Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
In an exclusive interview with Randy Impaler, Andrei Kanchelskis last night revealed his burning desire to pull on the famous blue and white stripes of Brighton and Hove Albion, and represent them throughout the upcoming Division Two campaign. Fighting back tears, an emotional Andrei opened up his heart to the Argus, and talked candidly about the trials and tribulations of his life career, and how he would love to finish his playing days here on the south coast.
"I come from a very poor background" said Andrei. "The streets were full of crime. I could not walk down the road without being abused and spat upon. The shops were nothing more than empty slums, with boarded up windows and drug addicts laying in the deli counters". Andrei's voice faultered at this point, reduced to nothing more than a whisper as he clearly struggled to regain his composure. "My wife and sister were regularly abused, with gangland pimps trying to recruit them into their filthy whorehouses. Human excrement littered the gutters, it was like living in the 18th century. Everywhere I looked there was death and decay. I knew I was destined for better things, but even after I finally escaped Manchester, I found Glasgow was only slightly better".
Andrei, now living in East Grinstead, was visibly lifted when discussing his current home town. "East Grinstead is everything I could ever want in a city" said Andrei. "The whole place has a real buzz about it. From the immaculate streets, the cosmopolitan restaurants, the trendy bars and the breathtaking architecture, it is such a beautiful, cultural city. If I want excitement, there is the Bluebell Railway. If I want scenary, there are some nice trees. If I want the thrill of speed, there is the nearby A23. What else could I possibly want ?
When the interview moved on to the Albion, Andrei could barely contain himself."To play for Brighton has always been my dream"
he said."There is such a style and class about them. In the dressing room at Old Trafford, Mr Ferguson would always talk about playing football the right way, and exciting the fans. He would constantly refer to the Albion, and hold them up as the example, the pinnacle that we should all aspire to. Of course, we could never quite emulate that fully at Manchester United, but I like to think we came close".
With that, Andrei pulled on his Skint sweater and headed back to the training field to join the rest of the squad.
"So, will you be signing up then Andrei ?" I called.
"If Mr Coppell will have me, I would be honoured....honoured" he said, and with a smile, wiped a small tear from his cheek.
Lets hope his dream comes true.
"I come from a very poor background" said Andrei. "The streets were full of crime. I could not walk down the road without being abused and spat upon. The shops were nothing more than empty slums, with boarded up windows and drug addicts laying in the deli counters". Andrei's voice faultered at this point, reduced to nothing more than a whisper as he clearly struggled to regain his composure. "My wife and sister were regularly abused, with gangland pimps trying to recruit them into their filthy whorehouses. Human excrement littered the gutters, it was like living in the 18th century. Everywhere I looked there was death and decay. I knew I was destined for better things, but even after I finally escaped Manchester, I found Glasgow was only slightly better".
Andrei, now living in East Grinstead, was visibly lifted when discussing his current home town. "East Grinstead is everything I could ever want in a city" said Andrei. "The whole place has a real buzz about it. From the immaculate streets, the cosmopolitan restaurants, the trendy bars and the breathtaking architecture, it is such a beautiful, cultural city. If I want excitement, there is the Bluebell Railway. If I want scenary, there are some nice trees. If I want the thrill of speed, there is the nearby A23. What else could I possibly want ?
When the interview moved on to the Albion, Andrei could barely contain himself."To play for Brighton has always been my dream"
he said."There is such a style and class about them. In the dressing room at Old Trafford, Mr Ferguson would always talk about playing football the right way, and exciting the fans. He would constantly refer to the Albion, and hold them up as the example, the pinnacle that we should all aspire to. Of course, we could never quite emulate that fully at Manchester United, but I like to think we came close".
With that, Andrei pulled on his Skint sweater and headed back to the training field to join the rest of the squad.
"So, will you be signing up then Andrei ?" I called.
"If Mr Coppell will have me, I would be honoured....honoured" he said, and with a smile, wiped a small tear from his cheek.
Lets hope his dream comes true.
