[Misc] Having a pet put down and the guilt that follows

[Weststander]

So sorry to hear that @Greg Bobkin .

 

[Ooh it’s a corner]

I've just read this thread and wanted to say thank you to (nearly) all the contributors for making me feel a bit better tonight.

We had to take Bruno (just under five years old) the cockerpoo to be put to sleep today and I'm in bits because while I know it was completely the right thing to do, I still feel awful.

He broke his back a couple of years ago and we made the decision to go for surgery, partly because he was so young we figured he deserved another chance. He made a decent recovery, but we were warned at the time it could/would happen again. He hadn't been himself for a few weeks recently and was showing a lot of the symptoms he had before and just after his surgery. We knew that something serious was going on. He also had extreme resource guarding issues, which meant caring for him was tougher than for a 'normal' dog and we always had to be on our guard.

We'd said we wouldn't put him through anything else - and he looked at us today at times as if to say 'please help me', so I know we did the right thing (and the vet agreed, having read his history), but that doesn't stop the guilt.

I'll really miss him - and I was the only one of us five Bobkins who didn't actually WANT a dog. But he won me around, became my running buddy and his main partner for walks. Never again - I'm not going through all that again!

Like you @Greg Bobkin, I was the one in our family who really didn’t want a dog(2005). Nineteen years(4 labradors and 1 St. Bernese) later we’ve not been without a dog since(2 are still with us).

So sorry to hear of your loss - many of us have been there as you can tell - you did the right thing for him, that’s what matters most.

Be happy he was with you, not sad he’s gone.

The Bobkins will probably decide if you have another anyway

 

[Bold Seagull]

Nice article on the subject I thought...

Oscar, my beloved dog, has died at 15. A piece of my heart rests with him beneath the pear tree | Emma Beddington

Saying farewell at home was the right thing to do for a dog who hated the vet. Goodbye, sweet gent, and thank you for politely putting up with us for so long, writes Emma Beddington

www.theguardian.com

 

[pasty]

So sorry @Greg Bobkin

We had to put our old girl Misty to sleep back in February this year. It’s a horrible thing to have to do.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

I've just read this thread and wanted to say thank you to (nearly) all the contributors for making me feel a bit better tonight.

We had to take Bruno (just under five years old) the cockerpoo to be put to sleep today and I'm in bits because while I know it was completely the right thing to do, I still feel awful.

He broke his back a couple of years ago and we made the decision to go for surgery, partly because he was so young we figured he deserved another chance. He made a decent recovery, but we were warned at the time it could/would happen again. He hadn't been himself for a few weeks recently and was showing a lot of the symptoms he had before and just after his surgery. We knew that something serious was going on. He also had extreme resource guarding issues, which meant caring for him was tougher than for a 'normal' dog and we always had to be on our guard.

We'd said we wouldn't put him through anything else - and he looked at us today at times as if to say 'please help me', so I know we did the right thing (and the vet agreed, having read his history), but that doesn't stop the guilt.

I'll really miss him - and I was the only one of us five Bobkins who didn't actually WANT a dog. But he won me around, became my running buddy and his main partner for walks. Never again - I'm not going through all that again!

So sad but you know you done the right thing

 

[Fignon's Ponytail]

Nice article on the subject I thought...

Oscar, my beloved dog, has died at 15. A piece of my heart rests with him beneath the pear tree | Emma Beddington

Saying farewell at home was the right thing to do for a dog who hated the vet. Goodbye, sweet gent, and thank you for politely putting up with us for so long, writes Emma Beddington

www.theguardian.com

Thats brought tears to my eyes, as we did exactly this a few years ago when my mother-in-laws Labrador, Herbie, had reached that point. He couldn't get up off the floor outside the back door as his back legs had gone, so I sat with him until the woman arrived, and he went very peacefully in my arms, in his favourite spot. Horrible at the time, but so much better than taking that final drive to the vets....

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

I've just read this thread and wanted to say thank you to (nearly) all the contributors for making me feel a bit better tonight.

We had to take Bruno (just under five years old) the cockerpoo to be put to sleep today and I'm in bits because while I know it was completely the right thing to do, I still feel awful.

He broke his back a couple of years ago and we made the decision to go for surgery, partly because he was so young we figured he deserved another chance. He made a decent recovery, but we were warned at the time it could/would happen again. He hadn't been himself for a few weeks recently and was showing a lot of the symptoms he had before and just after his surgery. We knew that something serious was going on. He also had extreme resource guarding issues, which meant caring for him was tougher than for a 'normal' dog and we always had to be on our guard.

We'd said we wouldn't put him through anything else - and he looked at us today at times as if to say 'please help me', so I know we did the right thing (and the vet agreed, having read his history), but that doesn't stop the guilt.

I'll really miss him - and I was the only one of us five Bobkins who didn't actually WANT a dog. But he won me around, became my running buddy and his main partner for walks. Never again - I'm not going through all that again!

Sorry to read this but you know you have done the right thing for Bruno and the decision you took is a much harder one than just putting it off and him being in more pain.

It will take time but as others have said, remember the good times you had with Bruno and try not to focus on the last few days.

We had to take a similar decision around our dog who was a similar age and even now, two years on, we still talk about him and miss him but we know in our hearts it was the right thing to do. We are also in the never again camp...for now!

 

[MJsGhost]

I've just read this thread and wanted to say thank you to (nearly) all the contributors for making me feel a bit better tonight.

We had to take Bruno (just under five years old) the cockerpoo to be put to sleep today and I'm in bits because while I know it was completely the right thing to do, I still feel awful.

He broke his back a couple of years ago and we made the decision to go for surgery, partly because he was so young we figured he deserved another chance. He made a decent recovery, but we were warned at the time it could/would happen again. He hadn't been himself for a few weeks recently and was showing a lot of the symptoms he had before and just after his surgery. We knew that something serious was going on. He also had extreme resource guarding issues, which meant caring for him was tougher than for a 'normal' dog and we always had to be on our guard.

We'd said we wouldn't put him through anything else - and he looked at us today at times as if to say 'please help me', so I know we did the right thing (and the vet agreed, having read his history), but that doesn't stop the guilt.

I'll really miss him - and I was the only one of us five Bobkins who didn't actually WANT a dog. But he won me around, became my running buddy and his main partner for walks. Never again - I'm not going through all that again!

Sorry for your loss @Greg Bobkin

You know this already, but I'm sure it won't harm to hear it again: it was the right thing to do and the kind thing to do. More suffering wouldn't have been fair on anyone, but taking that hard decision has saved him pain.

We've had a cockapoo for 7 years now and he comes with me pretty much everywhere (even the office). Our bond is incredible - the wife accuses me of loving him more than her and sometimes even more than our 2 young kids... (not usually the case, but there are occasions )
To think of him not being around breaks my heart.

You have my sympathy and don't let anyone pooh-pooh your feelings because "it's just a dog".

Give yourself time to decide whether or not you want Bruno II in your life, but carry on with the walks with or without a pooch.

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Just a little (happier, I hope) update from my side to say that we're picking up Flo the Cavapoo on Sunday!

In some ways it still seems a bit early for me, but we're predominantly doing it for the youngest Bobkin who, for reasons I won't go into here, got SO much out of Bruno and misses him terribly.

In some ways I feel guilty about the boy being 'replaced' so soon, but everything else feel into place so well it was like fate!

Everyone has their own opinions about it, but I guess you have to do what you think is right and put your own feelings aside and look at the bigger picture. So bring on the fun and games!

 

[Ooh it’s a corner]

Just a little (happier, I hope) update from my side to say that we're picking up Flo the Cavapoo on Sunday!

In some ways it still seems a bit early for me, but we're predominantly doing it for the youngest Bobkin who, for reasons I won't go into here, got SO much out of Bruno and misses him terribly.

In some ways I feel guilty about the boy being 'replaced' so soon, but everything else feel into place so well it was like fate!

Everyone has their own opinions about it, but I guess you have to do what you think is right and put your own feelings aside and look at the bigger picture. So bring on the fun and games!

Good news - I did tell you your ‘never again’ comment wouldn’t last long. Bruno isn’t being replaced of course - it’s just his legacy living on
Have fun!

 

[Worried Man Blues]

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

We've had to have five cats put to sleep over the years, and although it was hard every time, I promise you that the worst one by far was the one that the vet said we'd left too long. As a wiser person than myself once said, pet owning is an investment in heartbreak that always pays off. We know what we're getting into and it's part of the responsibilities we take on. Not that that will ever make it easier. Just love them while they're here.

 

[Vin]

We had our beloved Staffy (Vinny) put down last year he was nearly 17. Such a great dog and amazing with our young children. He had a checkered life with lots of operations, allergies and illnesses. His last few months he declined quite rapidly and we made the decision to put him to rest to avoid any suffering (he had good days and bad). My friend came round the night before and Vinny was perfect and seemed normal. My mate couldn’t understand why we were putting him to sleep the next day.

I took Vinny to the beach which he adored and got him some special sausages as a last treat. Then he saw all the family for the final time.

We opted for a vet to come to our house and put him to sleep in his comfy bed, surrounded by our young children and my wife. It was very difficult to comprehend. I understand some people don’t want to be around and leave it to a Vet at a practice. As difficult as it was I think the animal would prefer to be with their family and not a stranger on their own.

RIP Vinny.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Just a little (happier, I hope) update from my side to say that we're picking up Flo the Cavapoo on Sunday!

In some ways it still seems a bit early for me, but we're predominantly doing it for the youngest Bobkin who, for reasons I won't go into here, got SO much out of Bruno and misses him terribly.

In some ways I feel guilty about the boy being 'replaced' so soon, but everything else feel into place so well it was like fate!

Everyone has their own opinions about it, but I guess you have to do what you think is right and put your own feelings aside and look at the bigger picture. So bring on the fun and games!

You never replace a pet.

You are owned by the next one.

 

[Weststander]

Just a little (happier, I hope) update from my side to say that we're picking up Flo the Cavapoo on Sunday!

In some ways it still seems a bit early for me, but we're predominantly doing it for the youngest Bobkin who, for reasons I won't go into here, got SO much out of Bruno and misses him terribly.

In some ways I feel guilty about the boy being 'replaced' so soon, but everything else feel into place so well it was like fate!

Everyone has their own opinions about it, but I guess you have to do what you think is right and put your own feelings aside and look at the bigger picture. So bring on the fun and games!

We did exactly the same, but with felines. Rescue twins. It didn’t and doesn’t alter our forever love for our cat that passed.

 

[Flounce]

Having to put a pet down is like losing a member of your family imo. I have cried my eyes out at every single one and being a wimp I have saddled my wife with it every time

I am not proud about that.

 

[Fignon's Ponytail]

We had to have our beautiful 20yr old cat Blue put down on Sunday. She had taken a turn for the worse 10 days ago, but kept eating, was getting up on the top of the cat tower, and was pretty alert still, despite being really frail & losing loads of weight. On Saturday she started messing in random places, then on Sunday AM she messed herself completely in the bathroom. We couldn't let her carry on like that, so it broke our hearts to take her to the vets. We let her have a wander round in the sun for a while before we left, and you could almost see that she knew...and was taking a final look around.

For the last few days we had hoped she would just fall asleep in her favourite spot on the sofa, but it wasn't meant to be. We both bawled our eyes out as she went to sleep, but it was very quick and peaceful.

For two decades she would greet me at the door when I got home, would curl up against me on the sofa every time I sat down, and sleep alongside me in bed every night. She literally was my shadow. Im going to miss her SO much but, despite knowing it was the kindest thing to do, I feel so guilty at taking her life away so suddenly - even though the vet said she probably only had a few days left anyway. Cant stop crying. Our other cat Willow keeps walking around trying to find her big sister too, which is heartbreaking to see....

 

[Insel affe]

We had to have our beautiful 20yr old cat Blue put down on Sunday. She had taken a turn for the worse 10 days ago, but kept eating, was getting up on the top of the cat tower, and was pretty alert still, despite being really frail & losing loads of weight. On Saturday she started messing in random places, then on Sunday AM she messed herself completely in the bathroom. We couldn't let her carry on like that, so it broke our hearts to take her to the vets. We let her have a wander round in the sun for a while before we left, and you could almost see that she knew...and was taking a final look around.

For the last few days we had hoped she would just fall asleep in her favourite spot on the sofa, but it wasn't meant to be. We both bawled our eyes out as she went to sleep, but it was very quick and peaceful.

For two decades she would greet me at the door when I got home, would curl up against me on the sofa every time I sat down, and sleep alongside me in bed every night. She literally was my shadow. Im going to miss her SO much but, despite knowing it was the kindest thing to do, I feel so guilty at taking her life away so suddenly - even though the vet said she probably only had a few days left anyway. Cant stop crying. Our other cat Willow keeps walking around trying to find her big sister too, which is heartbreaking to see....

View attachment 191438

So sorry to hear your news, animals are so precious and when they show love it is unconditional, so much better than humans.
Do not feel guilty though, watching a loved pet suffer is unbearable when you can do nothing for them.
You did the best thing.

 

[Questions]

We had to have our beautiful 20yr old cat Blue put down on Sunday. She had taken a turn for the worse 10 days ago, but kept eating, was getting up on the top of the cat tower, and was pretty alert still, despite being really frail & losing loads of weight. On Saturday she started messing in random places, then on Sunday AM she messed herself completely in the bathroom. We couldn't let her carry on like that, so it broke our hearts to take her to the vets. We let her have a wander round in the sun for a while before we left, and you could almost see that she knew...and was taking a final look around.

For the last few days we had hoped she would just fall asleep in her favourite spot on the sofa, but it wasn't meant to be. We both bawled our eyes out as she went to sleep, but it was very quick and peaceful.

For two decades she would greet me at the door when I got home, would curl up against me on the sofa every time I sat down, and sleep alongside me in bed every night. She literally was my shadow. Im going to miss her SO much but, despite knowing it was the kindest thing to do, I feel so guilty at taking her life away so suddenly - even though the vet said she probably only had a few days left anyway. Cant stop crying. Our other cat Willow keeps walking around trying to find her big sister too, which is heartbreaking to see....

View attachment 191438

You did the right thing. No guilt….

 

[peterward]

We had to have our beautiful 20yr old cat Blue put down on Sunday. She had taken a turn for the worse 10 days ago, but kept eating, was getting up on the top of the cat tower, and was pretty alert still, despite being really frail & losing loads of weight. On Saturday she started messing in random places, then on Sunday AM she messed herself completely in the bathroom. We couldn't let her carry on like that, so it broke our hearts to take her to the vets. We let her have a wander round in the sun for a while before we left, and you could almost see that she knew...and was taking a final look around.

For the last few days we had hoped she would just fall asleep in her favourite spot on the sofa, but it wasn't meant to be. We both bawled our eyes out as she went to sleep, but it was very quick and peaceful.

For two decades she would greet me at the door when I got home, would curl up against me on the sofa every time I sat down, and sleep alongside me in bed every night. She literally was my shadow. Im going to miss her SO much but, despite knowing it was the kindest thing to do, I feel so guilty at taking her life away so suddenly - even though the vet said she probably only had a few days left anyway. Cant stop crying. Our other cat Willow keeps walking around trying to find her big sister too, which is heartbreaking to see....

View attachment 191438

As a cat lover and owner of a similar characteristic furry shadow, I truly feel your pain my friend

Sounds like Blue was very much loved, had a great innings and she was lucky to own you

Hope in time the happy memories exceed the present upset.