectionately call him, started right mid-field in preference to Robinson, and Savage partnered Forster up front, otherwise it was the usual suspects.
Whing made a few sojourns up field in the early part of the match, but the final ball was never the best.
Gillingham’s Sodje, who played with a skunk design bandana on his head, had a great game. It was our performance that stank. He and their Cox were playing with a resolve that meant it was going to take something special to score, although a good side would have taken this lot to the cleaners.
Gillingham were reduced to a couple of long range shots which Kuipers, unrecognizable with his fetching new hair do, dealt comfortably with.
We had a fair amount of possession, but if you don’t do anything with it, nothing happens.
Our half-time entertainment was to guess the missing words that the pitch-side announcer missed out, either purposely or it may have been due to his faulty microphone. Anyone remember Norman Collier? He was a comedian who looked like Gordon Strachan, who did an act with his fully functional microphone making it sound like it kept cutting out. This bloke was funnier, but he didn’t mean to be.
The same eleven came out for the second half, and we were treated to more of the same.
After twenty minutes, Robinson came on in a straight swap for Martot and once again looked very sprightly.
Still not a lot to get excited about and Alex Revel replaced Bas Savage with a quarter of an hour remaining. He looked like he would pose more of a threat than a subdued Bas.
As the match ebbed away, we were starting to believe we would be going home with our first away point and away clean sheet of the season when disaster struck.
A long ball over the top from Nicky Southall was aimed at Delroy Facey. Although tightly marked by Elphick, he managed to get just in front of him and take the ball skillfully on his knee without breaking his stride. The ball ran nicely towards goal, and even with Elphick almost on top of him, he finished beautifully with the outside of his right foot just inside the desperately diving Kuipers’s left post.
Cue that sickening scene of thousands of opposing fans doing the “Waddle-Butcher” air-punching hand jive. Do do do do. Do do do do etc etc. F*** O** your W*****s!!!! There’s not much in the world I hate – apart from, you know, that club in Croydon, and radishes, but this practice should have been banned along with smoking inside football grounds at the start of the season.
The referee, Ray Lee – Ray Namend more like, had an unfeasibly large head, all out of proportion with the rest of his body, which housed it seemed, a brain the size of a lentil. Perhaps he overheard some of the unkind comments hurled his way, and got his revenge by hardly giving us one decision all afternoon. Savage virtually had his shirt torn off his back. No free kick. A low cross towards the near post from Robinson soon after he came on was palmed away goalkeeper stylee by a defender. Penalty! Every Albion supporter rose together as one. Bighead said no. Another cross soon after was challenged by two Gillingham defenders who leapt with arms up which the ball hit. Penalty! Again, every Albion supporter rose together as one. Again, Bighead said no.
Forster, who had been marked out of the game actually got the ball at his feet ten yards out but was forced wide by a couple of defenders, and only managed to shoot wide.
Butters went off virtually on ninety minutes to a polite round of applause from both sets of fans, to be replaced by Adam Hinshelwood. He couldn’t have returned at a more crucial time with Lynch out for a couple of months.
The board went up with four minutes of added time to be played. Gill’s fans started whistling for full time, and our players played at last with a bit of urgency but to no avail. Facey even hit Kuipers’s right post right towards the very end.
After the Millwall performance last Friday, we all thought we would get three points today. The most we deserved was one.
The statistics say it all really. Albion shots 3, Gillingham shots, 6. So, we managed an effort on goal every half an hour!
Miraculously, the way the other results went mean that we remain sixth in the table.
The last Almanac report I did was for the West Ham cup game. I have copied and pasted the last sentence from that:
“Still, at least in the evening, the chicken tikka madras at the “Ganges” was a winner”.
| Kuipers | 6 |
| Whing | 7 |
| Elphick | 7 |
| Butters | 7 |
| El-Abd | 7 |
| Martot | 6 |
| Hammond | 7 |
| O’Callaghan | 8(MOM) |
| Cox | 6 |
| Forster | 4 |
| Savage | 4 |
