[Misc] If you were a bird (feathered) bestowed with the power of flight

[Stat Brother]

Would you take to the air when possible danger approaches or would you be a...




...pheasant.


Clucking idiots.
Gotta be the stoooopidest animal out there.

 

[Mackenzie]

I’d fly over Selhurst tomorrow
And shit on the ******** below.

 

[Norman Potting]

Would you take to the air when possible danger approaches or would you be a...




...pheasant.


Clucking idiots.
Gotta be the stoooopidest animal out there.

Pigeons/Doves also are terminally stupid in this respect.

 

[BNthree]

The bit of the M25 that goes through Kent seems to be littered with dead pheasants at the moment. Last week had a car in front of me hit one and there was a cloud of feathers that looked like a panel from a comic.

 

[Icy Gull]

Are pheasants more stupid than badgers though? I’m not convinced they are.

 

[smillie's garden]

If you're genuine rural Sussex you might take it home and hang it in the old shed.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

It's the fact they LOOK at you coming along the road for a while....contemplating it.

I'm sat there thinking "don't you dare....you wouldn't be that stupi.........."

BANG.

 

[Codner's Crackpipe]

I reckon squirrels are thicker. If they could just decide on a direction to escape in and STICK to it they might stand a better chance of not ending up under my wheels the dithering little bellends.

 

[sydney]

can't be a stooped as kangaroos .....them twatts will try and race your car and then hurdle it if they get level.....mugs...!!

 

[WATFORD zero]

If you're genuine rural Sussex you might take it home and hang it in the old shed.

I once hit a pheasant early morning going over the Dyke for an early flight from Gatwick. I stopped and it was dead but not very mangled, so I threw it in my boot thinking I could have it later.

Gatwick car park, I parked up, opened the boot to get my briefcase and the ******* came flying out straight at me. Scared the shit out of me

Moral - when running over something edible for dinner, make sure it's dead.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Are pheasants more stupid than badgers though? I’m not convinced they are.

Wild pheasants aren't stupid, but captive bred ones are. A farm near me breeds them for shooting. The birds are quite often seen taking a stroll down the middle of the road.

 

[mikeyjh]

Would you take to the air when possible danger approaches or would you be a...




...pheasant.


Clucking idiots.
Gotta be the stoooopidest animal out there.

Yes - I'm in to double figures over the last 12 months - On the lane that leads to our house, one basically has to either a) go at walking pace and parp them repeatedly, hope they get out of the way or b) Mow them down.

* I always go for option a), all my kills have been on busier roads, I have the damaged grill on the car to prove it.

 

[mikeyjh]

Wild pheasants aren't stupid, but captive bred ones are. A farm near me breeds them for shooting. The birds are quite often seen taking a stroll down the middle of the road.

True this - I've been charge with taking out 4 for our neighbours boxing day hosting, will be the easiest shots ever, settle down about 10 yards from them and bam.... Squirrels are a much tougher ask.

 

[Easy 10]

Perhaps they're not stupid at all.

Has anyone considered the pressures of country life that they may suffer ? Trying to provide for a young incessantly ravenous family, exposed to all elements, constantly trying to avoid the neverending horrifying prospect being eaten alive at any time of the day or night.

Maybe sometimes it all becomes too much, and the approaching wheels of a Volvo XC60 just becomes all too tempting a way out for them.

 

[pearl]

depressing thread

thought it was going to be what bird we'd choose to be

 

[smillie's garden]

I once hit a pheasant early morning going over the Dyke for an early flight from Gatwick. I stopped and it was dead but not very mangled, so I threw it in my boot thinking I could have it later.

Gatwick car park, I parked up, opened the boot to get my briefcase and the ******* came flying out straight at me. Scared the shit out of me

Moral - when running over something edible for dinner, make sure it's dead.

Simply stunning.

 

[Eric Youngs Contact Lense]

The fact that they hang-around the side of roads is apparently because they need grit to help them digest their food.. reliably informed by game keeper friend of mine.

 

[Knocky's Nose]

I work out in the countryside and squirrels seem to be the ones topping the dead-list at the moment. I saw about half a dozen on the way in this morning, on a really quiet little back road.

My questions is : did they all get hit by cars, or did a few of them take a leap to another branch and the wind changed, took the branch a few more inches past the end of it's little paws, and did a 'wile e coyote' style fall down to the tarmac? I often wonder...

We do get pheasants out here, but generally they're not bad at avoiding my V70. Partridges are abound too, and those little buggers can certainly scamper along when they want!

Talking of dead animals by the side of the road, when the kids were very little and used to see dead badgers, foxes and so on right by the side of the road we used to say "Well that's a very dangerous place to go to sleep, isn't it !!"

I still find myself saying it, and they're all grown up now!

 

[Kneon Light]

Not that stupid - they are regularly hunted and shot so have learnt to stay low and run when disturbed rather than fly.
Sure a few may get hit by cars but more would be shot if they fly at the first sign of disturbance.

 

[Stat Brother]

Deers were top of the hit list today, I saw 3 of them in various states of decay.