I've found the perfect, easiest job, in the world.

[Stat Brother]

I'm jacking it all in, feed up the stresses, strains and pressure that is involved in putting a letter through a letterbox.

Now that I have found the greatest job ever, which has been staring me in the face for months/years.

I'm going compile polls and opinions which basically involve me stating the feckin obvious, and get paid for rambling on in the media.

On the back of:-
'Children who have a lot of excerise sleep better'.

I was woken today by some woman, on the radio, spouting on that:-
'Children who come from a loving but disciplined family, achieve better at school'.
'Cos, you know, they can concentrate more, and understand interaction better, innit'.

 

[skipper734]

You should apply to the Quango Appointments Board. They have lots of jobs like that.
You should preferably have a degree in the Statement of the Blind Bleeding Obvious. Be prepared to receive a large salary and expenses for talking a bit, and considering some obvious problems that you will have no power to fix. Sorted.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

You could try writing an article about football fans. Try this title ...

"We're a happy bunch of fans watching our team play in Europe and sitting comfortably in the top half of the Premier League".



You could sell it to the Liverpool Echo.

 

[aberllefenni]

As a summer job,aged 16, I was a hod carrier for an arthritic brickie. is it a contender?

 

[desprateseagull]

surely top gear presenter, or judge at wet tshirt / playboy mud wrestling bout must deserve a thought..

ok, pants back on now please!

 

[glasfryn]

Fergies stress manager

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

As a summer job,aged 16, I was a hod carrier for an arthritic brickie. is it a contender?

Good one! "slow down son".

 

[snowdrop]

I always wanted to be a wind sock erector, sat on a quite airfield watching the world go by, but then you get those damn noisey jets going pass, but no job is perfect.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Cheryl Cole's shampoo holder and towel gatherer ... I'd give it a go!

 

[Nigella's Cream Pie]

Cheryl Cole's shampoo holder and towel gatherer ... I'd give it a go!

Get in the queue behind Simon Cowell

 

[Spanish Seagulls]

I did a load of market research groups.what a doddle & 50 a pop for no more than 2 hours with refreshments thrown in.

There was a few of us & we used to do loads of them..................well 2 a week every week for a year or so. Easy money.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Get in the queue behind Simon Cowell

Now I said that a few weeks ago and was faced with a barrage of "Why, he's gay!", surely we can all see he's in love with Mrs Cole?

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I did a load of market research groups.what a doddle & 50 a pop for no more than 2 hours with refreshments thrown in.

There was a few of us & we used to do loads of them..................well 2 a week every week for a year or so. Easy money.

Nice work if you can get it eh?

When I was a student my mates mum ran a MR business in Liverpool. Quite a few of us in the "18-25 demographic" used to get taken to watch films and concerts, we got fed plied with bottled lager and paid "expenses" in return for filling out a questionnaire at the end...Now THAT would be a fulfilling career.