[Humour] If Only Boris had Followed Donald's Sensible Approach to Social Distancing

[marlowe]

While other world leaders and government officials like our Boris and Iranian Vice President Eshaq Jahangiri fall ill with the virus President Trump has taken a much more sensible approach and is exercising his own personal social distancing measures as a precaution against contracting the virus.

At a recent press conference detailing his continued military action against the Mexican drug cartels Trump cleverly employed government aides to act as spacers between himself and his military advisors.

Trump had ingeniously calculated that the width of two broad shouldered government aides equated to a distance of roughly two metres, and so by placing two of them either side of him, he maintained a safe two metre distance between himself and his two high ranking military advisors.

This strategy is clearly working as Trump remains virus free. If only Boris had implemented such sensible measures in Parliament we would not now be floundering without a leader.

 

[swindonseagull]

While other world leaders and government officials like our Boris and Iranian Vice President Eshaq Jahangiri fall ill with the virus President Trump has taken a much more sensible approach and is exercising his own personal social distancing measures as a precaution against contracting the virus.

At a recent press conference detailing his continued military action against the Mexican drug cartels Trump cleverly employed government aides to act as spacers between himself and his military advisors.

Trump had ingeniously calculated that the width of two broad shouldered government aides equated to a distance of roughly two metres, and so by placing two of them either side of him, he maintained a safe two metre distance between himself and his two high ranking military advisors.

This strategy is clearly working as Trump remains virus free. If only Boris had implemented such sensible measures in Parliament we would not now be floundering without a leader.

View attachment 121703

I'm guessing counting to 2 is not your strong point?

 

[marlowe]

I'm guessing counting to 2 is not your strong point?

For the purpose of serving the premise of the joke please imagine that the person two along on Trump's left isn't one of his military advisors but is merely a government aide who just happens to be wearing a military uniform.

 

[NooBHA]

https://twitter.com/KathyLette/status/1244234708176822272/photo/1

 

[Weststander]

They’re still doing that at the comic daily White House press conferences.

The intelligent, plus Trump and Pence, performing a chaotic jig at the lectern.

 

[vegster]

While other world leaders and government officials like our Boris and Iranian Vice President Eshaq Jahangiri fall ill with the virus President Trump has taken a much more sensible approach and is exercising his own personal social distancing measures as a precaution against contracting the virus.

At a recent press conference detailing his continued military action against the Mexican drug cartels Trump cleverly employed government aides to act as spacers between himself and his military advisors.

Trump had ingeniously calculated that the width of two broad shouldered government aides equated to a distance of roughly two metres, and so by placing two of them either side of him, he maintained a safe two metre distance between himself and his two high ranking military advisors.

This strategy is clearly working as Trump remains virus free. If only Boris had implemented such sensible measures in Parliament we would not now be floundering without a leader.

View attachment 121703

I think you will find we are in fact " Floundering with a leader"... Mostly because that leader is Johnson.

 

[Wozza]

While other world leaders and government officials like our Boris and Iranian Vice President Eshaq Jahangiri fall ill with the virus President Trump has taken a much more sensible approach and is exercising his own personal social distancing measures as a precaution against contracting the virus.

At a recent press conference detailing his continued military action against the Mexican drug cartels Trump cleverly employed government aides to act as spacers between himself and his military advisors.

Trump had ingeniously calculated that the width of two broad shouldered government aides equated to a distance of roughly two metres, and so by placing two of them either side of him, he maintained a safe two metre distance between himself and his two high ranking military advisors.

This strategy is clearly working as Trump remains virus free. If only Boris had implemented such sensible measures in Parliament we would not now be floundering without a leader.

Wait, THIS guy?!

https://twitter.com/BorisJohnson_MP/status/1243823411144667137?s=20

[tweet]1243823411144667137[/tweet]

 

[GT49er]

I think you will find we are in fact " Floundering with a leader"... Mostly because that leader is Johnson.

To misquote Mandy Rice-Davies, well, you wold say that wouldn't you.

For some, Johnson will be damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Believe me, I'm no great fan of Boris the Great, but given a choice between him and the leader of the party to whom I would normally turn to, no choice! and considering that he's faced with a crisis the like of which no Prime Minister has ever faced before, a silent killer which no-one has yet found a cure for, he's doing as well as could be expected. Has he got everything absolutely right? - no, probably not - who would/could have in the circumstances? But leadership-wise, he's doing OK.
That's just OK mind - no eulogies of praise or anything like that - but just OK. Before you lay into me with some or other's 'expert' opinion, would you seriously have preferred Jeremy to me in charge?

 

[MikeySmall]

would you seriously have preferred Jeremy to me in charge?

Dunno. I'm guessing your political experience is limited though.

 

[vegster]

To misquote Mandy Rice-Davies, well, you wold say that wouldn't you.

For some, Johnson will be damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Believe me, I'm no great fan of Boris the Great, but given a choice between him and the leader of the party to whom I would normally turn to, no choice! and considering that he's faced with a crisis the like of which no Prime Minister has ever faced before, a silent killer which no-one has yet found a cure for, he's doing as well as could be expected. Has he got everything absolutely right? - no, probably not - who would/could have in the circumstances? But leadership-wise, he's doing OK.
That's just OK mind - no eulogies of praise or anything like that - but just OK. Before you lay into me with some or other's 'expert' opinion, would you seriously have preferred Jeremy to me in charge?

No, I wouldn't want you in charge.

 

[GT49er]

Dunno. I'm guessing your political experience is limited though.

Whoops! Shocking typo - should be 'be' not 'me'!

Excellent spot!

 

[GT49er]

Duplicate post.

 

[marlowe]

Whoops! Shocking typo - should be 'be' not 'me'!

Excellent spot!

I was wondering myself whether it was a digital slip or a Freudian slip

 

[LlcoolJ]

Whoops! Shocking typo - should be 'be' not 'me'!

Excellent spot!

Gave me a well needed chuckle.......

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

To misquote Mandy Rice-Davies, well, you wold say that wouldn't you.

For some, Johnson will be damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Believe me, I'm no great fan of Boris the Great, but given a choice between him and the leader of the party to whom I would normally turn to, no choice! and considering that he's faced with a crisis the like of which no Prime Minister has ever faced before, a silent killer which no-one has yet found a cure for, he's doing as well as could be expected. Has he got everything absolutely right? - no, probably not - who would/could have in the circumstances? But leadership-wise, he's doing OK.
That's just OK mind - no eulogies of praise or anything like that - but just OK. Before you lay into me with some or other's 'expert' opinion, would you seriously have preferred Jeremy to me in charge?

Although I agree with you, I somehow feel that [MENTION=33745]marlowe[/MENTION]'s comic genius has somewhat whooshed several contributors to this thread.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Typo or not, I'd rather have you in charge than Corbyn

 

[GT49er]

Typo or not, I'd rather have you in charge than Corbyn