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How to get your ex girlfreind back?







Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,098
Lancing
was gonna say f*** her best mate... but not a good plan.

Seriously looks like an easy one to me. Go see her say your sorry you dad situation has been really hard - you love her and take her to milan..... if she says she misses you thats a green light - good luck mate and enjoy milan.

This is not easy because of this

" Now I saw her this morning to drop something round to her, at the front door she told me she missed me, I simply responded with...this is your choice, she said she wants to stay in my life etcand for me to stay her freind and I again said this cannot happen and then said my goodbye's and walked away. "

Having thought about this, this is my advice. Speak to her and tell her you are still going to Milan. It was a trip brought for the 2 of you as lovers. Tell her you still love her and want her to go with you as a lover and partner but not as a friend. During the trip you can hopefully relight the spark. Tell her however you cannot go with her as a " friend " as you still love her and it will be impossible for the both of you. If she says no, it is over and go with a friend. Do not contact her again. This way you have given her a final chance and laid your cards on the table. What you don't want is to be " friendzoned " as it is a shit place to be. I was " friendzoned " by my last ex and we went out a few times as " friends " which killed me as I still had strong feelings for her so I told her I could not be friends anymore because of this, maybe one day in the future when the feelings had gone but not now. It was tough to do but the right decision. Good luck.
 
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kevtherev

Well-known member
Feb 28, 2008
10,467
Tunbridge Wells
She probably just wants the trip to Milan, get away from the shit summer. I'm f***ed if I would take her. Take a mate and go on the piss and pull. If she still wants you when you get back, she might just mean it.
 


Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,098
Lancing
She probably just wants the trip to Milan, get away from the shit summer. I'm f***ed if I would take her. Take a mate and go on the piss and pull. If she still wants you when you get back, she might just mean it.

It's a tough one I agree. I was pointing out to the other person it was not an easy choice. The " I miss you " means jack shit. I would want some assurances about her feelings to even consider taking her but it might be worth one last shot.
 


kevtherev

Well-known member
Feb 28, 2008
10,467
Tunbridge Wells
It's a tough one I agree. I was pointing out to the other person it was not an easy choice. The " I miss you " means jack shit. I would want some assurances about her feelings to even consider taking her but it might be worth one last shot.

Yeah, but she also might think a few screws is worth it for a freebie to Italy, then still shit on him when they get back.
 




Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,098
Lancing
Yeah, but she also might think a few screws is worth it for a freebie to Italy, then still shit on him when they get back.

There are no guarantees with any relationship that is what I have learned. NONE.
 


kevtherev

Well-known member
Feb 28, 2008
10,467
Tunbridge Wells
There are no guarantees with any relationship that is what I have learned. NONE.

1...Take her, screw her then she dumps you when you get back..= Feeling you been taken for a mug and feel even worse.
2...Take a mate, get pissed and laid(don't tell her that), she comes back to you when you return..=She couldn't bare the thought of you being away and you more or less know she really wants you back and you have had a laugh with a mate.
3..As above, but she doesn't want you back when you return = She was only after the trip and prepared to open her legs to get it, hurting you even more in the process...which means you better off out of it anyway.

It's a no brainer, option 2 every time.
 






Embrace

New member
Oct 28, 2011
121
I hope everything is going ok at the moment!
I think there is pretty sound advice in this thread so far. One thing you may want to consider (regarding the day going slow and texting) is to leave your phone at home when you go out... If it is not with you all of the time, you are less likely to text, or keep seeing of she has text you.
 


Rodney Thomas

Well-known member
May 2, 2012
1,596
Ελλάδα
I hope everything is going ok at the moment!
I think there is pretty sound advice in this thread so far. One thing you may want to consider (regarding the day going slow and texting) is to leave your phone at home when you go out... If it is not with you all of the time, you are less likely to text, or keep seeing of she has text you.

This is very good advice. In the age of mobiles its really difficult to actually have time apart so leaving the mobile at home when you head out, especially if you are going for a beer, is a very sensible thing to do..
 


marshy68

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2011
2,868
Brighton
This is not easy because of this

" Now I saw her this morning to drop something round to her, at the front door she told me she missed me, I simply responded with...this is your choice, she said she wants to stay in my life etcand for me to stay her freind and I again said this cannot happen and then said my goodbye's and walked away. "

Having thought about this, this is my advice. Speak to her and tell her you are still going to Milan. It was a trip brought for the 2 of you as lovers. Tell her you still love her and want her to go with you as a lover and partner but not as a friend. During the trip you can hopefully relight the spark. Tell her however you cannot go with her as a " friend " as you still love her and it will be impossible for the both of you. If she says no, it is over and go with a friend. Do not contact her again. This way you have given her a final chance and laid your cards on the table. What you don't want is to be " friendzoned " as it is a shit place to be. I was " friendzoned " by my last ex and we went out a few times as " friends " which killed me as I still had strong feelings for her so I told her I could not be friends anymore because of this, maybe one day in the future when the feelings had gone but not now. It was tough to do but the right decision. Good luck.

top advise
 




nwgull

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2003
14,533
Manchester
Having read through this thread and your updates, I'd say you've played it as well as you could. The whole thing women do of not completely breaking contact (let's be friends etc.) is just them playing at being single to see if they'll like it.

I'm personally a great believer in never going back, and that if she's dumped you once then she's likely to dump you again in the future. If however you still want her back then continue with what you're doing and don't initiate any contact - let her do the running. Also, it's never a bad idea to delete her number from your phone for now to prevent any drunken texts or phone calls. Just have it written down somewhere at home.
 


Weststander

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2011
69,372
Withdean area
Def do not chase, and move on (even if you really feel the opposite).

Any sign of chasing will be seen as from a weak man.

It's a win-win for you in the long term. Either:
- Your apparent strength will make you more attractive to her again; or if not-
- You will give yourself tons of self respect from moving on and not coming across desparate. Your inner confidence will increase.
 


byf1

Active member
Mar 22, 2012
271
Thanks again for all the advice, I used to look at people who opened up about their issues on here as quite sad but ive had some cracking replies and they all seem all along the same lines.

Being totally honest today has been so incredibly tough, since seeing her this morning and fighting the erge to text which has been an on-going battle I just feel drained.

It looks like there isnt much hope at getting her back and if there is it involves game playing tactics of ignoring and hoping she crumbles first and contacts me, madness but I guess it's the only hope i've got.

Sometimes things happen in life and you cant quite believe what you find yourself involved in....I've had relationships breakdown like we all have but it comes such a shock as there is no script for this kind of thing.

Just got to sit tight and fight that erge to tell her how I really feel as im 100% sure she knows how I feel, she lives 5 mins from my house and there's nada I can do about it.

Sleep soon is a bonus!
 




Mackenzie

Old Brightonian
Nov 7, 2003
34,028
East Wales
Thanks again for all the advice, I used to look at people who opened up about their issues on here as quite sad but ive had some cracking replies and they all seem all along the same lines.

Being totally honest today has been so incredibly tough, since seeing her this morning and fighting the erge to text which has been an on-going battle I just feel drained.

It looks like there isnt much hope at getting her back and if there is it involves game playing tactics of ignoring and hoping she crumbles first and contacts me, madness but I guess it's the only hope i've got.

Sometimes things happen in life and you cant quite believe what you find yourself involved in....I've had relationships breakdown like we all have but it comes such a shock as there is no script for this kind of thing.

Just got to sit tight and fight that erge to tell her how I really feel as im 100% sure she knows how I feel, she lives 5 mins from my house and there's nada I can do about it.

Sleep soon is a bonus!
It'll get easier. Keep your chin up mate :thumbsup:
 


Barnham Seagull

Yapton Actually
Dec 28, 2005
2,353
Yapton
Thanks again for all the advice, I used to look at people who opened up about their issues on here as quite sad but ive had some cracking replies and they all seem all along the same lines.

Being totally honest today has been so incredibly tough, since seeing her this morning and fighting the erge to text which has been an on-going battle I just feel drained.

It looks like there isnt much hope at getting her back and if there is it involves game playing tactics of ignoring and hoping she crumbles first and contacts me, madness but I guess it's the only hope i've got.

Sometimes things happen in life and you cant quite believe what you find yourself involved in....I've had relationships breakdown like we all have but it comes such a shock as there is no script for this kind of thing.

Just got to sit tight and fight that erge to tell her how I really feel as im 100% sure she knows how I feel, she lives 5 mins from my house and there's nada I can do about it.

Sleep soon is a bonus!

I had a very similar thing, unfortunately the ex lived in the flat next door!
 


Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,098
Lancing
Thanks again for all the advice, I used to look at people who opened up about their issues on here as quite sad but ive had some cracking replies and they all seem all along the same lines.

Being totally honest today has been so incredibly tough, since seeing her this morning and fighting the erge to text which has been an on-going battle I just feel drained.

It looks like there isnt much hope at getting her back and if there is it involves game playing tactics of ignoring and hoping she crumbles first and contacts me, madness but I guess it's the only hope i've got.

Sometimes things happen in life and you cant quite believe what you find yourself involved in....I've had relationships breakdown like we all have but it comes such a shock as there is no script for this kind of thing.

Just got to sit tight and fight that erge to tell her how I really feel as im 100% sure she knows how I feel, she lives 5 mins from my house and there's nada I can do about it.

Sleep soon is a bonus!

I think you are handling it brilliantly. Losing someone you love is f***ing painful despite all the macho posturing on here. You have made your mind up, she ain't going to Milan. Now go and have a great time with a friend. All you can do in these situations is sit things out but carry on with your life. She may come back in the short term but it is a 1 in 10 chance and even then, the fact she has done this now undermines the relationship so at the end of the day its her loss. A word of warning though, she will make contact again sometime in the future, 6 months - 1 year, most likely when you have gotten over her fully and moved on, possibly with someone else. They always came back but by then its too late. Watch Swingers tonight.
 


byf1

Active member
Mar 22, 2012
271
Came so close to contacting her but held back, trying my best to hold until at least Friday, fcuking nightmare!
 








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