[Finance] Legal advice - Divorced dad

[Uh_huh_him]

Wonder whether anyone can give me some sensible advice

I'm a divorcee.
Clean break divorce, finalised 12 years ago when the kids were small.
Terms of the divorce were that I would pay maintenance until the kids finished education.
The wife kept the house while we were separated and then sold up when we divorced because she was re-marrying and they bought a house together.
She got 60% of the profit from the sale as she was the "Primary parent" but I still had the kids 3 nights a week, as we both carried on living in South London.

I bought a house too and moved in with my partner and step-daughter.
Kids stayed with us 3 nights a week until they hit older teenage years and had their own plans at weekends.

She kicked my Autistic son out at 19 and he moved in with us for a while ( I stopped paying maintenance) He has since moved out (now 21)
I have restarted paying half of my maintenance directly to my daughter.

My Daughter is just starting Uni and my ex has decided to sell up and move away from the area.
My ex has emailed me today saying that I now need to pay half of Katie's rent as she has nowhere to live.
I can't afford that so I have said she can move in with me as the only viable option. My partner isn't particularly impressed with that idea but understands.

Although it's not relevant, my ex has no real money issues - she bought an 8-bedroom sea-front house in Littlehampton 18 months ago and is about to sell a 5-bedroom house in London.
I have no idea how much of it is mortgage and how much is profit, but the fact they could own both houses at the same time, leads me to believe they are comfortably off.

In my eyes, my ex is breaching the terms of our divorce. i.e provide a family home for the kids until they finished education.
She was supposed to be providing a family home for the kids, but instead she has kicked them both out and sold the house for a profit.
My daughter doesn't know whether she is coming or going.
The plan was originally that my ex was going to buy a flat for my daughter and her friend to rent from her, but that plan appears to be up in the air now.

I was thinking of asking her for the 10% extra she got from the sale of the family home, to help fund rent on a flat for a couple of years for my daughter.
That feels like the morally right solution to this to me, but I'm way too close to it.

Does anyone know where I stand legally?
My guess is not great.

 

[Rookie]

Without wishing to belittle any advice you receive on here, my suggestion is seek proper legal advice.

 

[Uh_huh_him]

Without wishing to belittle any advice you receive on here, my suggestion is seek proper legal advice.

Yeah I probably will - but I know how much my Divorce cost me and any informed advice, before i go down that particular route, would be helpful

 

[Pavilionaire]

Some missing important information here, i.e. why is your ex selling an 8-bedroom house in Littlehampton she bought just 18 months ago? Maybe she isn't as well off as you think. Also, where is your daughter going to Uni, and how far away is your ex moving?

 

[AmexRuislip]

Wonder whether anyone can give me some sensible advice

I'm a divorcee.
Clean break divorce, finalised 12 years ago when the kids were small.
Terms of the divorce were that I would pay maintenance until the kids finished education.
The wife kept the house while we were separated and then sold up when we divorced because she was re-marrying and they bought a house together.
She got 60% of the profit from the sale as she was the "Primary parent" but I still had the kids 3 nights a week, as we both carried on living in South London.

I bought a house too and moved in with my partner and step-daughter.
Kids stayed with us 3 nights a week until they hit older teenage years and had their own plans at weekends.

She kicked my Autistic son out at 19 and he moved in with us for a while ( I stopped paying maintenance) He has since moved out (now 21)
I have restarted paying half of my maintenance directly to my daughter.

My Daughter is just starting Uni and my ex has decided to sell up and move away from the area.
My ex has emailed me today saying that I now need to pay half of Katie's rent as she has nowhere to live.
I can't afford that so I have said she can move in with me as the only viable option. My partner isn't particularly impressed with that idea but understands.

Although it's not relevant, my ex has no real money issues - she bought an 8-bedroom sea-front house in Littlehampton 18 months ago and is about to sell a 5-bedroom house in London.
I have no idea how much of it is mortgage and how much is profit, but the fact they could own both houses at the same time, leads me to believe they are comfortably off.

In my eyes, my ex is breaching the terms of our divorce. i.e provide a family home for the kids until they finished education.
She was supposed to be providing a family home for the kids, but instead she has kicked them both out and sold the house for a profit.
My daughter doesn't know whether she is coming or going.
The plan was originally that my ex was going to buy a flat for my daughter and her friend to rent from her, but that plan appears to be up in the air now.

I was thinking of asking her for the 10% extra she got from the sale of the family home, to help fund rent on a flat for a couple of years for my daughter.
That feels like the morally right solution to this to me, but I'm way too close to it.

Does anyone know where I stand legally?
My guess is not great.

Sorry to hear yr news.
If you belong to a union, say Unite, they can offer you free legal advice.
Or even Citizens Advice.

 

[Zeberdi]

removed

 

[Super Sub]

It may be worth you seeing if you can get a free initial consultation with an appropriate legal company. Try and sound out what their initial thoughts are and what sort of costs are involved should you wish to challenge the ways things lay.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

A colleague of mine used this practice which aim to help fathers in divorce situations. They charge £150 for a 1 hour consultation. I’ve no idea how good they are, but it’s an option
https://cordellcordell.co.uk/location/central-london/

 

[Lenny Rider]

Wonder whether anyone can give me some sensible advice

I'm a divorcee.
Clean break divorce, finalised 12 years ago when the kids were small.
Terms of the divorce were that I would pay maintenance until the kids finished education.
The wife kept the house while we were separated and then sold up when we divorced because she was re-marrying and they bought a house together.
She got 60% of the profit from the sale as she was the "Primary parent" but I still had the kids 3 nights a week, as we both carried on living in South London.

I bought a house too and moved in with my partner and step-daughter.
Kids stayed with us 3 nights a week until they hit older teenage years and had their own plans at weekends.

She kicked my Autistic son out at 19 and he moved in with us for a while ( I stopped paying maintenance) He has since moved out (now 21)
I have restarted paying half of my maintenance directly to my daughter.

My Daughter is just starting Uni and my ex has decided to sell up and move away from the area.
My ex has emailed me today saying that I now need to pay half of Katie's rent as she has nowhere to live.
I can't afford that so I have said she can move in with me as the only viable option. My partner isn't particularly impressed with that idea but understands.

Although it's not relevant, my ex has no real money issues - she bought an 8-bedroom sea-front house in Littlehampton 18 months ago and is about to sell a 5-bedroom house in London.
I have no idea how much of it is mortgage and how much is profit, but the fact they could own both houses at the same time, leads me to believe they are comfortably off.

In my eyes, my ex is breaching the terms of our divorce. i.e provide a family home for the kids until they finished education.
She was supposed to be providing a family home for the kids, but instead she has kicked them both out and sold the house for a profit.
My daughter doesn't know whether she is coming or going.
The plan was originally that my ex was going to buy a flat for my daughter and her friend to rent from her, but that plan appears to be up in the air now.

I was thinking of asking her for the 10% extra she got from the sale of the family home, to help fund rent on a flat for a couple of years for my daughter.
That feels like the morally right solution to this to me, but I'm way too close to it.

Does anyone know where I stand legally?
My guess is not great.

Contact Rachel Horner at Rosemary Hensby Law in Goring, she’s the Lionel Messi of Divorce, a Rottweiler in the nicest possible way, but underneath a lovely lady and an Albion fan. (1901 East member as well)

 

[Uh_huh_him]

Some missing important information here, i.e. why is your ex selling an 8-bedroom house in Littlehampton she bought just 18 months ago? Maybe she isn't as well off as you think. Also, where is your daughter going to Uni, and how far away is your ex moving?

No she's selling the 5 bed in London - She is now living full time down in Littlehampton, which dhe bought 18 mths ago, whilst still owning the 5 bed in London,
I assume she wouldn't have got a mortgage on the LA house, if there was abig mortgage on the london home.

Daughter is going to Uni in London. The original plan was D was going to carry on in the family home until she finished Uni.
Her Mum has changed plans and is now going to move down to LA full time.

I can understand that my ex wants to sell up as D doesn't need a 5 bed house.
Just not clear why the financial cost of D's rent now needs to be borne equally.
That wasn't part of our divorce,

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Get legal advice but I thought it usual for the deal to be in respect of ordinary education up to and including 6th form (ie age 18) and not further education which is legally the responsibility of the adult student. Otherwise your daughter could forever be taking degrees, never work, and you would be paying throughout your lifetime.
good luck sorting it out.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Wonder whether anyone can give me some sensible advice

I'm a divorcee.
Clean break divorce, finalised 12 years ago when the kids were small.
Terms of the divorce were that I would pay maintenance until the kids finished education.
The wife kept the house while we were separated and then sold up when we divorced because she was re-marrying and they bought a house together.
She got 60% of the profit from the sale as she was the "Primary parent" but I still had the kids 3 nights a week, as we both carried on living in South London.

I bought a house too and moved in with my partner and step-daughter.
Kids stayed with us 3 nights a week until they hit older teenage years and had their own plans at weekends.

She kicked my Autistic son out at 19 and he moved in with us for a while ( I stopped paying maintenance) He has since moved out (now 21)
I have restarted paying half of my maintenance directly to my daughter.

My Daughter is just starting Uni and my ex has decided to sell up and move away from the area.
My ex has emailed me today saying that I now need to pay half of Katie's rent as she has nowhere to live.
I can't afford that so I have said she can move in with me as the only viable option. My partner isn't particularly impressed with that idea but understands.

Although it's not relevant, my ex has no real money issues - she bought an 8-bedroom sea-front house in Littlehampton 18 months ago and is about to sell a 5-bedroom house in London.
I have no idea how much of it is mortgage and how much is profit, but the fact they could own both houses at the same time, leads me to believe they are comfortably off.

In my eyes, my ex is breaching the terms of our divorce. i.e provide a family home for the kids until they finished education.
She was supposed to be providing a family home for the kids, but instead she has kicked them both out and sold the house for a profit.
My daughter doesn't know whether she is coming or going.
The plan was originally that my ex was going to buy a flat for my daughter and her friend to rent from her, but that plan appears to be up in the air now.

I was thinking of asking her for the 10% extra she got from the sale of the family home, to help fund rent on a flat for a couple of years for my daughter.
That feels like the morally right solution to this to me, but I'm way too close to it.

Does anyone know where I stand legally?
My guess is not great.

https://www.mcalisterfamilylaw.co.u...maintenance-when-my-child-attends-university/

You are not obliged to pay anything.

 

[forumwayseagull]

Get legal advice but I thought it usual for the deal to be in respect of ordinary education up to and including 6th form (ie age 18) and not further education which is legally the responsibility of the adult student. Otherwise your daughter could forever be taking degrees, never work, and you would be paying throughout your lifetime.
good luck sorting it out.

That's how it worked for me re maintenance.. That was the cut off end of 6th form...

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Bit late but don't get married or have kids.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Get legal advice but I thought it usual for the deal to be in respect of ordinary education up to and including 6th form (ie age 18) and not further education which is legally the responsibility of the adult student. Otherwise your daughter could forever be taking degrees, never work, and you would be paying throughout your lifetime.
good luck sorting it out.

I agree. My ex never paid a penny when my daughter went to university.
You may want to help your daughter voluntarily but that’s between you and her. Get legal advice to confirm this is the case.

 

[JOLovegrove]

As a fairly recent student myself, and the son of divorced parents, I would be surprised if you HAD to help with university accommodation. As someone said, obviously you are free to support in any way you can.

Out of curiosity, is she taking a student loan to cover tuition and accommodation?

 

[Justice]

Contact Rachel Horner at Rosemary Hensby Law in Goring, she’s the Lionel Messi of Divorce, a Rottweiler in the nicest possible way, but underneath a lovely lady and an Albion fan. (1901 East member as well)

Does she sit in the corner?

 

[Uh_huh_him]

That's how it worked for me re maintenance. That was the cut off end of 6th form...

ours was the end of tertiary education or 21 years old.

As a fairly recent student myself, and the son of divorced parents, I would be surprised if you HAD to help with university accommodation. As someone said, obviously you are free to support in any way you can.

Out of curiosity, is she taking a student loan to cover tuition and accommodation?

I only had to pay maintenance for the children until they finished their first full degree course or when they turned 21, whichever came sooner.
The change to paying for accomodation is something my ex is now seeking, due to her wanting to sell up and move away.

My Daughter is also receiving student loans for tuition and living expenses but can only get 6k which won't cover all of her costs.
My ex is seeking to increase the maintenance agreement to cover these additional costs.

 

[Papak]

Question answered in the above post - ignore.

 

[Uh_huh_him]

Having slept on it, I think I know the way forward.
Which is to sit down with my ex and workout precisely what is required and how best to divide the costs.
If she wants to play hardball and try and stick me with an unreasonable share of it, then I will seek legal advice,

Always useful to get some considered responses from people who aren't emotionally involved.
So thanks for all responses.