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Is there such a thing as a perfect murder?



pastafarian

Well-known member
Sep 4, 2011
11,902
Sussex
Seeing as NSC is invaluable for advice on pretty much anything.

Just finished prediction league scenario No. 3227 with my old man over a few beers and he came out with “shi(r)t, with this one we could end up in the play offs”

Staying quite calm it did get me thinking however, is there such a thing as a perfect murder? Is it possible to cheat forensics? Has anyone got away with murder? Whats the best way to dispose of a body that cant be traced?

Would welcome input from anyone been in similar circumstances
 
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whitelion

New member
Dec 16, 2003
12,828
Southwick
Seeing as NSC is invaluable for advice on pretty much anything.

Just finished prediction league scenario No. 3227 with my old man over a few beers and he came out with “shirt, with this one we could end up in the play offs”

Staying quite calm it did get me thinking however, is there such a thing as a perfect murder? Is it possible to cheat forensics? Has anyone got away with murder? Whats the best way to dispose of a body that cant be traced?

Would welcome input from anyone been in similar circumstances

What's the shirt got to do with it?
 






BadFish

Huge Member
Oct 19, 2003
18,201






Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Patron
Oct 27, 2003
21,526
The arse end of Hangleton
Let's just hope he's not staying in the Preston Park Hotel !
 


Perkino

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2009
6,053
Forensics aren't the only thing to worry about, a jury could convict on a collection of witness statements as well as using any internet history against you.

My in laws live in the middle of no where, 4 acres, in the back end of Carmarthenshire. I often fear that if I upset them they could bury me within their land and no one would ever find my body. I'd like to think that they wouldn't get away with it.
 






The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
26,182
West is BEST
An odd question but we can put that down to the beer.
As to your question, there must be a way to get away with it as there are hundreds of unsolved murders every year. Especially in the U.S.
I reckon it's not down to the method you use but the location. I think you just have to do it somewhere the police don't give a shit whether they get the right man or not. Some backwoods in the US for example.

Hope this helps and do let us know how you get on.
 


studio150

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2011
30,227
On the Border
Stop taking your arthritis pills during the trial so it's difficult to bend your fingers put on latex glove then try and put on leather glove from murder scene. Due to latex glove and stiff fingers leather glove won't fit. Hold aloft for all to see which will ensure not guilty verdict.

Simple.
 




Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,686
The Fatherland
That would be telling.
 


pastafarian

Well-known member
Sep 4, 2011
11,902
Sussex
Stop taking your arthritis pills during the trial so it's difficult to bend your fingers put on latex glove then try and put on leather glove from murder scene. Due to latex glove and stiff fingers leather glove won't fit. Hold aloft for all to see which will ensure not guilty verdict.

Simple.

If its gone to trial its not really a perfect murder.
 






GT49er

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 1, 2009
49,183
Gloucester
I don't know bout the perfect murder, but DNA has surely delivered the death knell to the traditional fictional murder mystery.

"It looked interesting, Watson, but Inspector Lestrade checked the DNA on the body, and it was Moriarty's. Moriarty has been arrested and charged. Elementary, my dear Watson". Not quite as gripping as the original, is it?
Only positive is that it's put the kybosh on any more of the ghastly Poirot/Miss Marple type of detective stories.
 




Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
11,839
Crawley
One of the reasons for brainwashing people into the belief of a God, he has Hi Def CCTV everywhere and will get you in the end, and for eternity, which is a ridiculously long sentence.
 


Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
I don't know bout the perfect murder, but DNA has surely delivered the death knell to the traditional fictional murder mystery.

"It looked interesting, Watson, but Inspector Lestrade checked the DNA on the body, and it was Moriarty's. Moriarty has been arrested and charged. Elementary, my dear Watson". Not quite as gripping as the original, is it?
Only positive is that it's put the kybosh on any more of the ghastly Poirot/Miss Marple type of detective stories.

You don't even need DNA for this case. It is now known if Pastafarian's Dad disappear, his post is on the internet for ever. You can even be convicted of murder without a body.
 






pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
31,027
West, West, West Sussex
Potentially yes. I have just been cleaning the 2nd floor bedroom windows, having to lean quite far out to reach the furthest bits away. It would have taken just a very hard to prove little nudge from Mrs P, and aaaaarrrrgggghhhh I would have plummeted 2 floors down onto the concrete patio and she would have collected my life insurance :eek:
 


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