Incorrect lyrics

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

"Me, I'm just a lawnmower - you can tell me by the way I walk"

Sadly, Peter Gabriel never read the small print in his contract and realised too late that use of incorrect lyrics was a sackable offence from the Genesis organisation.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Speaking of lyrics, is there a writer of more bizarre lyrics ANYWHERE than Nik Kershaw?


I got two strong arms
Blessings of Babylon, time to carry on
And try for sins and false alarms
So to America the brave wise men save

Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground
Where an old man of iron goes around and around
And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night
For a strange kind of fashion there's a wrong and a right
But he'll never, never fight over you

I got plans for us
Nights in the scullery and days instead of me
I only know what to discuss
Of for anything but light, wise men fighting over you
It's not me you see
Pieces of valentine and just a song of mine
To keep from burning history
Seasons of gasoline and gold, wise men fold

Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground
Where an old man of iron goes around and around
And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night
For a strange kind of fashion there's a wrong and a right
But he'll never, never fight over you

I got time to kill
Sly looks in corridors without a plan of yours
A blackbird sings on bluebird hill
Thanks to the calling of the wild, wise men's child

Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground
Where an old man of iron goes around and around
And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night
For a strange kind of fashion there's a wrong and a right
But he'll never, never fight

Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground
Where an old man of iron goes around and around
And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night
For a strange kind of fashion there's a wrong and a right
But he'll never, never fight over you
No, he'll never, never fight over you

WTF?

 

[dougdeep]

I was listening to Cindi Lauper sing "Drove all Night" as I made my way back from Eastbourne. It goes something like,
"I drove all night, to get home to you,
woke you from your dreams, and made love to you,
is that alright?"

OF COURSE IT IS YOU SILLY COW, WHAT KEPT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Wienergull]

Speaking of lyrics, is there a writer of more bizarre lyrics ANYWHERE than Nik Kershaw?
:

This man could probably give him a run for his money:

I plugged 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
and a Black Crow snuck through
a hole in the sky
so I spent all my buttons on an
old pack mule
and I made me a ladder from
a pawn shop marimba
and I leaned it up against
a dandelion tree

And I filled me a sachel
full of old pig corn
and I beat me a billy
from an old French horn
and I kicked that mule
to the top of the tree
and I blew me a hole
'bout the size of a kickdrum
and I cut me a switch
from a long branch elbow

Chorus
I'm gonna whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six

Well I slept in the holler
of a dry creek bed
and I tore out the buckets
from a red Corvette, tore out the buckets from a red Corvette
Lionel and Dave and the Butcher made three
you got to meet me by the knuckles of the skinnybone tree
with the strings of a Washburn
stretched like a clothes line
you know me and that mule scrambled right through the hole

Repeat Chorus

Now I hold him prisoner
in a Washburn jail
that stapped on the back
of my old kick mule
strapped it on the back of my old kick mule
I bang on the strings just
to drive him crazy
I strum it loud just to rattle his cage
strum it loud just to rattle his cage

Repeat Chorus

 

[Meade's Ball]

I'm a soulman, duh duh der duh duh der der.

Um, Mr Howell, you've lied of your social and genetic history to a respected university, dying your skin and making out you have dance-moves and a heavy schlonger. I found your racist impersonations both unfunny and ineffective. Especially when i witnessed the split heart of Rae Dawn Chongers, still recovering from her time with her old boyfriend, T Commando. You are not a soulman. You're just a phony, a failure and a thief. I've got no f***ing time for you Howell. None at all. Unless you put some white lipstick on and do soul the way it was meant to be, applauded and laughed at by 'The Man'.

 

[Munkfish]

Chorus:
Club Tropicana, drinks are free,
Fun and sunshine - there's enough for everyone.
All that's missing is the sea,
But don't worry, you can suntan!

Castaways and Lovers meet,
Then kiss in Tropicana's heat,
Watch the waves break on the bay.
Soft white sands, a blue lagoon,
Cocktail time, a summer's tune,
A whole night's holiday!

how the f*** can i do that if theres no sea

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street....

ell, doesn't Joe Jackson come from Portsmouth?

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

Chorus:
Club Tropicana, drinks are free,
Fun and sunshine - there's enough for everyone.
All that's missing is the sea,
But don't worry, you can suntan!

Castaways and Lovers meet,
Then kiss in Tropicana's heat,
Watch the waves break on the bay.
Soft white sands, a blue lagoon,
Cocktail time, a summer's tune,
A whole night's holiday!

how the f*** can i do that if theres no sea

also, giving out free drinks is a really bad way to run a club

unless they're charging a LOT to get in, they're going to make HUGE losses!

 

[withdeanwombat]

"It might as well rain until September"

WOT! ............and totally bugger up the cricket season?

 

[Jesus Gul]

Son I'm thirty, I only went with your mother cause she's dirty

Incorrect - at the time of penning those lyrics Mr Ryder was only 28

 

[Goodfella]

Papa was a rolling stone......


Really? so excactly which one was black then?

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

"There are 9 million bicycles in Bejing
That's a fact
It's a thing you can't deny"

Oh yeah? Exactly 9 million?

 

[Bob!]

In this ever changing world in which we live in ??

 

[Norman Potting]

This man could probably give him a run for his money:

I plugged 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
and a Black Crow snuck through
a hole in the sky
so I spent all my buttons on an
old pack mule
and I made me a ladder from
a pawn shop marimba
and I leaned it up against
a dandelion tree

And I filled me a sachel
full of old pig corn
and I beat me a billy
from an old French horn
and I kicked that mule
to the top of the tree
and I blew me a hole
'bout the size of a kickdrum
and I cut me a switch
from a long branch elbow

Chorus
I'm gonna whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six

Well I slept in the holler
of a dry creek bed
and I tore out the buckets
from a red Corvette, tore out the buckets from a red Corvette
Lionel and Dave and the Butcher made three
you got to meet me by the knuckles of the skinnybone tree
with the strings of a Washburn
stretched like a clothes line
you know me and that mule scrambled right through the hole

Repeat Chorus

Now I hold him prisoner
in a Washburn jail
that stapped on the back
of my old kick mule
strapped it on the back of my old kick mule
I bang on the strings just
to drive him crazy
I strum it loud just to rattle his cage
strum it loud just to rattle his cage

Repeat Chorus

Yes but who sung it!!!!

 

[Wienergull]

Yes but who sung it!!!!

 

[H block]

Middle of the road :

Last night I heard my mamma singing a song

Chirpy... chirpy chirpy cheep cheep.



f*** me a talking budgie.