[NSC] I smashed up my strimmer, and I don't want my wife to know

[Van Cleef]

Tell her it stopped working and it broke trying to fix it. What’s the problem?
strimmers are a pain all round - cables get cut, the plastic cutting wires break off requiring disassembly, and the batteries in cable free ones give up very quickly and cost as much as a new machine to replace.

Strimmers really are the MK Dons of the appliance world. Who came up with them? Is this really mankind's best solution to tufty bits of grass at the side of the garden? I say breaking it in two was far too good for it. I would have given it a good flogging first, making sure all the neighbours were watching.

 

[hart's shirt]

Tell the wife that it got broken when you were going through a rough patch.

 

[albionalba]

Lots of sympathy but hoping someone's going to kick this thread into the long grass....

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

OK, so with a sunny window this afternoon I decided to give the lawn its first cut of the year. I always begin by strimming the borders first (I have wooden edging), before getting the mower out to finish the job.

Anyway, my Bosch strimmer was being a little BITCH. Every time I started, I'd get 3 paces before the sodding wire would kaputt. So I'd trudge back to the patio, undo the thing, pull through a bit more strimming wire, re-assemble, and crack on. Except within 5 seconds, the f*cking wire had gone again. So the quite fiddly dissasemble - reassemble poke-the-wire-through process would be repeated again and again. And this happened around 6 times. I've done this before, but never to this extent.

On the 7th go when it went again, in a childish fit of rage, I hoisted my strimmer aloft my head, and violently SMASHED it down onto the lawn, whereupon it broke in two. And the shield bit at the bottom is f*cked. I've hid it behind the shed for now (but I did at least go on to complete the mowing).

So now it looks like I'll have to blow the thick end of 80 sheets for another strimmer. But I need to do all this whilst (a) disposing of the old broken one somewhere, and (b) get the new one without her knowing.

I'm not expecting suggestions tbh, just venting really. But its going to keep me awake now, I know it.

Mrs T suggests you tell her it fell off something. And she added that Mrs 10 was probably watching you through an upstairs window, and is now enjoying your dissembling and discomfiture. Who wouldn't?

My Mac Allister uses a nylon thread that self extends. One a year I replace the spool. Thirty second job.

 

[el punal]

I hope when she finds out she doesn’t call the Lawn Enforcement on you

No doubt they’ll weed out the culprit.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Wife or strummer?

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Strimmers are okay at cutting grass but they can't cut through wood (border edging). The nylon cutting chord will break. Even a new strimmer won't resolve your issue.

On your knees with a pair of shears will give best results and be more environmentally friendly too.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Join the no mow this century movement (can’t believe i am saying this)…hang strimmer up in garage..she doesnt need to know it’s broken ….. problem solved and no chance of breaking the mower either

 

[Nobby]

Well I'm surprised that no one has mentioned this.

Surely the first port of call is a rather strongly worded letter of condemnation to the manufacturer of said item.


Dear [Manufacturer's Name],

I am writing to express my extreme dissatisfaction with the quality and reliability of your [Model Name] garden strimmer. As a loyal customer who purchased your product with the expectation of durability and performance, I am appalled by the repeated breakdowns and malfunctions I have experienced.

Since purchasing the [Model Name] garden strimmer, I have encountered numerous issues, including [list specific issues such as motor failures, string feed malfunctions, etc.]. Despite following the user manual meticulously and maintaining the strimmer according to your recommendations, it has continuously failed to operate as advertised.

The inconvenience and frustration caused by these frequent breakdowns cannot be overstated. As a homeowner who relies on a well-functioning garden tool to maintain my property, your product's unreliability has not only wasted my time but also cost me money in repairs and replacements.
Indeed, my wife is so frustrated with my supposed inaction on cutting the grass in our garden, that she is now mentioning divorce. A dreadful state of affairs, as a direct consequence of your company' incompetence.

Furthermore, the safety implications of a malfunctioning garden strimmer are deeply concerning. Each time the equipment unexpectedly stops working, it poses a risk of injury to myself and others in the vicinity. This is completely unacceptable and reflects poorly on your company's commitment to producing safe and reliable products.

I demand immediate action to rectify this situation. Firstly, I request a full refund for the [Model Name] garden strimmer, as it has failed to meet the basic standards of quality and performance. Additionally, I urge you to conduct a thorough review of your manufacturing processes and quality control measures to ensure that such substandard products are not released to the market in the future.

Furthermore, I expect compensation for the expenses incurred as a result of your faulty product, including the cost of repairs, replacement parts, and any associated labour charges. Your failure to address these issues promptly will leave me with no choice but to escalate this matter through legal channels and share my negative experience with others in my community and online.

I trust that you will take this matter seriously and respond promptly with a satisfactory resolution. I look forward to hearing from you within [specify a reasonable timeframe, e.g., 14 days] to discuss how you intend to rectify this situation.

Sincerely,

Easy

 

[Van Cleef]

If you do buy another strimmer, I'd suggest showing it the "corpse" of the previous incumbent as a warning against future misbehaviour.

 

[Chicken Run]

No doubt they’ll weed out the culprit.

Or indeed Rounduemup

 

[hart's shirt]

View attachment 179650

Easy fought the lawn and the lawn won.

 

[Questions]

Get rid of the old broken one at a tip would be my best suggestion

Do they take wives ?

 

[METALMICKY]

Hire a lawn service…

Is the correct answer! Many years back under the excuse of that I played cricket every Saturday and a few Sundays, I got a chap round to do my fairly modest front and back garden. Cricket went 10 years ago but I still have someone round.

 

[hart's shirt]

Do they take wives ?

They'll probably say no as refuse is their business.

 

[Questions]

They'll probably say no as refuse is their business.

Ok I can’t do my ‘dump’ joke now.

 

[GT49er]

I don't own a strimmer. Usually I manage a late cut in the autumn, and can tackle the lawn with the mower (set very high for the first cut) in the spring. Occasionally two much rain at the wrong time thwarts the best laid plans and the bloody grass is more than half way up to my knees.
I then buy the cheapest possible strimmer from B&Q - it won't quite be able to finish the job, but it'll do a good 90% plus before the motor burns out.
Then back to B&Q next morning - "I only bought this strimmer yesterday, and it's failed already. Yes, I do have the receipt..............."

 

[lawros left foot]

View attachment 179650

Fit Fungers

 

[Coldeanseagull]

I saw the thread title and straight away thought


Growaset

 

[AlbionBro]

Please don't forget the helpless victim in this extreme act of violence. The Bosch strimmer. It tried so hard to do the job, but was being fed with poor quality line and a less than delicate operator.
RIP Bosch