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Joke du jour
- Thread starter Muzzy
- Start date
NMH
Banned
[yt]rNVcSIZyBuE[/yt]
Seagull on the wing
New member
Paddy was missing his wife for 3 days. Police phone him and say,"We have found a part of a woman,we think it may be your wife,would you please come down to the coroners office and try to identify the remains. Paddy finishes his Guinness and goes to the office. "I'm afraid we only have her head but maybe you could recognize her!" Paddy goes through to the morgue and the coroner takes off the sheet and holds up just a womans head..."Is this her ,"said the coroner. Paddy looks and exclaims" Bejeezus No,She was'nt that tall!!....ok,I'll get my coat.
jevs
Well-known member
Heavy night in the Tally Ho Muzzy ? lol
- Thread starter
- #7
No mate, I just like the silly ones lol
Well I had a chucklette, Muzzy.
METALMICKY
Well-known member
- Jan 30, 2004
- 6,848
I've just got an A Level in Cheerleading. Piece of piss as I only had one class and straight away they just gave me an A! 
rocker959
Well-known member
My wife wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat. My mate told me that they are really expensive. So I bought two normal cats and glued their heads together.
sydney
tinky ****in winky
Like.
rocker959
Well-known member
I really don't understand why everyone is so excited by the Olympic Torch Relay through Sussex. If I wanted to see a flame that captured the hearts of all Brighton fans I'd set fire to Selhurst Park.
You should have just left it at one joke.
rocker959
Well-known member
Sawwwwy xx
maltaseagull
Well-known member
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started canvassing the neighbourhoods.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about £50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes ."
A short time later, the blonde handywoman came to the door to collect her money. "You finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats - no extra charge."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50 and handed it to her……….
"….and by the way," the blonde added ... "it's not a Porch -- it's an Audi."
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about £50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes ."
A short time later, the blonde handywoman came to the door to collect her money. "You finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats - no extra charge."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50 and handed it to her……….
"….and by the way," the blonde added ... "it's not a Porch -- it's an Audi."
rouseytastic
Well-known member
2 fish in a tank.........etc etc