HORSEFLY ATTACK - Ive got HOT FLESH

[Easy 10]

Once again, I am reporting in to announce Ive been bitten by a HORSEFLY.
Last time, a couple of years ago, I had 6 or 7 bites on my shins and it was AGONY - for a couple of days I could barely walk, in fact I couldnt even drive. This time, I just have a single bite on my arm, just around from my elbow. My arm has a large patch of angry REDNESS all around the bite for about 10-15cms, and the skin is actually noticably hot to touch. Further down towards my wrist the skin temperature is normal, but around the redness of the bite it feels FEVERED and RAW.

At least its just the one bite this time, so Im not going to cry or anything. But f*** ME those horseflies give a nasty one.

 

[Heffle Gull]

Yo need to get some meat tenderiser, and apply it to the bite. This will reduce the swelling and reduce the itching.

You have not been charged for this advice

 

[Lokki 7]

Horse flies can carry syphilis, sounds from that like you've been infected. Better get yourself down the clap shop quick smart to get tested. Nasty business.

 

[Timbo]

f*** that, I've just stood on a nail.

 

[Hampden Park]

Horse flies can carry syphilis, sounds from that like you've been infected. Better get yourself down the clap shop quick smart to get tested. Nasty business.

i wonder how many blokes will go to the clap clinic with that excuse eh Lokki 7?

 

[Easy 10]

I think Ive still got some cream at home from the last time I was attacked and mutilated by one of these VICIOUS airbourne creatures. I shall be applying it vigorously.

 

[Ding Dong !]

Horse flies can carry syphilis, sounds from that like you've been infected. Better get yourself down the clap shop quick smart to get tested. Nasty business.

I thought Easy 10 was bitten by a horsefly, not rogered by it !!!!!!

 

[MattBackHome]

I hate the fact that when they bite, it actually feels like they're chewing you. Utter, utter bastards.

 

[Meade's Ball]

People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day
But Mister Eddy 10 will never speak unless he has something to say.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And this one'll talk 'til his voice is hoarse.
You never heard of a talking horse?

Well listen to this. I am Mister Eddy 10.

Do you think wasps or bees ever disguise themselves as other things, like newspaper boys, hangmen, archers, Nazi aircraft or horseflies?

 

[British Bulldog]

f*** that, I've just stood on a nail.

That was a silly thing to do.

 

[Easy 10]

I hate the fact that when they bite, it actually feels like they\'re chewing you. Utter, utter bastards.

The bite from a larger specimen can be singularly painful, especially considering the light, agile, and airborne nature of the fly. Unlike insects which surreptitiously puncture the skin with needle-like organs, horse flies have mandibles like tiny serrated scimitars, which they use to rip and/or slice flesh apart. This causes the blood to seep out as the horsefly licks it up. They may even carve a chunk completely out of the victim, to be digested at its leisure.

The horsefly\'s modus operandi is less secretive than that of its mosquito counterparts, although it still aims to escape before pain signals reach their mark\'s sphere of awareness. Moreover, the pain of a horsefly bite may mean that the victim is more concerned with assessing and repairing the wound, than finding and swatting the interloper.

Source: Wikipedia

 

[glasfryn]

Once again, I am reporting in to announce Ive been bitten by a HORSEFLY.
Last time, a couple of years ago, I had 6 or 7 bites on my shins and it was AGONY - for a couple of days I could barely walk, in fact I couldnt even drive. This time, I just have a single bite on my arm, just around from my elbow. My arm has a large patch of angry REDNESS all around the bite for about 10-15cms, and the skin is actually noticably hot to touch. Further down towards my wrist the skin temperature is normal, but around the redness of the bite it feels FEVERED and RAW.

At least its just the one bite this time, so Im not going to cry or anything. But f*** ME those horseflies give a nasty one.

don't ever think about moving to west Wales then the place is buzzing with them,and you are right they are little bastards,painful little bastards.

 

[cannedheat]

You have my sympathy mate I was in Storrington a couple of years back and got bit on the leg, it ferking hurt I hate the bastards.

And it is only the females that bite, typical.

 

[Icy Gull]

The thread title had me thinking of a horror porno thread, disappointing

 

[Meade's Ball]

I was stung by a vicar once whilst deep in sleep. His rosary beans scraping their way down my mustard pyjamas. As i woke he was muttering apologies and confessions to some invisible gent who scoured the universe for the agreeably repentant in the flat above me. Dwayne, i think his name was. I hollered for moments, no sound of my dismay piercing his determinedly waxed drum, until the warble of an autumn husk rattled the cracked glass that kept me from the world and vampires past midnight and shook him to awareness. He brushed his pieces, bowed his head gleefully in my direction and departed, humming the sort of tunes he had to remember to press into his organist's ears midweek for next Sunday's religious epilogue.

 

[Easy 10]

You are wasted on here Mr Ball. Literary GENIUS of the highest order.

Im going over the road to buy some antihistamines. This thing is hurting like a BASTARD now.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Nasty Critters, horse flys!

 

[NMH]

Nasty Critters, horse flys!

Pegasus!
Where did you find him, can I get him back??

 

[Scotty Mac]

hate the little bastards - got bitten in a safari park a few weeks back, and it was irritating like a complete bastard

 

[Easy 10]

Still hurting like a HURTY thing, it is. And red.
I'll see what I'm like in the morning